Or is he?

[SnowedIn2018]

OH had an evening at the pub planned with his work mates for a few weeks. A friends birthday. I've woken up this morning with the flu and I feel dreadful. We have a 6 month old DS. I text him at 4 when he finished and asked if he could maybe go for one or two then come home and help me? (DS is teething and incredibly grizzly and has refused two naps today so I'm running on low). He has messaged now (2 and a half hours later) to say he will be home at 9 as he has had this planned for weeks and he's enjoying himself and I need to "get my big girl pants on". I'm feeling ropey and been sick twice and I'm exhausted looking after a LO who has kept me up all night and won't settle. AIBU by being upset he hasn't come to help me or AIBU by asking him to come home and ruining his pre made plans?

He's BU he should of come home to help with the baby at 4 not to go to the pub

He's not being unreasonable. He's being a selfish bastard. Can someone else help you out? A friend, maybe?

He is BU and a dick. I hope he will be in a state to help when he gets home.

YANBU. My DH would have cancelled completely if I had been ill and stayed to look after me. Your DH is being a pillock and he's the one who needs to put on his adult underwear and accept that he is a grown up with responsibilities!

He's driving and not drinking which makes it worse! He's there for no reason other than because he wants to be and because it's been planned for ages and he's with his mates.

He's a pillock who puts his own enjoyment over his wife and child.

So...

I hope he gets your flu. If he does, make sure to go to the pub for the evening leaving him with the baby and if he complains tell him to put on his "big boy pants".

I’d suggest he doesn’t believe you’re really ill or he doesn’t care. The ‘big girl pants’ comment would absolutely give me the rage, but I guess I would also have been really disappointed to be asked to come home when I’d been looking forward to a night out.

That’s the reality of kids though, and he shouldn’t be treating you like you don’t matter.

Make sure he's the one getting up with baby in the morning and get some rest I feel for you, the days feel like weeks when you're sick and looking after children

I would be raging, you didn't plan to be Sick after all, unless you have previous for spoiling his nights out? He would be well and truly in the dog house for this.

Another one who's Dh would cancel if I was this poorly

I suppose if you asked him to come home now he would get a massive grump on and take it out on you?

Is there anyone that can help? Anyone at all?

If I could get anyone else to come and help I'd be telling him not to bother coming back at all.

My DH pulled that stunt some years ago. He has since expressed real regret about his appalling behaviour around that time. In our case we realised that the friends he was with were not friends of us as a couple.

What was your childcare plan for DS? Could you nit have kept that so you could get some rest?

I'll be honest. If DH said that to me I would probably rip his face off.

I may be a little hormonal at the moment

I would be furious at his selfishness.
And I'd be doing everything to make sure he catches your flu. Like breathing hard in his face when he's asleep. Then tell him to grow a pair and leave him with the baby.
Selfish arse

If you were looking forward to something your partner pulled a sickie wouldn't you feel aggrieved? I'd be fucking livid

What do you actually need him to do that you cant manage?

Last weekend I had food poisoning. DH was meant to be meeting pals to watch the rugby. I could barely stand in the morning let alone care for baby. Fortunately he took DS to his parents for a few hours and then came back around 2pm and then went to meet pals. I felt a bit better by that point but it was still tough looking after DS. He at no point suggesting cancelling his plans and though I would have felt bad if he had, part of me was hoping he would so I could literally just lie in bed. He then came home around 1am and I insisted the next day he take DS out for lunch. All in all, it seemed a fair compromise. If he had told me to put on 'big girl pants' I think I would have killed him!

This gives me the rage!

Two weeks I was the sickest I'd ever felt, I literally couldn't lift my head up with vomiting and my DH took care our two kids without me even asking. He did everything and I lay in bed looking like the Corpse Bride.

I didn't ask him to he just did, they are his kids and he loves them.

If he told me to "put on my big girl pants and get on with it" I'd have packed a bag and gone to my parents.

Your partner is a dick.

Make sure he knows it.

NewYear - are you the OP's partner??? She isn't "pulling a sickie", she is genuinely unwell! And she needs him to parent his child because she is understandably struggling on her own. Learn to fucking read.

The big girl pants thing alone would justify almost anything you could do in retaliation. Utter ballbag.

He’s a prick.

So what are you going to do about it OP?

Seeing as your husband is a fucking waste of skin, can you get a friend or relative round to help you?

It's horrible being poorly when you have babies. I remember it well.

He’s BU. I would have asked DH to come straight home in these circumstances, if not early. He would do it as well.

He's a cock! He's prepared to dismiss his wife and child over a fucking evening out with mates - wanker, selfish wanker!