to say dd needs to stay at school

[Wishfulmakeupping]

foundation class trip walking to the local shops, teachers not told me just heard from another parent who has been asked to help get them there. they have to cross a known busy road - no traffic lights there.
its a big class of 32, I don't feel comfortable I think I'm going to say they'll have to leave her behind - aibu?

They will have a staff/helper to pupil ratio to abide to, probably 1:4, so if you say your dd can't go, you risk denying three other children the opportunity, as someone will have to stay behind with her.
Also, they will almost certainly all be wearing reflective jackets, so very visible. The children in our town go out walking like a giant caterpillar, all linking hands with adults in between supervising.
There is no higher risk of an accident occurring from her joining this walk than staying in the classroom.

Children are often 'excitable' - snow, wind, being out of school, dressing-up tomorrow, ice cream for pudding.. Teachers and TAs will not take children out of school without risk assessment. It is much easier to keep children in a classroom!
What issues need resolving?

Pengggwn are you a teacher? Risk assessments show the plans to reduce the risk. Obviously risk can never be eliminated but there’s no reason why a road can’t be crossed safely by a group of children with responsible adults under normal circumstances.

I'm not convinced it will be helpful to get her settle and make friends by excluding her from a class trip.

However, if your areas has snow I am slightly surprised they will be doing a walking trip. If parents at are old primary are anything to go by, half will be sent in without appropriate footwear and warm coats.

Of course you are unreasonable, you must know that. How do you think your daughter will feel when she cant go on the fun walk with her friends.

I would suggest instead of meeting with the school you arrange some help for your anxiety.

Your DD is on the beginning of her journey to become an independent, happy and confident person. Do you really want to be the reason this doesnt happen?

I think you are being very unreasonable
I work in a nursery and we take our children out all the time
And we don't have 1-2 ratio either
Our children always behave, we wouldn't take them out if we couldn't control their behaviour

We take them out walking at 2 years old
I think its a real shame other children don't get the same experiences

the meeting tomo is about that shes not settled and upset on a daily basis about going to school and constantly being alone at play times

None of that has any relevance to whether staff can get the children safely off the road.

Have you considered that excluding your child from a whole class trip will likely make isolation even worse? She’ll be buddied up with someone for the walk which could well lead to a new friendship.

Sorry to heart your dd is not settling, it can take time. The teacher will hopefully have some strategies.
That sort of thing is anxiety inducing, and might be affecting how you feel about then going out. But they are professionals, they will be well aware of any unpredictable kids, and will have enough adults with firm hand holds on them.

She's finding it tough and you want to single her out as the only one not to go for a walk? YADBU

constantly being alone at play times

Stopping her from going along on this excursion isn't going to help her fit in .

To be honest you being over anxious will probably be worse for her in terms of settling in

If she's unsettled, upset and alone at play time, how do you think excluding her from a class activity is going to help the situation? Surely you want her to feel as normal as possible? It's an opportunity to make friends.

The school will have risk-assessed the hell out of it. They will have extra adults to ensure that their ratios for a trip are correct and the adults will be trained. They also probably do the same trip every year. It's really no more dangerous (and probably less so actually) than you doing the same thing.
If you're concerned can you get the time off work and volunteer to come? The staff will always appreciate an extra adult.

It's a trip down the road to the local shops?! How do some people get through the day...

I'm with you OP. I'd be worried about my daughter on a walk like this crossing a busy road. My daughter is 4 and did a similar walk last year and it was through woods but I found out later they crossed a road. Yes I'm an anxious parent but seems alot in this weather with the children so young. I didn't stop my daughter going but was nervous at home the whole day. Maybe I read the news too much as there are always so many horror stories and there's no reason it wouldn't be me or my loved ones in the paper because of a tragedy. I am jealous of those that see no issue as the worry achieves nothing. Would be lovely to view it as having no risk at all.

PurpleDaisies

I know what a risk assessment is. I'm saying the obsession with 'seeing the risk assessment' for the most mundane activities where the risks are perfectly obvious to anyone with the IQ of a red squirrel is weird.

I tihnk I posted on your other thread - I will say what I said then you are worrying far too much. All reception children struggle with lunch and most will be alone at some point in the day.

With this trip it sounds perfectly normal - when DS was in preschool they took them on trains and buses and always had the correct ratios

The only thing that does sound slightly off is that you have not had to sign anything to say that you give permission. For my school I would expect a letter setting out exactly what the trip was and asking for parent helpers.

For crossing roads usually on these trips 2 adults stand in the road to stop traffic (who are normally very good) and the children cross the road)

PlanNumber

I know what one is. I know why it is done. I just don't understand why anyone would want to look at a risk assessment for children crossing a road.

OP when my DD did this (my second DC by the way) I drove around the village to see if I could spot her because I was so worried they might leave her behind at some point, or something . . .

I expect the next time they did the trip they had to put something like "risk of children being run over my neurotic mothers kerb crawling."

In my defence I was pregnant but I was just as bad with DC3 and he was my last.

Personally, I'd trust that the school had considered the risks and had plans to manage them, but as OP doesn't, seeing the RA would tell her what they plan to do to prevent catastrophe they will think her very odd though and-- it wasn't my suggestion that she asks to see it.

I think you may need to address your anxiety, it sounds excessive. Then support your DD with her settling issues from a position of strength and stop worrying about trivial things.

PlanNumber

I wasn't saying it was. I agree they will think she's as nutty as squirrel poo obsesses about squirrels

Wishfulmakeupping
the meeting tomo is about that shes not settled and upset on a daily basis about going to school and constantly being alone at play times

So you want her to be more included in the group...... whilst excluding her from the group?!? That makes sense.

I don't think you are overreacting to be a little wary or nervous about it. I've had the "pleasure" of watching a class in action doing a walk across several roads to a local library. Experienced TAs and teachers etc but that still didn't stop a little boy bolting ahead out into the road and the TA just looking at him like some sort of idiot. Or a different school trip with parent helpers where I came across a child alone who was meant to be with one of the other parents. I herded him back but what if I hadn't been passing with my group?

I think people are very naive to not realise some of the parent helpers (and some of the TAs and teachers too!) aren't always on the ball. They are only people after all.