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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this 'Mother's Day' song offensive?

114 replies

applesauce1 · 28/02/2018 13:21

I'm a teacher. In assembly this week, the children have been learning to sing the following song:

The lyrics just really piss me off. I understand that traditionally, Mums have been responsible for these jobs, and this song is a traditional song thanking mums for that, but for god's sake, it's just so patronising.

I'd like to thank my mum for being a brilliant role model, for showing me how women can work hard at their jobs and rise through the ranks, for being fun and making me laugh, for showing me that women can do DIY. For showing me how to express my emotions and how to communicate.

The line "without a fuss" bothers me so much. My husband and I balance the roles of the house because we both work full time and when we have children, they will grow up knowing that it is not a woman's inherited responsibility to be a household slave without making a fuss, but that team work makes the dream work.

Anyway, here's the song (attached as an image). If your children sang this to you at school at a mother's day event, how would you feel about it?

Probably not the most coherent post I've ever written as I'm finding 5 minutes to drink a coffee before my class come back!

to find this 'Mother's Day' song offensive?
OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 28/02/2018 13:53

Our school used to get the kids to sing the “she may not have a degree” one. I spoke to HT and he assured me it would never be sung again.

Amazed that two or three female teachers that were organising the assembly thought it was an appropriate song - when presumably they have degrees! Confused

upsideup · 28/02/2018 13:53

It doesnt actually suggest that those things are soley the mothers repsonability though does it?
I think the whole idea of celebrating mothers and fathers is shit anyway but if your going to have a day celebrating one when then you are going to focus on the things she does. Me and Dh both wash, clean, cook and care for our children but if they are singing a song to celebrate me then why would they mention all the things DH does? they could do that on fathers day.
It would be like me writing a birthday card to one of my DC and making sure i mentioned all my other DC as much as them.
I think people just enjoy being offended.

MayFayner · 28/02/2018 13:53

I'm not surprised she's stressed and shouty.

Jesus.

FrogsAreMean · 28/02/2018 13:54

Bloody hell - "truly horrific" "appalling" - it's a fucking song sang once a year at a kiddie's assembly.

If you are confidant in your own parenting abilities I very much doubt a few verses once a year isn't going to impact your daughter's life in any way.

FrogsAreMean · 28/02/2018 13:54

Oops

"..once a year IS going to impact..."

upsideup · 28/02/2018 13:55

she may not have a degree

Why is that offensive? She may not have a degree. She may have one but she may not.

MayFayner · 28/02/2018 13:57

That's not what it means upsideup

Grin Grin

That would be "she may have a degree".

anxious2017 · 28/02/2018 13:57

I'm a teacher and there's no way my class would be singing this. I really don't think she'd allow it anyway, but if she did I'd be making a strong case against it!

IpreferFrieda · 28/02/2018 14:01

Good god I never make a fuss but this is insane.

Ours used to sing a song called ‘thankyou for my mum’ it was lovely.

As for the no degree one wtaf!!

breakfastBus · 28/02/2018 14:01

What's the problem?

Suggesting that not all parents have degrees but they can still help with homework?

moofolk · 28/02/2018 14:02

Wow. Do you have to get a bus to the 1950s or can you drive? I assume that's where your school is, one hell of a commute!

Have you raised this with the head or whoever decides these things?

What about kids with mums who can't or don't do these things?

Kittypillar · 28/02/2018 14:05

I just don't have enough eye-rolling capability for this song. Jeez. Hmm

PuppyMonkey · 28/02/2018 14:09

It’s not suggesting parents may or may not have a degree, it’s stating that despite mum not having a degree she still helps with the homework FFS.

pancakesunday · 28/02/2018 14:09

Its a song. Maybe dated but surely it's three sentiment that matters

FleetwoodSmack · 28/02/2018 14:10

It is old fashioned but there are many mums who do all of these things, split families, single parents, SAHMs. It’s not a negative to look after them this way?

It's reductive. It reduces motherhood to a set of domestic chores, and disseminates to young children that this is the key element of what mothers do. And in leaving out mothers as providers a crucial parental role it makes women's participation in the workplace invisible.

but if your going to have a day celebrating one when then you are going to focus on the things she does. Me and Dh both wash, clean, cook and care for our children but if they are singing a song to celebrate me then why would they mention all the things DH does? they could do that on fathers day.

Not following your logic here, unless you are suggesting that a Father's Day song taught to children for a school assembly is likely to involve children gaily carolling about Daddy only in terms of him cooking and cleaning and doing the washing and ironing. Which I think is deeply unlikely.

FleetwoodSmack · 28/02/2018 14:14

surely it's three sentiment that matters

It's the sentiment people are objecting to.

spiderlight · 28/02/2018 14:14

^My mum's one in a million
She may not have a degree
But she can help with my homework
and that's what matters to me^

My DS would have a field day if they tried to get him to sing that! I can just hear him now belting out over the rest of the class "My mum's one in a million; She has a PhD" Grin

sallyandherarmy · 28/02/2018 14:18

Not offended by it at all.

But then I am not a melting snowflake that gets offended because it is trendy.

ILoveDolly · 28/02/2018 14:18

It would be fine if the housework theme was accompanied by other verses saying Mum was great because she went out to work to earn money, mum was great because she worked hard on the garden etc etc. The problem is not the song per se but because it is only about celebrating mothers in their domestic role which is both reductive and nonsense.

Chienrouge · 28/02/2018 14:19

but if your going to have a day celebrating one when then you are going to focus on the things she does. Me and Dh both wash, clean, cook and care for our children but if they are singing a song to celebrate me then why would they mention all the things DH does? they could do that on fathers day

But I don’t do some of those things (I don’t cook for example).

thegreatbeyond · 28/02/2018 14:20

I haven't got a degree. I've got two. Bitch :)

Chienrouge · 28/02/2018 14:20

I’m not offended, I just think it’s an absolute crock of shit.

ILoveDolly · 28/02/2018 14:21

My other thought is, what about the mums who don't do alot of household chores because they work very hard as doctors etc. These sort of songs subtly imply that they aren't really being good mums like the mum in the song. That's unfair too.

PuppyMonkey · 28/02/2018 14:22

“Trendy” to be offended? Grin

TheVanguardSix · 28/02/2018 14:22

Ah whatever. Doesn't offend me in the least. Pick your battles and all that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread