To not want to go on holiday?

[HopelesslyHopeful87]

As a general disclaimer, I have quite bad anxiety and I think I may have over thought this. Didn't sleep a wink last night for worrying.

Holiday is booked for Easter holidays. We are booked to go in a static caravan. Me, DP, DD, DSD, DS and 4 month old DD. We are going with friends and their two DC in an 8 berth caravan. It was booked over a year ago before I knew I was expecting DD. Therefore there will be ten of us in the caravan. Wouldn't be a problem usually as two of the girls would top and tail.

The reasons for my worries are:

• DD is only four months old
• We will have to take her whole life with us
• She doesn't sleep brilliantly and is currently in a shit sleep regression
• There is nowhere in the caravan for her to sleep
• There is nowhere in the caravan for me to attempt a semblance of her bedtime routine.
• She has just got out of hospital with severe bronchiolitis which needed three days of intensive care where she almost needed ventilating. Thankfully that didn't happen. I am therefore worried about her being out in the cold and going swimming etc
• She also has reflux
• She is a very light sleeper to the point where us just turning over in bed at night disturbs ber

I am so anxious about not being able to keep her in routine that I've worked so hard to put in. Naps I can work around but at night we do bath, low lights and quiet and a bottle then in her crib in the dark and she self settles with Ewan. In a caravan the travel cot doesn't fit in the main bedroom does it so where will I put her to sleep? The van will be busy and with all the six other kids I don't see how I can do it.

It's making me not want to go. I feel like I'll be the only one bothered about how she sleeps and I'll be trying not to disturb the other kids and the other adults. It was decided that we would sleep in the living room sofa bed thing and the other adults would have the main bedroom due to fitting the travel cot in but that is making me feel worse because I can't go to bed if everyone else is up.

Someone please help me and tell me how I can work around this. The anxiety is doing my head in and is making it so hard to see the wood for the trees. Sorry this was so long.

Op I would just say now you're not going and give your mates a chance to get someone else if they can't afford it themselves.

I have to say it sounds like hell. You'll be stressed out in a confined space - not good for anyone!

Is there a FB group for the area? We get people advertising their caravans on our local FB page cheaper than normal rates. Tent for the older kids and your husband? Next to the caravan

OP it seems that the crux of this issue for you is maintaining the baby's routine? I never bothered about sticking to a routine whilst away as the excitement inevitably meant that things went out of kilter; which was fine. If you can't get a van on your own I would either stay behind with the baby or try to get a cheap b & b and meet up with your family during the day. I don't think it is fair on the DC to cancel it, they will probably have a ball.

Trecco Bay is lovely and definitely recommend BUT there are no caravans on site I would be willing to share with 9 others the bedrooms are small and corridors narrow it’s cosy for our family of 4

Could a couple of the adults and the three older kids pitch a tent on site?

I'd probably go for a couple of nights to show willing. And then come home.

Or could you suggest to the other couple that your family goes there Saturday to Wednesday? And they can come Monday to Saturday?

That way you spend some time together and get some time alone in the van?

If the baby isn't sleeping through then every single person in that caravan is going to be awake half the night and you are going to be hugely stressed. That's not a holiday for anyone.

Your circumstances have changed so you need to have another conversation. Either DH gets the train with the older kids or none of you go. Tell the couple now though.

That sounds like utter hell,before the baby...is baby your dp child? I only ask as he dosnt seem concerned about where baby will sleep..why isn't he sorting this out...most people on this thread agree with you.most of us would be feeling as you do.nothing to do with yr anxiety.you are correct to worry...however if dp really won't sort this out ....I would suggest go back to the original plan ,you and dp have the main bedroom.baby sleeps on top of the quilt in between you with pillows at baby's feet ..I did that with all 4 of mine..but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea...alternatively,could you pitch a small tent at the side of the caravan? Stick yr dp in it and you have bedroom with baby ....I'm sure if you talk to the other family they will help you come up with something

I really don't think it would be a holiday in those circumstances. How on earth can you all use one tiny caravan bathroom? I would encourage DP to go alone with the kids.

I couldn't do that with a baby. Well unless I really had to.
I am a bit of a snob though when it comes to having my own space when on holiday

What about asking your friend if they have other friends that could go in your place.

I wouldn't want to do it with a young baby who isn't sleeping well - largely because, in a caravan with that many people, it's going to be difficult to settle a baby, plus, if she is awake a lot in the night, everyone else will be disturbed and you will feel mightily stressed out!

Can your partner go on the train/megabus with the older children and you stay home with baby? I know that means you miss out on the holiday but at least it will be less stressful.

Again would be a shame for older kids to miss out so I would look into option of dp and kids going by train or coach

Sounds hideous and nothing like a holiday.

I would stay home ( you could drive them up I guess, if you had to). Let them have a Dad and kids holiday,
Two less bodies in the caravan would be good all round.

You don't need to be anxious! Just do want you know will make you happy and not go.

I'm not sure if I read right but I think there will be a problem with overcrowding if the site find out and you may need to get wrist bands for all the kids so they'd know.
One top and tailing sounds as if you are well over the limit.

I fell out with my oldest and closest friend when we shared a static one half term, it's just too stressful and there's no escape from the noise as the walls are paper thin.

If you ageeed to this before you were pregnant you’ve had over a year to come up with an alternative plan/save for your caravan cost/look for a cheap deal on another caravan,
If i was your friends I would be majorly pissed off if you dropped out and left us paying for a bigger caravan than we needed

I agree with the consensus. You can’t just “sort it out”. If it doesn’t work out, which let’s face it, it won’t, you may be seen as the party pooper. Best to make a plan with another van and I see that’s too expensive. Or else your dh takes the children on the train.

Trecco Bay have entertainment passes and you cant access the evening bit without them (and they are very strict) on it. Swimming also needs the same pass to access for free as well

You can't share a caravan. It will be a nightmare. Holidays are meant to be relaxing. If you can't get another caravan then book a hotel or don't go.

Hope you manage to sort it. Airbnb worth a try? I know this wasn't the topic of your post but if you're in England you should have free access to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for your anxiety. Ask your GP or google IAPT and your area. There might be a waiting list so worth contacting them soon if it's something you think might be helpful even if you won't be able to attend right away.

I’m usually in the ‘you’ll be fine when you get there’ camp but I wouldn’t do this. I think your partner should get the train with the older children and you stay with the baby.

You can't possibly go, OP, not when your DD develops sickness bug 3 days before the holiday. I mean, you wouldn't want everyone else to catch it.....

There are some caravans to rent on Gumtree OP

It won't be a holiday, cancel if you can't find anything else you can afford.

Sorry it's such stress.

You can do this if you want to.
Have had another think.
Depends what's most important to you. Being able to go to bed before the others if you are tired or having more space in the night for settling baby.
If the former, then take the bedroom. If the latter then take the sofabed in the main room. But put baby in the bedroom until your bedtime.
Key to all this is having a bassinet/travel cot that is big enough for baby and fits in the available space. Get measurements of the room spaces. Make sure your bassinet is big enough for baby or beg/borrow one that is. She's only 5/6 months. There will be something suitable for her.

Op, Trecco bay is one of the sites that always has cheap vans to hire, I went once for about 70 quid for mon to fri. Especially if the Easter hols are at a different time to yours.

How on earth can ten of you stay in an 8 berth? If it's Trecco Bay you're going to, that's run by Parkdean Resorts. We've been holidaying with them (originally as Parkdean) on and off for years now, and they are very strict about occupancy. 8 berth = 8 people, child or adult plus infant in cot. No more, full stop. No topping and tailing. So I really don't understand how this booking can have been made, unless some names have been missed off the online form, in which they'd be very likely to turn you - or some of you - away if you turn up with ten for an 8 berth.

PR have plenty of vans for about £360 for that week depending on where you want to go. And the vans aren't cold - gas fire in the living room plus heaters in every room. We've always been toasty. When we've stayed in vans when the DDs have been tiny we've managed to fit a travel cot in the living room with DH and I in the sofa bed. No room for a cot in the double bedroom which is why we've slept in the living room with a tot. But no, ten into eight just won't go.