To not want to go on holiday?

[HopelesslyHopeful87]

As a general disclaimer, I have quite bad anxiety and I think I may have over thought this. Didn't sleep a wink last night for worrying.

Holiday is booked for Easter holidays. We are booked to go in a static caravan. Me, DP, DD, DSD, DS and 4 month old DD. We are going with friends and their two DC in an 8 berth caravan. It was booked over a year ago before I knew I was expecting DD. Therefore there will be ten of us in the caravan. Wouldn't be a problem usually as two of the girls would top and tail.

The reasons for my worries are:

• DD is only four months old
• We will have to take her whole life with us
• She doesn't sleep brilliantly and is currently in a shit sleep regression
• There is nowhere in the caravan for her to sleep
• There is nowhere in the caravan for me to attempt a semblance of her bedtime routine.
• She has just got out of hospital with severe bronchiolitis which needed three days of intensive care where she almost needed ventilating. Thankfully that didn't happen. I am therefore worried about her being out in the cold and going swimming etc
• She also has reflux
• She is a very light sleeper to the point where us just turning over in bed at night disturbs ber

I am so anxious about not being able to keep her in routine that I've worked so hard to put in. Naps I can work around but at night we do bath, low lights and quiet and a bottle then in her crib in the dark and she self settles with Ewan. In a caravan the travel cot doesn't fit in the main bedroom does it so where will I put her to sleep? The van will be busy and with all the six other kids I don't see how I can do it.

It's making me not want to go. I feel like I'll be the only one bothered about how she sleeps and I'll be trying not to disturb the other kids and the other adults. It was decided that we would sleep in the living room sofa bed thing and the other adults would have the main bedroom due to fitting the travel cot in but that is making me feel worse because I can't go to bed if everyone else is up.

Someone please help me and tell me how I can work around this. The anxiety is doing my head in and is making it so hard to see the wood for the trees. Sorry this was so long.

Ah, well, everything I've said still stands then, and almost certainly would have anyway. Ignore any talk of tents and sleeping in your car and other such nonsense. If all five of your family want to go, you'll need a second van, end of.

Yes, you can't have 10 people in an 8 berth so you'll need another one anyway.

Sounds like a hideous way to spend a holiday to me and to be honest over crowding a caravan/holiday let is shitty behaviour. If someone booked mine and I found out there were more people in it than there should be they would lose the booking and their money.

Lots of good advice here OP. What are you going to do?

Yep. If OP rings PDR she'll be told exactly what's been said here. I've seen people kicked off parks before, for breaking regulations. No exceptions.

Having 10 people in an 8 berth van will be in breach of the booking conditions whoever they have booked through. Have they actually declared the number of occupants?
It sounds like a terrible idea, could you stay nearby in a holiday let / bb and visit during the day?

Just to be clear, friends have purchased the holiday with no pressure for us to financially contribute. They are generous kind and very close friends. Almost family.

I don't want to completely cancel and let them down and my other kids.

To answer other posters, baby is mine and dp's together. I have 2 kids from a previous and he has one. So 4 altogether.

I have spoken about this before and made my worries clear to friends and to dp and nobody really understands what I'm worried about. I would prefer the second van and am looking into affordability for that. I have also spoken again to friend this morning.

Please don't think I have ignored all messages. I have read them all and am trying to work things out.

Baby does still fit in bassinet. Tried that a minute ago. She isn't quite 4 months yet so still got space in there.

I mainly wanted reassurance that my concerns weren't unfounded and that I'm not crazy for worrying about it as my anxiety makes me second guess myself at times.

Your anxiety isn't unfounded, OP. I've stressed it quite clearly that, along with your friend's family, only four of your family - baby doesn't count - can stay in their van with them. So unless you book another van then either you (and presumably baby) or your DP would have to stay behind, which seems rather unfair, but obviously that's for you to decide.

I probably sound like a right know it all on this thread, it's just that we've stayed at this company's parks so many times, we know all rules by now.

Good luck whatever you decide.

I think if you state the rules to DH and friends hopefully you can all come up with a solution together

Aside from the fact that a caravan with this many kids in it will be hellish, if you’ve booked it through a caravan park (as opposed to it being privately owned by friends or family) you will also be breaking their overcrowding rules and run the risk of being chucked out. I wouldn’t even be considering going under these circumstances so you’re not being unreasonable not wanting to go.

As an ex holiday home owner 10 in a 8berth imorning ll be a breach of conditions and invalidate any insurance in place. You can and should be refused entry once the owner/site realise with no refund. Ignore god forbid the worse happened while you where all in that van the renter would be responsible for paying all damage to the van including upto the worst of it burning down To the ground. 3/4K clearance plus cost of a new van and all contents. That’s without the risk to life and other vans if that happened.

An 8 berth isn’t realty for 8 people thats two people on a fold out sofa they are too small. We are a family of five and holiday in 8berths and that’s a nice size in a 6berth it’s too cramped.

When did caravan holidays get so expensive? We (2 families) had a week in a beautiful holiday cottage in a fab location in school hols for less than prices quoted on here.

Actually, scrap what I put about your baby DD not counting towards the occupancy. She would. I've just checked on the PDR website for absolute clarity.

Those caravans are all on top of each other with no soundproofing. I’m not sure your neighbours will be sympathetic to seeing 10 people coming and going and listening to a fractious baby crying all night. If you all manage to get past the reception desk prepare to be ratted out by neighbours.

"10. Who’s in your party. When you book you need to give the names and ages of everyone in your party. Only those people on your booking confirmation can occupy your holiday home or pitch and anyone not named on your confirmation will be asked to leave the park. In these circumstances no refund or compensation will be given.

11. Numbers in your party. The total number in your party (including children and babies) must not exceed the maximum capacity of the holiday home or pitch advertised in this brochure or online."

Just to quote to your friends or DP if they doubt you, OP. It's all there, quite clearly.

Cost of running them.

Butlins. Vans start at 25k for a basic one. Site fee’s 5k a year Plus electric, water £400-£500, insurance, gas and electrics checks. Cleaner £25 a clean extra with bedding. Passes cost owners around £25 a person. Repairs and out of hour repair costs. Fitting it out with all the bits that make private rents better.

In the winter it’s cheaper but actually costs more to run. You can go though a gas bottle in a week £60, £25 cleaning charge, passes for a family of 4 £75 ish electric £10? That’s without the other costs the owner has to factor in to make it worth while renting out. They make the “profit” in the Six weeks but even the next if they need a new carpet/sofa recovering or something you could be at a loss.

"prepare to be ratted out by neighbours."

Umm, no. Anti social behaviour - which does not include babies crying - such as harassment and intimidation, can be reported, and the culprits will be required to leave, not the family with a crying infant. As I have said several times, there won't be ten people staying in one van anyway. They won't get past the reception, full stop.

Liz we had 9 in an 8 berth last time before I had baby and it was fine.

I don’t suffer with anxiety but the thought of this ‘holiday’ would make my heart sink. What would happen if you said you would stay at home with the baby?

You’d be supriced Liz some sites have quite hours which mean any excessive noise disturbing other occupiers can get you removed. 10 people up and down the van including a screaming baby would certainly get you complaints issued agasint you. At which point the numbers would be flagged up if you managed to sneak 10 in and you would be removed. Those complaining would be compensated for the inconvenience.

When I say fine I mean the resort people didn't bat an eyelid, just gave us an extra pass.

And to the poster on about anti social behaviour, our kids are quite reserved and quiet and all sleep wonderfully. Except baby obvs.

I think that if you can't afford an extra small caravan for you and your DH/baby then it would be better not to go. It will be hell if you are all crammed into one caravan. The baby will be more likely to wake up and if they do they will wake everyone else up.
If you could stretch to getting another caravan though it will be a really nice holiday. Are there any really small caravans on site that aren't particularly suitable for families? If there are these might not be too expensive even during school holidays.

"Liz we had 9 in an 8 berth last time before I had baby and it was fine."

Where were you staying, Hope?

Liz, same place. We've been to TB resort before.

Chatty, I was meaning that you can't be kicked off a site because your baby cries. That's what babies do. Adults and teenagers being noisy and rowdy late at night, is a different matter.