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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel like we’ll never own a house

75 replies

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 11:36

DH is on an annual salary of £37,000. I’m a SAHM and we live in military housing which is heavily subsidised. We have 2 DD’s, one who qualifies for 15 hours free childcare and a 1 year old who has no funded hours.

We have no debt but no savings either. We are coming into about £5,000 at the beginning of next year so that will be put to one side to help us with buying a house.

Today I looked at house prices (north of England) and saw some which I thought seemed reasonably priced. We can use the help to buy scheme but then when I checked online, my husband would be lucky to get a mortgage for £70,000, which is nowhere near what we would need to buy a house. I used to have a good career before having children but my husbands work commitments and having no family nearby means that realistically, term time work is going to be my only option (working in a nursery or something like that) and that won’t pay a great deal so I won’t really be able to earn until DC are both in school.

I just feel deflated. I’m 29 and everyone else I know is on the property ladder. I’m just feeling a bit of a failure in all honesty.

OP posts:
PhilODox · 28/02/2018 11:41

Well- you're not unusual, home ownership rates are dropping.
Many people that do have children delayed having them in order to buy somewhere before they did so, to avoid being in the situation of paying childcare.
Mortgages are usually less than rent, so doable when income goes down after birth of child IYSWIM.
No help to you now you already have them though, I realise. Flowers

tinkywinky2018 · 28/02/2018 11:41

Why do you have no savings if your housing is heavily subsidised? You do need to save money if you want to buy a house!

beepthemeep · 28/02/2018 11:42

There's not being able to afford it now, and there's not being able to afford it ever. You're still very young and in the first category I reckon - you could save what you can over the next 5 years or so and then you'll have kids in school, both of you can work with much lower childcare costs, and it all looks different.

You could also look into things like shared ownership schemes?

Smeaton · 28/02/2018 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuiteLikely5 · 28/02/2018 11:45

No your husbands salary will allow you to lend more than 70k

You can settle in an area and get a job but you won’t be able to move around as freely with your dh

A home is definitely not out of reach

Look into a LISA

The govt is offering to top up your housing fund if you are trying to buy for the first time

QuiteLikely5 · 28/02/2018 11:46

It’s 3.5 times your husbands salary

VladmirsPoutine · 28/02/2018 11:46

You're not a failure for not having brought a house. You're 29 and your children will not always be children. No need to feel deflated. You have to pick yourself up and go from there. I'm not particularly fussed about house ownership though I realise some are.

To be frank, where you find yourself is the natural consequence of the choices you have made thus far in life. I'm not having a go at you. But with 2 young children and your husband's position this is where you find yourself. Consider that you're actually pretty ok in terms of having no debt and still being young enough to rejoin the workforce once your dcs are more independent.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 28/02/2018 11:47

You need to review your spending. See what you can change (Insurance for example) or live without (Sky).

Then start a savings plan. With a good wage and no debt you should be able to put a couple of hundred away each month.

Bluelady · 28/02/2018 11:50

Military wives get a really raw deal career wise. You have my sympathy. Buying a house now isn't such a big deal. I was 37 before I was in a position to buy. You've got lots of time to reestablish your career and put yourselves in a better position to buy.

Pemba · 28/02/2018 11:51

I don't get why he would only be allowed to borrow £70k - that's less than twice his salary. Have you tried asking a broker such as London and Country? It's a good idea to start some savings, and Help to Buy Isa's or LISAs give you free bonuses for regular saving. Look on Martin Lewis's moneysavingexpert site - I think they have a tool that calculates your budget for you too.

DaphneduM · 28/02/2018 11:52

Don't despair. As someone else has said your husband can certainly borrow more than £70k on his income. Start taking some action, the two couples of my acquaintance that have recently got mortgages used a mortgage broker. It's definitely worth getting in touch with one of those. Also start saving, it's amazing how quickly it can mount up once you start.

BlondeB83 · 28/02/2018 11:53

Your husband will be able to get more than that on 37k, shop around and save hard for a £20 deposit.

BlondeB83 · 28/02/2018 11:54

20% not £20 Grin

Original poster
Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 11:55

I think he can only borrow that much because he is the sole earner for a family of 4, 2 dependent children and a wife to support. I’ve tried on numerous sites and I’m getting the same sort of results.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSevillle · 28/02/2018 11:56

You should be entitled to a much bigger mortgage than £70k on a salary of £37k, and it should be enough to buy something suitable in the north, especially if you can benefit from HTB/LISAs etc.

But if you are in subsidised housing and have no savings, would you be able to afford to repay a mortgage and full bills/repair costs that would presumably be more expensive than subsidised miliary housing?

BarbaraofSevillle · 28/02/2018 11:57

Sorry, cross posted. Have you talked to a broker? Is there any sort of specialised financial advice available to service families who might have access to products that meet yoru needs.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/02/2018 12:00

My dds were both at least mid 30s before they managed to buy. We did help a bit, but they are both in a relatively expensive part of the UK - £300k+ for even a grotty small house needing a lot of work in a halfway reasonable area.
Keep saving what you can, and don't despair!

Ebeneser · 28/02/2018 12:01

As others have said, not owning your own home isn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.
In fact, owning your own home can in some ways be more stressful. If your husband loses his job, for example, you would more than likely get housing benefit if you are renting. If you had a mortgage then they would not help you. If you didn't have mortgage protection insurance (or some form of income protection), then you'd be screwed (and most insurances expect you to wait 30-60 days before you can claim). You would have to sell your home, or get it repossessed.
You also don't have to worry about repairs. Also you have more freedom to move about. You are very tied down with a house. You can't just up and leave as easily.

The best thing you can do at the moment is to evaluate your spending, set a budget and allocate some money to a savings account. As others have said, you can get a LISA, which is a very attractive savings wrapper. You get 25% top up of what you contribute every year www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/lifetime-ISAs

patstar · 28/02/2018 12:03

Start saving now, my husband and I bought our home in 2015. Before that we were in housing association. When i say we saved for a year, we saved and saved and saved. Pack lunches, no eating out, no takeaways, went through all our direct debits and cancelled what we could. Did car boots and sold stuff on gumtree etc. Explained to our three boys (8, 12, 16) what we were doing. Gave them a small amount of money for their birthdays, which they were fine with. No coffee shops, we didn't buy any clothes for us etc..... I was obsessed lol!! We managed to buy a house, a complete doer upper but we new that would be all we could afford and we are getting there with the house. So start planning and it will happen, but you need to start saving now!.
Good luck - buy the way we are both in our early 40's and live in Hertfordshire

expatinscotland · 28/02/2018 12:05

You still have plenty of time, as pointed out. YABU.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 28/02/2018 12:06

In my experience those online calculators are all VERY risk averse. They probably want to damp down the expectations of applicants with shaky employment records or bad credit.

Well worth actually making an appointment with any bank or building society - start with your own, take in pay slips etc and ask them what would be possible. I get your point about dependents but I suspect even if he can't borrow 3.5x he can surely borrow more than 2x!

pinkdonkey · 28/02/2018 12:06

I don't think we will ever own a house tbh. Also live in the North, 35, no kids yet, I'm on a similar wage to your DH, my DH has been unable to work due to illness most of our married life but is now part time. It's been a struggle and we have decided time is running out for kids so we will prioritise having them over having a house. I reassure myself that my parents didn't buy their first house until they were in their 40s

LilaoftheGreenwood · 28/02/2018 12:09

Just re-read properly, sorry, if you have no savings/deposit then actually that's more likely to be the problem than salary unfortunately. There are 5% mortgages around now, I think, so the 5k is a good start on a house costing say 120k.

DenPerry · 28/02/2018 12:15

My DP earns £27k and we just got a mortgage for £125k with him as the sole earner with me and 2 kids. I don't get why you're getting low quotes!

Starlive22 · 28/02/2018 12:17

It's a hard road, but you have to save save save. Literally cut back on everything that isn't essential. Once you've got the deposit saved the rest is easy, someone will give you a mortgage on your husbands salary for a house, just save.

Totally agree with @LifeBeginsAtGin it's doable but you will have to shift your priorities a bit! I know that seems impossible but it's incredible what you can go without when you have a goal in mind! Good luck!