To remind people that some of their comments can be hurtful

[Birdscape]

I have named changed for this. Basically because I was flamed the other day by a few people for no real valid reason. A few years ago I might have been really bothered by this but now it is water off a duck's back. Can I just remind people giving advice (or criticising the OP) that you don't know their mental state and whether they will take things to heart? Some of the comments on here a completely uncalled for and are in fact cruel

I have name changed for this as I’ve just been flamed alive on a thread where I was just asking for some opinions. Of course I wanted an honest response but there was so much mud slinging it was really upsetting.
It’s completely unnecessary and very hurtful and i say this as someone with a strong personality and resilient outlook.
It’s a shame because as OP says there’s so much wisdom but how can you even see it when you are being treated as bait?

Thank goodness for you op!

I was so tempted to start a thread about this myself this morning, and I’m delighted that I’m not the only one who feels like this.

I have really taken a kick in from several posters over the last few days who were replying to me, or making reference to me in their posts. I wasn’t the op on either of the threads, just a fellow poster, but some people just seem to go out of their way to be incredibly nasty and judgmental.

On one thread, I was accused of ‘talking nonsense’ and of being a liar because I didn’t like a city in a very popular country. Some posters just couldn’t accept my opinion, and that I had experienced and witnessed some criminal and frightening behaviour in that city. I received replies from posters, and others were referring to me in their posts in a piss-taking way.

On another thread, I admit that I may have got a bit carried away with my opinion, but I was just being honest. I received so many extremely nasty and incredibly judgmental replies, as well as having several posters referring to me in disgusting terms. It was said outright that I must have mental health problems, that I am a seeker of male attention and think that all other women are and that I apparently think that makes it ok if men attack them, that I enjoy receiving sexual harassment, that they hope my DD doesn’t grow up to be like me, that I have 1930’s beliefs, and that my DH, my friends and I are people that are to be avoided.

There were many more disgusting comments, too many to write here in fact. This type of aggressive and bullying behaviour made me defend myself, and reveal further personal information in order to try and make people realise that I’m only human. I found myself revealing details of having been sexually harassed as a teenager and how funnily enough I didn’t enjoy it, but felt terrified, to try and make the awful comments stop. I even wrote a post telling everyone that I will never stop being honest, and that I will not be reading any more of their comments or replies. People were just being so spiteful and childish. I’m sure that in writing that post it probably made these bullies laugh, and no doubt they continued to make vile comments about me and assumptions about my mental state.

Some posters are incredibly childish (an insult to children really), and need to think about what they’re saying and implying. I am of sane mind, contrary to the views of those who hanged up on me, but have suffered from depression in the past. You never know what a poster is going through - we are all perfect strangers.

I only reply to, or refer to other posters on a thread to try and be helpful or to make a joke, I’d never do it to be deliberately offensive. I don’t know why people can’t just accept other people’s opinions and agree to disagree.

I agree, MN is VERY hostile in recent years.

I agree with most of this - there certainly are many posters that post unnecessary, cruel comments - but much depends on the state of mind of the OP. What one person finds bullying or upsetting, another person may not.

Argeles I did happen to see at least part of the city thread and your comments there, and I didn’t really interpret anything as an attack on you. Your experience was questioned, yes, but only because it seemed outside the norm.

I think people who post cruel comments are sad individuals. My favourite are the rich benefit bashers.

I have been the subject of much criticism on here but try to remember: you only post a snapshot of your life, noone knows you or your situation.

The cruel ones are like vultures circling ...ready for more prey to relieve their boredom!

Also the ones who criticise spelling and grammar....oh do bugger off...snobs!

The worst is when you start a topic asking for advice about your own dc. And eventually what happens is your dc is being insulted and being called alsorts. Brat etc.

Sickening. The lows people go to for thier kicks.

What really gets on my nerves are the ones who jump on the bandwagon. This whole place reminds me of school and not really in a good way.
There are a whole lot of clever clogs, probably would have been quite uncool IRL but the internet is good for them as they don’t need cool clothes.
They have “their gang”who just love to come on at the end of a thread when they know which way the wind is blowing.