to find this 'Mother's Day' song offensive?

[applesauce1]

I'm a teacher. In assembly this week, the children have been learning to sing the following song:

The lyrics just really piss me off. I understand that traditionally, Mums have been responsible for these jobs, and this song is a traditional song thanking mums for that, but for god's sake, it's just so patronising.

I'd like to thank my mum for being a brilliant role model, for showing me how women can work hard at their jobs and rise through the ranks, for being fun and making me laugh, for showing me that women can do DIY. For showing me how to express my emotions and how to communicate.

The line "without a fuss" bothers me so much. My husband and I balance the roles of the house because we both work full time and when we have children, they will grow up knowing that it is not a woman's inherited responsibility to be a household slave without making a fuss, but that team work makes the dream work.

Anyway, here's the song (attached as an image). If your children sang this to you at school at a mother's day event, how would you feel about it?

Probably not the most coherent post I've ever written as I'm finding 5 minutes to drink a coffee before my class come back!

I'm pretty sure that my DH would be pissed off if the kids sang that! I do the bulk of the housework because I work half the hours in my paid job but he cooks, cleans and does childcare; as he should!

Oh and I have a degree but some of the homework my dd brings home, is beyond me thank god for google

I think you should come up with alternative lyrics.

But then I am not a melting snowflake that gets offended because it is trendy.

Do unpick your logic, and your metaphor. Both are a bit mixed up.

My radical feminist daughter would have organised a school protest and boycotted the song, if any of her primary school teachers had been stupid enough to inflict that song on her and her classmates!
I’m gobsmacked that anyone thinks it’s appropriate for a Mothering Sunday celebration. Just shows, we can take nothing for granted - we must keep fighting the same weary battles on insidious sexism for every generation.
I also think it’s thoughtless and unkind to all the kids with dysfunctional mothers who neglect and abuse them. Are they compelled to sing this shit too?

It's trendy to realise that all women don't stay at home and do housework all day? Wow, I have been extremely trendy for years without realising it

Pick your battles
This is exactly the right battle to pick. If we can stop this ‘women do all the housework’ bullshittery when children are young then we might stand a chance of boys and girls growing up to understand that this kind of stuff is a shared task.

Simon I agree, this is absolutely the right battle to pick.

Surely a five minute pointed conversation with the Head would make it clear that this is a poor choice.

I’m surprised none of the children have complained about it (to teachers or parents) mine would have.

"My radical feminist daughter would have organised a school protest and boycotted the song"

How old is she?

Tory? Labour? Keynesian or classical economic theories or just parroting her mother?

"I also think it’s thoughtless and unkind to all the kids with dysfunctional mothers"

Really? Ban Mothering Sunday or songs praising mothers because not all mothers are good? Ban father's day because some children don't know their fathers? Ban birthday celebrations as some adopted children may not know their birthdate?

I have an awful sinking feeling that you're serious.

My radical feminist daughter would have organised a school protest and boycotted the song

I wish she was in my class

A lot of kids will happily sing this song and not give it a second thought.

Not sure what's offensive about it to be honest?

upside "It doesnt actually suggest that those things are soley the mothers repsonability though does it?"

I think it does. It says she does ALL the washing and shopping etc.

I don't think it's offensive, it's casual sexism, reinforcing already existing stereotypes on what Mothers do.

If my son (8) came home singing this I'd say that yes, in my home I do indeed do all the washing etc, but when he's with his Dad he does all the washing and shopping. And maybe I could explain how in earlier generations it was more conventional for the Mother to stay home.

My older son (18) would read the song and know exactly how I felt about it, which to me is my job done as far as raising my sons not to regard housework as women's work.

I clicked onto the thread thinking it would be 'Motherlover'

The school assembly song obviously wasn't written in 2018. It just celebrates all the basic child rearing stuff most mothers identify with, whether they work or stay at home. I think differentiating between traditional/rad fem/sahm/school leaver/academic mothers would be more controversial, personally. I mean, I do housework, even though that's not all I do. But I do do it and yes it's nice to recognise I should put my feet up!

Urgh that song is terrible on so many levels.

Stereotyping mums? Check.
Disregarding dads who may do some or all of that in the home? Check.
Not accounting for the fact that it's fairly rare to have a nuclear, traditional setup in some social circles?
Lazy? Check.

It's like something from the 1950s!

I would challenge it, and I'm Normally a fairly quiet type. That's going too far though, by quite a lot.

I think people just look to be offended.

CadyHeron I've got better things to do than "look to be offended", but when a school in 2018 is talking about women as though it's 1957, then I have no choice but to be offended, because it is offensive.

But please do carry on with your head in the sand. If everyone thought and reacted like you, things would never change.

If my children had have had to learn this I would not have allowed them to take part in assembly. Surely a better poem could have been chosen or children collaborate to write a more appropriate poem.

I hate this song, hate, hate, hate it. It is so derogatory and unaspirational. I complain to the dc’s headteacher every year, and every year I get “but the children like it”. Well stop signing it, and on a few years time none of them will know it.

I am extremely pleased that this year my DC’s school is not having a Mother’s Day Assembly for various reasons.

It IS offensive to think young kids are being thoughtlessly presented with this outdated view of mums.

Of course they couldn’t possibly have a degree and spend all their time doing the housework - bless their dainty little hearts.

I can't get offended by it no. Not even slightly.

If I was my DH I'd be royally passed off cos he does at least the same, if not more of the "wimmins work" than me

"I am extremely pleased that this year my DC’s school is not having a Mother’s Day Assembly for various reasons."

The teachers thought 'fuck 'em' when they couldn't take any more whining mothers complaining about "unaspirational" songs Yeah! You showed those teachers!

"Of course they couldn’t possibly have a degree and spend all their time doing the housework"

I blame Labour for making people think a degree is necessary for so many roles meaning it could no longer be funded by the state. Getting a degree to spend all your time doing housework is hardly the sign of an astute mind.

Is be tempted to write my own words.

Is be tempted to write my own words.

Good luck with that!

So come Fathers’ Day, they’ll sing the same song and just swap out Mum for Dad, yeah?

Getting a degree to spend all your time doing housework is hardly the sign of an astute mind.

Or perhaps the person with the degree is the one who is best suited to being a stay at home parent? It’s what works for their family at that time.