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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he?

61 replies

SnowedIn2018 · 02/03/2018 18:31

OH had an evening at the pub planned with his work mates for a few weeks. A friends birthday. I've woken up this morning with the flu and I feel dreadful. We have a 6 month old DS. I text him at 4 when he finished and asked if he could maybe go for one or two then come home and help me? (DS is teething and incredibly grizzly and has refused two naps today so I'm running on low). He has messaged now (2 and a half hours later) to say he will be home at 9 as he has had this planned for weeks and he's enjoying himself and I need to "get my big girl pants on". I'm feeling ropey and been sick twice and I'm exhausted looking after a LO who has kept me up all night and won't settle. AIBU by being upset he hasn't come to help me or AIBU by asking him to come home and ruining his pre made plans?

OP posts:
KateGrey · 02/03/2018 19:41

What an utter prick!

MilesHuntsWig · 02/03/2018 19:41

Wtf? Did he actually reply with that? What a selfish prat.

Seriously that is so out of order and shows very little respect or even kindness towards you.

I would be fuming and make sure he knew it, was seriously contrite, made it up to me and never did it again.

Bringmewineandcake · 02/03/2018 19:44

Definitely a cock move. Think he just volunteered for solo parenting all day tomorrow so you can get some serious rest!

Original poster
SnowedIn2018 · 02/03/2018 19:54

I've gone to my mums for the evening. He is on his way home now but doesn't know I'm not there. I just need a night away. Thank you everyone x

OP posts:
SezziBaybee · 02/03/2018 19:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

ThisLittleKitty · 02/03/2018 19:57

I'm a lone parent to 4 and manage to be sick and look after my kids why do you need him there for 1 6 months old? He's only gone a few hours. I think yabu personally.

Plantlover · 02/03/2018 19:58

Wow kitty what an unkind response.

Original poster
SnowedIn2018 · 02/03/2018 19:59

@ThisLittleKitty I don't need him there, but I have asked. And the extra pair of hands means I wouldn't had to have left DS in his bouncer in the living room alone whilst I run off to be sick for 10 minutes. It's the answer to my question that has upset me the most when I've asked for his help.

OP posts:
PinkyBlunder · 02/03/2018 20:02

Have a gold plated Biscuit ThisLittleKitty

OP isn’t a single Mum and I’m sure if she wanted to be a single Mum she wouldn’t be complaining. However, whilst she has a DP he has responsibility to care for his family as much as she does and he obviously doesn’t see that and his response is just hurtful to someone he’s meant to care about. Perhaps OP should opt to be a single Mum instead because it’d be a damn site easier than co-parenting with a cockwomble like that

UserSnoozer · 02/03/2018 20:04

It's 9. Not 2 which it might've been. But I do see your point

AnotherShirtRuined · 02/03/2018 20:05

Puke on his pillow?

Not really, of course, but I would be really upset if I were you. If my partner had the flu I would be disappointed to have to cancel any plans but I wouldn't hesitate to do it to look after DCs. That's what partners do for each other, surely?

ThisLittleKitty · 02/03/2018 20:07

What would you have done if he had to work late? I'm sure you would have managed. Seems selfish to me. It's a one off for a birthday and it's only the flu. Your not dying.

Careylisa · 02/03/2018 20:08

Your medals in the post @ThisLittleKittie 🙄

ThisLittleKitty · 02/03/2018 20:09

I don't think op should opt to be a single parent if she can't cope alone for a couple of hours with a six month old.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 02/03/2018 20:11

Stop being such a fucking twat Kittie and get your head out your arse

littlepeas · 02/03/2018 20:12

Ignore obnoxious comments in this thread op - yanbu - and anyone who can say 'only the flu' has clearly never had it, or thinks flu is a bad cold, which it isn't.

NinaNoSleep · 02/03/2018 20:13

My EX H would do this.... And make plans to go out from our house, leaving me at home ill and trying to look after two kids.

Note the word EX

And he would make me go with him to visit his DM whilst sick...needing to stop the car along the way...but that's another thread!

Shoxfordian · 02/03/2018 20:14

Your husband is a knob
Does he usually look after his son much?

DeadButDelicious · 02/03/2018 20:18

"Put on your big girl pants" alone is rage inducing. Seems to me like he needs to put on HIS big boy pants and realise that he has a child and that means he can't swan off to the pub, no matter how far in advance it was planned, if his wife is ill and his kid needs looking after. What a prick!

Icomehereseekingpeas · 02/03/2018 20:33

Wow @ThisLittleKitty you sound bitter about your life Shock like you want op to be as miserable as you are!!! "Only the flu"? Are you fucking kidding????

I had flu last weekend which meant I spent Friday night through to Monday night in bed barely able to move also with a dodgy stomach to boot. I would have been fucked if not for my ex and my parents helping me out with my young children.

Op yanbu at all. Ignore the bitter responses on here, some people clearly lack empathy. And I don't blame you for going to your mums. It's what I would have done and did do in same circs.

MilesHuntsWig · 02/03/2018 20:37

Hope you get a rest and are on the mend soon OP

abbsisspartacus · 02/03/2018 20:41

If he asks where you are tell him you packed up your big girl pants and went to a supportive adult

LoveSchoolHolidays · 02/03/2018 20:42

Poor you OP, get well soon 💐

LouHotel · 02/03/2018 20:47

Hope your resting now OP.

Your DH is acting like a twunt of the highest order.

GrannyGrissle · 02/03/2018 22:11

Yet another total cunt of a 'D' H. Sleep all day tomorrow OP.

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