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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with my employee?

161 replies

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 02/03/2018 21:27

I have very recently employed a new girl to help with my horses. She wasn't quite what I was looking for in the level of her experience but I liked her and maybe saw a bit of myself in her and decided to hire her and train her on the job. This isn't totally ideal in that I'm busy and this is another drain on my time. It's being going ok but on Tuesday she contacted me to let me know she wouldn't make it in due to the snow. I was a bit annoyed because it wasn't that bad and I could have picked her up from the village as I've done before to save her mum (who drops her off as she doesn't drive). It meant I was left with a yard full of animals in the snow and a toddler on my own. She has just contacted me to say she won't be in this weekend because she went to her granny's to help her out with her horses (45mins away, we live 10 tops) and is now snowed in there. My PILs have just driven home via that way no trouble. I am worried because she needs lots of training which I'm loathe to do if she's going to be unreliable. She wants to bring a horse here which I'm happy with except I would have had yet another animal to look after. I'm worried I will seem like an unreasonable bitch if I sack someone for not turning in when the weather has been so horrific but I feel the whole thing has been a bit unprofessional.

OP posts:

FuckyDucky · 03/03/2018 06:53

This reminds me of when I was 17 and took a job working in kennels. I wasn’t living at home either, lived in a house share with a friend so late nights+alcohol and I wasn’t the most reliable employee.
My boss rang me and said ‘look you either want the fucking job or you don’t’
It was the kick up the arse I needed and I’m glad he wasn’t nicey nice about it and I stayed there for many years after.
Maybe tell her you’re pissed off with her lack of commitment and ask her if the job is really what she wants to do.
Working with animals isn’t for the faint-hearted.
It’s hard, it’s cold, it’s not well paid. People like the idea of it but not always the reality.

Voiceforreason · 03/03/2018 06:57

My daughter left her car at the side of the road and climbed over a snow drift to get to her horses. Animals depend on us to care for them. But then ours is a farming community and animal welfare is everyone's first priority.

Devilishpyjamas · 03/03/2018 07:00

I’d give it another couple of weeks. If her parents won’t drive her in the snow, and she doesn’t drive herself, her options are quite limited

This

Also it surely depends exactly where she lives? I live just off a main road but today is the first day I would drive anywhere (a car has been written off at the end of our street from two cars sliding into it).

Devilishpyjamas · 03/03/2018 07:03

Point being even right next to each other some roads can be passable and some not.

HotelEuphoria · 03/03/2018 07:03

So she couldn't get to the next village to see to your horses but somehow got to granny's 45 minutes away to see to hers?

I am guessing granny needed help looking after her own horses in the snow and she took priority.

Just saying.

OldBlueStitches · 03/03/2018 07:05

Whether you're paying her double or not doesn't make a difference if she doesn't actually NEED the money. Sadly.

If she needed that money, it would have been unlikely she went 45 mins in the snow to her grandparents with a risk she couldn't make it back for work. She's not coming to help you out, it's her job.

I'd not want to, but I'd either suck it up this time because who knows if her grandparents are in some dire situation, or offer to drive the 45mins (well, 90) to get her yourself from them and bring her back. (It seems she's not driving herself but her mother is), if you really need her. Wipe the slate clean and make your expectations of work clear (but not on the journey back!!! Do it the next time she comes to work). And give her a fixed period to show commitment. That way both of you know where you stand.

YimminiYoudar · 03/03/2018 07:06

It's not right to sack her just for not coming to work due to snow - but not coming to work due to snow AND THEN travelling to somewhere else more difficult to get to, to do the same work should be a disciplinary offence. You should have a stern word about that and say that you expect her to prioritise getting to work whenever that can be achieved safely.

Certainly do not allow her to move her horse there until she has proven herself reliable even when there are crises and difficulties to overcome. It's not on if she can only be counted on if there's nothing complicated happening.

EasterRobin · 03/03/2018 07:08

Did you offer to pick her up? It doesn't sound like you did, so you can't complain she didn't suggest you drove to collect her. She sounds a bit young to have much experience driving in snow and all the warnings may be concerning for her (or her parents). Next time, say you can pick her up and do the work together in the cold. If she turns you down, then you can think about getting rid.

MyBoysAndI · 03/03/2018 07:08

If.she can travel to other areas then she can get to you.

I would tell her that you're not happy with her excuses and tell her that she either comes and fulfils her contract with you or she'll have to leave

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2018 07:17

Pengggwyn
The whole point is being horses, op needs someone reliable to care for them. The teen chose to go and help granny even though she knew the weather was bad and may risk her job. She made choices. And the choices weren’t to help out her employer but her family. That’s fine. It’s got nothing to do with her being a princess. It’s got to do with priorities as per Voiceforreason’s post.

CherryMaDeary · 03/03/2018 07:22

You can't just sack someone because they were unable to get in to work due to the snow. That's not just being unreasonable, that's breaking employment law.

Besm, if the employee has only started recently, OP can sack her.

OP, it sounds like she's taking the piss. I can't call my employer and tell him I can"t come to work because I'm taking care of ny Granny's business and neither can she.

Is she still expecting to be paid for those days she missed?

Save yourself weeks of frustration and get rid.

Original poster

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 03/03/2018 07:26

Thanks for all the comments. I'll try to answer some of the points. I didn't offer to pick her up because she said I can't get to the village so it would have been picking her up from her house which I didn't want to offer to do because I felt there was no need so why would I do that then pay her too? I don't think she has lots of money or is a spoiled princess but I do think you doesn't understand the fact it's a job and so requires commitment. To all the posters saying IBU because they couldn't travel in the snow. The point is they did travel in the snow. We are very rural, her granny much less so but in order to get to her granny they've travelled some bad roads on wed afternoon when the snow had got much worse.
I think perhaps the fairest thing is to have a firm word about commitment. When I was a groom there was terrible floods and my boss said to all of us don't even think about not getting to work. The horses need you here. We drove our defender through bonnet deep floods because I knew I had to get there. Both me and DH have done low paid jobs for demanding bosses and gone above and beyond. What irritates me is I don't want to be like the bosses I had but I feel like I'm repaid with lack of commitment.
Do you think because she is young I should send her a message outlining how I feel and ask if she wants to have a think about if this is the job for her so she can have a think and a chat to her mum over the weekend?

OP posts:

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 07:33

I think you need to treat her as you would an adult employee, and ask her why she was unable to get to you but able to get to her gran. Why wouldn't you ask her?

silkpyjamasallday · 03/03/2018 07:35

Sending her that sort of message seems the best plan OP, you can be relatively nice about it but firm that you need 100% commitment to this job or you need to look for someone else. However if she doesn't drive it may have been her parents making the executive decision that her helping her granny was more important, and if the girl can't drive that doesn't give her much choice in the matter. I'd give her another chance but if she repeats this sort of behaviour then you'll have to let her go.

differentnameforthis · 03/03/2018 07:38

She made choices She did? OP says she doesn't drive, so she was at the mercy of her parents. If her parents refused to drive her to work in the snow, but then drove to one of their parents houses, that's on them, not the young girl!

whiteroseredrose · 03/03/2018 07:40

I think your suggestion is a good one. Let her know that you're disappointed and why. Outline your expectations and ask if she still wants the job.

Personwithhorse · 03/03/2018 07:42

The staff where I keep my horse are fantastic, the management treat them well. Even then they find it difficult to find new staff if one leaves.

We have had some really useless ones usually young females and the least efficient are ones that are doing horse studies at the colleges where they appear to be taught little that is practical.

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 07:42

It's not the OP's problem if the girl doesn't drive - if she can't reliably get to work, she isn't in a position to do the job. BUT driving in the snow to get to an elderly relative and driving in the snow to get to a job aren't really the same thing. Jobs do require commitment, but nobody should be expected to endanger themselves. Elderly relatives are always going to come in some distance above someone else's horses.

Pengggwn · 03/03/2018 07:43

We have had some really useless ones usually young females

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2018 07:46

As she went to her grans in deeper snow, I’d be incredibly annoyed. It sounds as if you want to give her one last chance. So yes, send her a very stiff message about lack of commitment stating your frustration that she was able to get to her grans during worsened snow but not to you Tuesday or today. Either way, you both know where you stand.

CherryMaDeary · 03/03/2018 07:47

We don't know her granny is elderly?! If she has horses she's probably young. She could be in her 50s.

LightastheBreeze · 03/03/2018 07:48

How old is she, you mention her parent several times, is she under 18?

FuckyDucky · 03/03/2018 07:48

She shouldn’t have taken the job if she can’t get herself there.
I couldn’t drive either at 17 but cycled every day (after the bollocking!), whatever the weather down a long, very dark, pothole ridden lane to get to my job.
OP I think your message is perfect, gives her the chance to back out if she wants to or step up if she doesn’t.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2018 07:48

Pengggwyn
She was going to help out her grandmother with her horses. Not to look after her grandmother.

SundaysFunday · 03/03/2018 07:50

I don't think she respects you or values the job.

Have a stern word and give her one last chance. Unfortunately, I think she will let you down again and in the end you will find she's not the right person for the job.

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