To think condoms are as good as the pill

[Ribrabrob]

I don't use the pill because I don't like the idea of putting hormones into my body (however can completely understand why others choose to take it and have no issue with it). I also do not feel comfortable with other forms of contraception such as the implant, injection etc. Therefore my one and only method of contraception is to use condoms (always).

Am I naive and unreasonable for thinking this is a reliable and safe method of contraception? (I'm more than happy to be told that I am). Should I look further into other methods?

)For context, I used the pill for a very short time in my teens and I did not like it. It made me feel ill)

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If you've found this page in search of condoms that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best condoms useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

We are v fertile, use condoms and have had two incidents where I used the MAP, due to the condom coming off inside me. That is over 14 years.

The effectiveness % is over one year, isn't it? So 98% effective means that 2 couples out of 100 will have a failure/pregnancy in the course of having sex over one year? That could be quite a lot of sex!

That is incorrect, male condoms are about 98% effective with perfect use, see the NHS website: www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/#male-and-female-condoms. Not trying to nitpick but there is a significant difference between 98% and 85% tbf.

The NHS has two figures - the mathematic perfect use figure (98%) and a real world use figure (82%). They recognise that the reality of using a condom (or pill for that matter) is that people won't use them 100% perfectly.

And the reason behind my thinking is that although I have been with dh 13 years sometimes sex is spontaneous sometimes it doesn't happen for a while and personally I wouldn't be that organised for spontaneous sex ?

Mistake ... I know, hence why I specified 'perfect use'. I did that in response to a poster who also specified 'perfect use' but claimed that the 'perfect use' figure was 85%, which is incorrect. They were confusing the two it seems (perfect use and typical use), hence my clarification.

There's something wrong with every type of contraception!
Either the effectiveness or how it affects your body.
Condoms were my favourite in a long term relationship.
My worst without a doubt was the Mirena coil which I felt ruined my labido and made me fat!
The only thing I would say is for condoms, it's best to have a plan if one splits or there is an unplanned pregnancy. What is a good choice for one person might not suit another.

I have got pregnant the first time of trying every time we’ve ttc (4 times) and never when we haven’t been ttc. We use condoms. I can’t bear hormonal contraception - everything I’ve tried has had some sort of undesirable side effect.

The failure rate doesn't mean you'll get pregnant. It means they will fail as though you'd not used them at all, in which case, you're down to the normal chances of getting pregnant.

A better way to look at is:

If you have sex 100 times with a condom, and used them 100% perfectly, it would be same as having no protection during sex twice.
If you use the condoms in a typical way (maybe some minor mistake in applying them, or it comes off, or gets compromised in some way, it's the same as having sex 18 times without protection.

MeadowHay - no problem! We were both trying to correct the same figure! Apologies

We’ve used condoms for getting on for 15 years. No problems and when my request for sterilisation was refused my GP recommended condoms as being better than the pill if used properly.

Dh and I have used them for 22 years, 2 have split in that time. One child as a result of ttc. Figure they work for us. I hated being on the pill so never took it with dh.

The effectiveness % is over one year, isn't it? So 98% effective means that 2 couples out of 100 will have a failure/pregnancy in the course of having sex over one year? That could be quite a lot of sex!

No, it's not time dependant. It's purely down to the number of times you have sex.
But, also, it could fail the first time.
'On average' it will fail 2 times out of 100. Sometimes it will be once, sometimes it might be 3 times, there is no telling WHEN it might fail...

Why not also follow cycle charting so you can increase your chances of avoiding pregnancy by avoiding fertile days as much as possible? That will be my plan if my libido ever comes back since I’ve recently stopped the pill. That way if the condom does fail then pregnancy is less likely.

It is per year of use, not per single use.

It was always difficult to get an accurate failure rate for condoms, because teens with unwanted pregnancies were often too embarrassed to admit they’d used no contraception, so would tell lies and say they’d used a condom.
Reliable brands are all properly tested, and if used correctly and every time, the failure rate is comparable to oral contraception.
They have the added benefit of some degree of protection against STI’s too. They’re not a bad option for women who have problems with the pill, coil or implants.

OP, you might want to consider using a fertility monitor, like Persona. It is a bit of a pain having to pee on a stick every day though.

FancyNewBeesly's suggestion is a good one - you have to try and minimise your odds via whatever techniques you can... usually combining using a condom with where you are in your cycle, and possibly withdrawing before ejaculation (or having him cum in some other manner) etc. The more combined techniques you can use, the less likely you'll get pregnant.

It is per year of use, not per single use.

It is not per year of use, it is purely a percentage failure rate. Timing has NO effect. If you use a condom 100 times in a month, 2 times will fail (on average).

The NHS website says 'in a year' - this is incorrect and misleading.
The percentage failure rates are NOT time dependant. One woman having sex 300 times in a year using a condom is more likely to become pregnant than one having sex 3 times in a year using a condom.

The NHS uses 'per year' representing an average amount of sex, for an average woman (but does not define what this average amount is).
As I say, a woman having sex 3 times per year is far less likely to get pregnant than one having sex 300 times, which is why it's so dangerous to just use a 'in a year' figure.

I have used them for 13 years with my partner and the one time we stopped - planning to have a child - I got pregnant that month. No other times, always effective for me. I also used condoms in previous LTR for about 3 years with no problems.

The only time I have had condoms split was a fling with a man with a bent penis. After the second visit to the clinic for MAP within a fortnight it fizzled out.

A bent penis? the mind boggles.

I have a copper coil but before that I used condoms and persona in combination

Of the last 14 years, I've been on the pill for about 8 months-1 year and the rest condoms.

When ttc never taken more than 2 months and never had a pregnancy/spilt/come off. I don't like hormonal contraception, Still able to keep things spur of the moment as we have loads within easy reach. I always use Durex (i think the safest?) And am quite vigilant about correct usage.

It wasn't my mind that was boggled!

to posters in marriages where you are using condoms permenantly

I have some genuine questions -

How do you manage with this? Doesn't your husband object?

I hate using condoms in a monogamous long term relationship - it's not just breaking the mood part for me- I think I have a psychological thing that I feel like my partner won't enjoy it anywhere near as much (because of dulled sensation/no contact with your own 'wetness') plus the lack of intimacy of a barrier. In that way that your partner's pleasure turns you on more, when using condoms I always feel that he won't be enjoying as much and will feel a bit less engaged.

Even if I was in a situation where that was forced on me because of medical issues and no other contraception was an option, I would fear that sooner or later my partner would get fed up with it and either leave me or have an affair with someone on the pill - so that they could have the full pleasure of sex without a condom.

I accept this may be my own insecurity but I'd be really interested to know how people in this situation cope with it and any fears like this.

Doesn't this bother you?