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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think if we're invited to a wedding where...?

101 replies

BillySmut56 · 02/03/2018 14:10

The couple were 22 and 27.

The couple were 50 and 55.

What's the youngest/oldest couple you've ever know to marry?

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 02/03/2018 14:56

We got married at 48 (me) and 55(DH), second time round for us both. We've had our ups and downs but are still married 16 years on. Who's to say what is, or is not, the right age to get married.

Willow2017 · 02/03/2018 14:56

Dammit phone too sensitive...posted by accident

Would you expect them to stay with someone who made them miserable forever then?

Notasunnybunny · 02/03/2018 14:59

22 is young ish to marry but it very much depends on the individual and their expectations. I would only pass comment if it was the 22 year old who had been married before. Nothing unusual at a 50yr old on a second marriage, to be on your 2nd marriage at 22 suggests not taking the whole thing very seriously and being more about ‘the party’

Mrsmadevans · 02/03/2018 15:00

I wouldn't think anything was wrong with either marriage tbh, sadly it is anyone's guess whether they will stay together!

Knittedfairies · 02/03/2018 15:01

A starter marriage? I was 21 and still here.

My only thoughts on being invited to both weddings would be to wonder if I could get away with the same outfit and coming to the conclusion probably not..

TatianaLarina · 02/03/2018 15:04

My godfather got married at 78, wife same age.

InaConfusedState · 02/03/2018 15:04

The way you framed it seemed to be about age differences.

Actually you’re asking what people think f a woman marrying in her early 20s and another woman marrying in her 50s.

I’d think how nice to go to two weddings, wouldn’t think either too young or old.

Havetonamechangeforthisone · 02/03/2018 15:07

What a strange question.

What did YOU think, OP? think there is something strange about the ages, but for the life of me, I can't work out what it is!

Garmadonsmum · 02/03/2018 15:07

I know w, kniitedfairies, my own parents did too - it sounds rude to say that but I would suspect it wouldn't last long. Possibly because I myself changed so much between being 20 something and 30 something, I can't imagine the man in was with at 22 being one I'd want at 42.

TSSDNCOP · 02/03/2018 15:07

Yay wedding! And reach for my iPad to order an outfit.

dejectedharry · 02/03/2018 15:08

My best friend married at 23 to a 52 year old. I accepted this because I love my friend, our other friends, however, were awful! Everybody had an opinion and the majority were not nice! She had comments from you’re too young to get married, he will die soon(ridiculous). He had why do you want to get married again when you’ve already had the marriage and 4 kids, you're old now, and you will ruin a young girls life from some of his friends.

I felt sad for her that people didn’t respect her choice. Even sadder is the fact that people still look down on them now and they have lost many friends because of this.

I do worry about her at times, he has said some things that make me feel uneasy. But at the end of the day, it’s her choice, I will be there for her no matter what!

Just stand by them OP they only need a handful of people to support them and make them feel better in the run-up to their big day.

bigfatbuddha · 02/03/2018 15:08

I'd question the marriage if one was 80+ and the other early twenties and called Anna Nicole Smith. And even in that case I think they might have made each other happy in the way that was wanted, just not my cup of tea.

In other cases I'm happy for the couple unless I suspect an abusive relationship.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 02/03/2018 15:09

Oh god, I still don’t know the question

BitOutOfPractice · 02/03/2018 15:09

If they have made vows before and broke them by divorce

Crikey YellowMakesMeSmile I reckon the 1950s probably want you back by now, they'll be wondering where you've got to!

Havetonamechangeforthisone · 02/03/2018 15:09

sorry - just read your previous posts, OP. Can't believe they are both receiving negative comments! How very bizarre of people...

noeffingidea · 02/03/2018 15:10

Wouldn't think anything about either of them. I'm older, so know quite a lot of people that were married as teenagers, and some of them are still married to each other. My parents were 22 and 25 when they married, totally normal.
Would maybe assume that the older couple was a second marriage, but that is less likely to be true nowadays, when more people live together long term.

Afternoon · 02/03/2018 15:10

I wouldn't think twice about their ages.

iBiscuit · 02/03/2018 15:13

To be brutally honest, and this is despite knowing a few couples who are still together 20+ years later, I'd be a bit Hmm about someone getting married at 22. I would absolutely wish them well though, and wouldn't voice my opinion.

MrsHathaway funnily enough I thought the exact opposite re children; a couple in their fifties are more likely to have left small-child raising behind them, and be more inclined to have an adult-focussed do. But this is based purely on my own preferences - I think at 20-odd I'd have loved lots of children at a wedding. Decades later their novelty has worn off Grin

Spindelina · 02/03/2018 15:13

In my early thirties, I went to the wedding of a couple both aged 21. I remember finding it noteworthy that it was the first time I’d been closer in age to the parents of the groom than to the couple getting married.

liz70 · 02/03/2018 15:15

My mum was 20 when she married my dad, who was 25. They celebrated their Golden anniversary last year.
My DH's auntie was 59 when she married, her husband 63. Both still happily married too.
I don't think there's anything unusual about the ages in the OP.

mumofmunchkin · 02/03/2018 15:16

Meh. My parents got married at 22 and 24 and are still happily married in their 60's, with four adult children and five grandchildren. I got married a week before I turned 25, and have other friends who got married in their mid-20s. When I was in primary school, one of our teachers met someone when she was in her late 40's/early 50's and got married, it was lovely. I don't think either is weird, provided all parties know what they are doing.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/03/2018 15:17

My thoughts would be based on the actual people involved and not on their ages, without any background.

My overiding thought would be ‘Shit, need to find two wedding outfits. Fuck’.

SummerRoberts · 02/03/2018 15:18

The only things I'd think about people of this ages marrying would be "oh lovely, I love a good wedding" and then maybe what do I wear and what shall I get them as a gift?
None of those ages are unusual to get married.

BackforGood · 02/03/2018 15:20

Like others, I'd just be thinking 'Oh, how lovely to be invited, I'll put it in my diary'.

I think you are looking for controversy when there isn't any, OP

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 02/03/2018 15:22

I was married at 21! Didn't feel too young at all cause we'd been together since I was 16. Still together and I've just turned 37.....