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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with my employee?

161 replies

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 02/03/2018 21:27

I have very recently employed a new girl to help with my horses. She wasn't quite what I was looking for in the level of her experience but I liked her and maybe saw a bit of myself in her and decided to hire her and train her on the job. This isn't totally ideal in that I'm busy and this is another drain on my time. It's being going ok but on Tuesday she contacted me to let me know she wouldn't make it in due to the snow. I was a bit annoyed because it wasn't that bad and I could have picked her up from the village as I've done before to save her mum (who drops her off as she doesn't drive). It meant I was left with a yard full of animals in the snow and a toddler on my own. She has just contacted me to say she won't be in this weekend because she went to her granny's to help her out with her horses (45mins away, we live 10 tops) and is now snowed in there. My PILs have just driven home via that way no trouble. I am worried because she needs lots of training which I'm loathe to do if she's going to be unreliable. She wants to bring a horse here which I'm happy with except I would have had yet another animal to look after. I'm worried I will seem like an unreasonable bitch if I sack someone for not turning in when the weather has been so horrific but I feel the whole thing has been a bit unprofessional.

OP posts:
Steamcloud · 03/03/2018 08:37

I agree with eddielizzard. I'd be annoyed too but have a word rather than write a message. She is dependent on her mother for transport and there may be a disconnect between her parents view of their daughter's job (a bit of casual work experience) and your view of it (you need a responsible employee) and the daughter may not have the power to change this particular situation (something which will obviously need addressing for the future). Or, she could just be being flaky. A proper talk will establish which it is.

Although it's good of you to give her the chance when she has little experience, tbh, if I had a toddler and a yard of horses that need looking after whatever the weather, then I perhaps wouldn't have employed a sixteen year old in the first place (well not as someone I needed to rely on solely ifyswim). Hope things work out for you both op!

chocatoo · 03/03/2018 08:39

Chat to her about the importance of not letting you down and give her a bit longer. My DD just started a weekend job with ad hoc hours and I am having to get used to checking when she's available so it's a learning curve for us all. She's dependant on her mum for a lift - could you suggest she rings you to see if you are possibly available to cadge a lift if mum isn't available (obvs not all the time)?

LIZS · 03/03/2018 08:40

As long as she went to her gps on her own time ( ie not while she was not able to get to you) then I don't think you can hold it against her although it should be unpaid until she can. She sounds naive and flaky though. How far is it for her to walk to yours from home?

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2018 08:42

When I was a child (16 or 17), i was sacked from my Saturday job for giving 2 weeks instead of 4 weeks notice for holiday. I didn’t understand the world of work properly and hadn't thought the implication through on booking. I found another and far better job. In hindsight I suppose I dropped them in it. I was working and treated as an adult.

So where do I stand on personal responsibility? It was standard to leave School and get a full time job/apprenticeship at this age not so long ago. All of a sudden a 16 yo employee, who op is training to look after her living, breathing animals, is only a child and should according to certain posters be treated as some kind of special snowflake. Imo the world of work is the world of work. Explanations and allowances for mistakes. But not repeated ones or such blatantly stupid ones.

Spam88 · 03/03/2018 08:43

I think most people on this thread are completely overreacting.

She couldn't get to work because of the snow. Her parents then decided to drive to her grandmothers - I don't actually see what bearing that has on the fact she couldn't get to work. Maybe it means they could have got to you, but if her parents weren't willing to try then I don't know what you expected her to do?

I think it would be completely unfair to decide she's isn't committed based on these unusual circumstances. When things are back to normal, if there's still a perceived lack of commitment raise it then.

Doobigetta · 03/03/2018 08:46

It seems to me that there's a significant difference between what a large yard with several stable hands can/should do, and a private one with a single helper like the OP. I'd expect a large yard to be more prepared to take on young, inexperienced staff and be prepared to train and manage them to a point where they're reliable, and expect a few slips along the way. When you have one member of staff, reliability and a bit of maturity is more important because there's no one else to pick up the slack. It's the same across lots of professions and industries. Doesn't mean 16 year old can never find work, but being the single point of failure might not be the right job at that age.

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 08:47

Anyone expecting a 16 year old to walk a ten minute drive in heavy snow is being ridiculous. The OP has a duty of care, the girl is still under the Children's Act, it would be seriously reprehensible to tell her to walk. Get a grip.

woodpecker2 · 03/03/2018 08:50

I would let her go, it's an outdoor job with live animals, I would have an expectation she would get there whatever ( especially as she has proven she can travel. ) Not all employees are like this and she isn't going to change soon. Look for one that is a bit more conciencious.

mmzz · 03/03/2018 08:51

Pengggwn, how about you read the OP carefully?
OP: I could have picked her up from the village as I've done before to save her mum (who drops her off as she doesn't drive).

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 08:52

mmzz

I don't get what you mean. How did what I said suggest I didn't read the OP?

Steamcloud · 03/03/2018 08:53

Doobigetta speaks sense!

Doublechocolatetiffin · 03/03/2018 08:54

I would be frustrated too OP and I think her attitude is probably an indication that she isn’t the right employee for you. Yes I understand the weather has been bad, and I will caveat as I know it does depend on where abouts you are in the country as some places are much worse than others, but when you work with animals you do have to accept that you need to find a way to get to them come rain or shine (or snow!).

I would certainly be revoking my offer to stable a horse of hers, as there is no way on earth I’d be happy to have it there now. That horse will be her responsibility twice a day every day irrespective of weather conditions and she has shown that she is not that committed.

MissWilmottsGhost · 03/03/2018 08:55

She is 16, she can't drive. She is relying on lifts to get there.

Probably her parents have refused to let their child go out in a red/amber weather warning (understandable) and she is stuck. Maybe they insisted she go and help granny.

If she is only 10 minutes drive away and you could have picked her up from the village then why not pick her up from her house? It can't be much further away.

A 10 minute drive could be a 40 minute walk in good weather, longer on snow. Are people really saying she should have walked it? Confused

Give her a chance. The weather has been worse than usual and her reliability this week may not be representative of her normal behaviour.

I would not let her keep her horse there unless she does prove herself to be reliable. Maybe offer her 6 months probation before that?

CherryMaDeary · 03/03/2018 08:56

Anyone expecting a 16 year old to walk a ten minute drive in heavy snow is being ridiculous. The OP has a duty of care, the girl is still under the Children's Act, it would be seriously reprehensible to tell her to walk. Get a grip.

Pengwn, but that's not what OP is saying. OP would have picked her up her from the girl's village, she wasn't expecting her to walk all the way.

mmzz · 03/03/2018 08:56

TBH, OP, her mum should have been telling her to get herself to work on Tuesday. Either she was, and the girl didn't go anyway (in which case you need to sack her)

Or the mother didn't, in which case the girl is likely to have not learned about responsibility and commitment at home and you'll have a major challenge on your hands if you decide to keep her on and try to instill it into her yourself.

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 08:57

CherryMaDeary

I wasn't referring to the OP. I was referring to the people talking about how she should have found a way to get there whatever the circumstances. No lift = she would have had to walk. That is really dangerous in this weather and not something anyone reasonable would be prepared to let a 16 year old employee do.

CherryMaDeary · 03/03/2018 08:58

MissWilmott

Probably her parents have refused to let their child go out in a red/amber weather warning (understandable) and she is stuck. Maybe they insisted she go and help granny.

But surely if the weather is too bad to be picked from her village for a 10 min ride then it's too bad to be driven 40 mins to her gran's?

mmzz · 03/03/2018 09:00

poster Pengggwn Because you said that she was being required to walk when it is clear that there is a background of either the OP driving her or her mother driving her.
Is this difficult for you?

Shadow666 · 03/03/2018 09:00

I wouldn’t text. Have a word next time you see her instead. A text can be too easily misunderstood.

Put her on a probation period, say three months. If she passes the probation, then she can leave a horse at your place, if not, let her go.

LexieLulu · 03/03/2018 09:01

I think you should send the email about if you want this job you have to have a level of commitment.

Tell her you drove past the route she would have took to work and it was safe to travel

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 09:01

mmzz

I don't think it is. I think you didn't read my post very well and you've now jumped in with snotty comments. I won't be replying again.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 03/03/2018 09:05

Actually I think the crux of the matter here for you OP is that you want an employee that will be able to turn up no matter what. It doesn’t matter the why this girl hasn’t been able to make it, if reliability under all circumstances is a top priority to you then it’s not a good fit.

I’d probably look for someone else, probably with their own 4x4 transport or similar.

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 09:08

Doublechocolatetiffin

Exactly. If you want someone to turn up in all weather you need an experienced driver.

EggysMom · 03/03/2018 09:10

OP, I don't think you message her with anything other than "We'll have a chat when you are next in work". You need to talk to her face to face, as someone else said, you need to judge whether there is a look of mortification or a look of smugness. She's young, she may genuinely not understand the commitment of a job such as this; or she could be a cocky twit who is playing you. Talk to her and either help her to understand or give her a warning.

differentnameforthis · 03/03/2018 09:12

mmzz But the op didn't offer to pick her up on this occasion, so that's a bit of a moot point.