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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think if we're invited to a wedding where...?

101 replies

BillySmut56 · 02/03/2018 14:10

The couple were 22 and 27.

The couple were 50 and 55.

What's the youngest/oldest couple you've ever know to marry?

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 02/03/2018 14:21

What on earth are you on about OP? We need more info I think.

LagunaBubbles · 02/03/2018 14:21

Why would you think anything at all? Am I missing something about a couple in their 20s and also 50s getting married now? Confused

OakIsBetterTho · 02/03/2018 14:21

'Oh good, I love a wedding!'

Why is this even a question? 😂

Thistlebelle · 02/03/2018 14:24

I can only presume you’ve started this thread because you think the first couple are terribly young and the second couple are terribly old.

If so you’re wrong in both cases.

Original poster
BillySmut56 · 02/03/2018 14:24

Oh goodness. That largely turned into gibberish, it posted before I was ready, and typos all over the shop.

Right. Try again. Would you have any opinion if you were invited to a wedding or knew a couple who were marrying at either of those ages. I ask because I have two family members this year who are marrying, one and her DP are the first ages, and the other and her DP are the second ages.

I'm equally delighted for both of them. BUT, it seems that not everyone is, and they appear to be both getting judged for different reasons. I was surprised at some of the comments that have been made, e.g., 'she's too young, it'll be a disaster', or 'she's been married before and that didn't work so why bother again', and just wondered what the general consensus is.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 02/03/2018 14:27

With friends like those, etc.

A friend of ours got married whilst pg. When I rsvped yes to the wedding, she replied saying she was worried people would disapprove/boycott because of the bump and it took quite a lot of persuading to undo the nonsense she'd heard from family members flapping their mouths Angry

Do be explicit about how happy you are for them, in case those sniping are doing so in their earshot!

Original poster
BillySmut56 · 02/03/2018 14:28

It seems that largely all you agree with me that both weddings are a non issue. I tried to frame the question without background info so as not to bias the answers, but that went a bit haywire.

They've both had so many comments, to their faces and behind their backs, but probably more so to the younger woman.

OP posts:
Notagainmun · 02/03/2018 14:30

I married at 19 and DH was 23. We have been married, very happily, for nearly thirty years. So I would be happy for the couple as well ax the colder couple.

Passportto · 02/03/2018 14:30

The first couple are roughly the age we were and my parents were, I can't see anything worthy of comment there.

The second couple are the age I am now and I have been to several of those weddings, delighted for all of them to be having a second chance.

Jaxhog · 02/03/2018 14:33

Wedding are good at any age. My sis is getting married this year and she'll be 62! I couldn't be more thrilled.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/03/2018 14:35

I wouldn't think either of those age groups were remarkable.

Some people are just horrible aren't they? Upsetting people in the run up to their big day.

Tell 'em a complete stranger on the internet wishes them all every happiness

Jaxhog · 02/03/2018 14:35

PS. I was married at 22 and am still happily married.

TotHappy · 02/03/2018 14:36

I got married at 20, immediately after my A levels.
People seemed to think it was really young. I remember in particular one of my teachers being shocked when I told him and talking very seriously to me about how there was no rush, and I should take time to enjoy myself etc. Obviously he thought it would be a disaster. Fucking rude really to assume you're just rushing in blindly and don't know your own mind. And goodness knows what people were saying behind my back.

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/03/2018 14:37

In general I think under 25 is on the young side to get married and an age gap of nearly a quarter of one’s life is on the high side BUT every individual is different and generalizations should not be blanket applied to individual cases.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 02/03/2018 14:38

I think 22 is too young for marriage so would worry for them.

The second couple would depend on other factors, if neither married before it's lovely and romantic. If they have made vows before and broke them by divorce then a second marriage is a little Hmm regardless of age. It makes a mockery of the vows.

Makingworkwork · 02/03/2018 14:39

I would think is it a child free wedding I have to travel to? Will the B and G if said child free wedinn get arsey when only DH or I can attend because one of us has to staff at home and look after DD.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 02/03/2018 14:39

I don't think 22 is too young to get married. Why is ok to live with someone at 22 but not to be married to them? I don't get it

Passportto · 02/03/2018 14:39

the most smitten couple I know have just turned 50 and married at 19. I'd still be concerned if anyone close to me was about to do it. I wouldn't dream of saying it to anyone but my own children though.

Mamadothehump · 02/03/2018 14:40

DH and I were younger than the 1st couple with a 5 year age gap when we got married. 16 years and 3 kids later, still going strong. If anyone had any negative opinions about this, I certainly didn't get wind of it!!

fusushumi · 02/03/2018 14:41

I have 3 DDs and confess I would have been concerned if any of them had married as young as 22 (they're all older than that now) whilst understanding completely that it is an entirely acceptable age to get married. I was 28 when I got married myself and I think this plays a huge part in our perceptions of what is "too young" or "too old"

onalongsabbatical · 02/03/2018 14:41

Not sure about the youngest, but the oldest couple I knew to get married were 87 and 97. That was in 2010 and he's since died, but she's still alive. She is an absolute sweetie. Honestly, I think she'd do it again if she met the right man... www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-10768880

yougetwhatyougive · 02/03/2018 14:43

I married at 23, still going strong.

BestZebbie · 02/03/2018 14:46

I'd assume that the couple in their 50s had been married before and were divorced or widowed, simply because it is unusual to find two people who are unmarried for that long and then at that point decide that they do want a marriage.
Other than that I'd think nothing of either pairing. 22 isn't that young.

Garmadonsmum · 02/03/2018 14:54

I would think the 22 year old was having their starter marriage, sorry. But that's because no one I know gets married at that age.

Willow2017 · 02/03/2018 14:55

yellow
Wow judgy much?
Maybe they are widow/widower?
Maybe their ex partners did the dirty on them?
Maybe they were abusive?
Maybe it just didnt work out for them.

No reason why they cant fall in love with someone else and it works.

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