His mum teaching me to cook

[user1490465531]

If you were dating someone who said they would get their mum to teach you how to cook would you take offence at this or see it as a jokey comment.
Know it's a random comment just don't know how to take it.

His mum can teach him to cook

Id be put off by the comment, especially if it was only me being taught. If it were a couples thing and his mum teaching, that be ok. But it seems he more wants you trained to be his mum

Tell him his Mum can teach him how to cook.
And check how many times he says "My Mum says/thinks/does etc." ... If it's too often, dump him before you get serious.
Trust me. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Would never want a Mummy's boy ever again.

Is he Greek by any chance? My MIL taught me how to cook, but I asked her to teach me how to perfect Greek dishes and it just spiralled from there. I was never very good at cooking but loved doing it. My DH is a brilliant, his mum taught him. Then again his brother is bloody awful and I am wondering if maybe you’re his girlfriend

I'd be quite pleased tbh! I can't cook at all and I wish I could

No-one ever taught me as my Mum can't cook either so we always ate freezer food and whenever I try to cook from a recipe it ends up tasting disgusting

If you don't want to though, just tell him thanks but no thanks

Ask him and tell him your concerns. His answers will tell you a lot. In other words communicate your expectations of a relationship before you get in deep.

I learned to cook from my mil... German cooking. I asked as I like the food and I like cooking. My choice. Do stuff you want too!

Agreed I'd have asked him something like "should your mum not teach you first?".

I know two wives who moved in with their MILs for a number of months after their weddings, and were quite happy to do so.
I went for a meal at one of their houses recently and it was her DH who did two of the three courses so I don't detect sexism, just the way it is in their culture.

How old are you and how old is he?

Is it the cuisine of his country or cooking in general?

DD is 17 and a very competent cook.

we are both late 30s

well he's younger by a couple of years I'm late 30s

Can’t see why people think men living near their parents ans going to their house is weird or ‘mummys boy.’ Wouldn’t think twice if it was a woman that lived near her parents!
Also I agree with others. Depends on context of when/how he said it to you and in regards to what

Me too lollypop. My mil showed me schnitzel, roulade and raclette. But that's easy

Wouldn’t think twice if it was a woman that lived near her parents!

Actually I would - especially at that age

Wouldn’t think twice if it was a woman that lived near her parents!

Where she lives is irrelevant. If the woman ate her dinner at her mum's every night in her 30s I would think the same as I would about a man doing this.

"Where she lives is irrelevant. If the woman ate her dinner at her mum's every night in her 30s I would think the same as I would about a man doing this."

Same here. I moved into a flat above my parents at 19, but was very independent.

Can you cook OP, or is he wanting you to cook the way his mum does?

Thinking about it he mentions his mum in every conversation we have.
Why is it so hard to find normal men in there 30s.

Has he been in a long term relationship before? I must admit that I would probably want to avoid someone who had reached their late 30s without being mature enough to have enjoyed a long term relationship or two (and who is still being mummied).

he's had one long term they were engaged.
I believe he looks out for his mum a lot as his dad left and she bought them all up so maybe I'm being mean calling him a mummy's boy.

Give it a try, what have you got to lose? My MIL taught me to cook some national dishes, I learned her language in the process. She taught me all sorts of things (not just food to please her son) because she liked cooking and enjoyed sharing it with others. Perhaps your boyfriend is looking for things for his Mum to do? Nothing wrong with him looking out for her - I couldn’t stand a man that wasn’t nice to his Mum.

what have you got to lose?

You have got to lose the bf.

DH bought me an Irish recipe cookbook last Mothers Day and I connected the dots to his Irish mother but after 18 years of marriage I just laughed at him and pointed out that he already cooks those dishes so I think he was trying to get out of cooking

I think the test would be to suggest his mum teaches him to cook some dishes he likes- so he can do them on the days it’s his turn to cook. And see what he says.

Lives in the same road as his mum and going round there every evening for his tea is a red flag for me.

It would be one thing of he were broke and had to live at home, but he had the opportunity to spread his wings and be independent and instead tied himself back on to her apron strings. He'll probably get her input into every argument you have, allow her to override your opinions on parenting any kids you had etc. He probably wants mummy+sex.

I'd run.

I also think it would be very interesting to know why the engagement broke up