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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am being unreasonable, IDGAF

83 replies

squarecorners · 03/03/2018 20:55

"D"H threatened to walk out and do his usual flounce off to the pub because I brought up the woman he had an affair with in a relevant conversation and he didn't like it. I got my shoes on first and walked to the pub. He frequently "goes for a pint" which lasts several hours and is inconvenient as I'm trapped at home with ds. I've left him looking after ds this time while I've had 3 double whiskies and I feel fucking great. Fuck that bastard.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 03/03/2018 21:14

Ok snow, we get it you want to fight with strangers on the Internet. Knock yourself out.

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 03/03/2018 21:16

That is the actual point of AIBU. Hmm

But I was merely pointing out where you went wrong. If you're feeling that sensitive, maybe you should close the screen?

BewareOfDragons · 03/03/2018 21:19

While I get while you did it, you have joined your husband on the low road. You didn't go out to get some air, have a think, calm down and then go back to discuss rationally (or at least try to). You went to the pub to get one over on him because he usually pisses off in a huff leaving you home with the DC after a fight.

You don't sound happy. He has cheated on you. It's still sitting there. Why are you?

GrannyGrissle · 03/03/2018 21:20

Hurrah for you. Can we make you the patron saint of flouncing before the fucker man child does (or something). You've done us proud OP. GinWineHalo

NewYearNewMe18 · 03/03/2018 21:20

My concern for the OP would be getting drunk in temper and perhaps having an unprotected revenge fuck, regretting it in the morning.

JonnyUtah · 03/03/2018 21:23

My concern for the OP would be getting drunk in temper and perhaps having an unprotected revenge fuck, regretting it in the morning.

Bloody hell bit of a leap!

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 03/03/2018 21:24

You didn't go out to get some air, have a think, calm down and then go back to discuss rationally

Why should she? Accepting the role of responsible adult isn't a particularly good way of persuading a selfish manchild to abandon the role of entitled teenager.

mynameisLuca · 03/03/2018 21:24

My concern for the OP would be getting drunk in temper and perhaps having an unprotected revenge fuck, regretting it in the morning

is she drinking some special brand of whiskey laced with lsd or something? What a fucking leap!!

Angrybird345 · 03/03/2018 21:25

Good for you!!

NewYearNewMe18 · 03/03/2018 21:27

Do note use of the word 'perhaps' in my comment. I tend to forget how utterly literal some of you are and cant actually understand what is written and persist in putting your own warped interpretation

IHATEPeppaPig · 03/03/2018 21:28

Good for you - however, agree with pp's you don't sound happy. Are you happy?!

MammaTJ · 03/03/2018 21:31

Go You!! Perfect response!!

We will also be available to listen should you wish to talk about more long term solutions!

Finnyhaddock · 03/03/2018 21:32

An unprotected revenge fuck on three whiskies! Are you reading Mills and Boon 🤔

Finnyhaddock · 03/03/2018 21:33

‘Perhaps’ (hmm)

Idontdowindows · 03/03/2018 21:33

Not unreasonable and time to put the exit plan into motion I think.

VioletCharlotte · 03/03/2018 21:35

Well done for making a stand and not letting him walk out on you. My advice would be to go easy on the whiskey though. You sound like you're in a good place right now... stay there and don't drink so much you get punchy and do/say something you'll regret later.

As pp have said, this can't be a great way to live, so maybe have a think about what it is you really want.

Original poster
squarecorners · 03/03/2018 21:36

I wouldn't have a revenge fuck, I'd rather have a cup of tea.
I love ds, but husband often deliberately leaves me unable to do things I've planned to do because he wants to go out. He just leaves and knows I won't put ds in danger. I'm not above spending time with ds, indeed I have spent all day with him while husband believes that watching him for an hour is babysitting and thus beneath him.
I'm still with him because I'd lose a lot of money if we divorced at this point in time. I'm not being made penniless because he's a piece of shit. He's had a lot of my money from savings and inheritance and I'd not get a thing back if we divorced now. I don't care about the money for the pure fact of it, but money is safety for me and ds, which is why I'm fucked if I've got to live in a slum because that prick can't keep his dick in his pants.

OP posts:
Blackteadrinker77 · 03/03/2018 21:36

I must be super human, I manage several double whiskeys without sleeping with random men or destroying my children.

What do I win for being so awesome? Wine

overduemamma · 03/03/2018 21:37

Love this (not the misery) why do men get to fuck off while we stay at home?!? Props to you x

PussGirl · 03/03/2018 21:38

After several years, the sniping about affairs becomes wearing.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2018 21:38

He is a parent, he can look after his own son

What is with these "woman, get back to your son" posts Hmm

I don't expect his father gave much thought to him when he dipped his wick elsewhere

Op...take some time for yourself. And think very carefully whether this man is worth living like this x

mynameisLuca · 03/03/2018 21:40

How horrible for people to suggest a child is being "destroyed" because his parents are having problems. You would not say that to anyone in real life, you know how unacceptable it would be. Also completely inaccurate.
I bet OP's child is perfectly fine and not remotely destroyed.

dadshere · 03/03/2018 21:46

Three doubles is BU, but only to yourself ( I would be passed out). Have a nice night.

Original poster
squarecorners · 03/03/2018 21:46

He's not worth living like this, but he's also not worth writing off the future my parents and grandparents doesn't their lives working for because I want an easy exit. He's a narcissist, I know how to deal with him now. I grey rock him and he hates it. He sent me this earlier, thinking I would be miffed I had to walk out instead of drive because he'd blocked my car in:
Lesson in this; don't say shitty, hurtful things like you did there.
LOL I DON'T CARE YOU HORRIBLE FUCK!
Actually I'm capable of being a much bigger bitch than you'll ever experience but I'm much too much of an adult to destroy your world, so count yourself very fucking lucky.
Gone to my mum's flat nearby to chill out for a bit. Can't decide whether to go home or not.
DS should be fine, he is with a parent, after all, I haven't left him to the wolves. Husband is aware of how to fulfil DS's basic needs...

OP posts:
IllustriouslyIllogical · 03/03/2018 21:50

No getting pissed when in charge of a child (alone.)

Really? Only on Mumsnet......

In real life people get hammered while the kids are asleep, it's only the virtue signallers on here that lie & say one of them is always on "ambulance duty".....