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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like we’ll never own a house

75 replies

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 11:36

DH is on an annual salary of £37,000. I’m a SAHM and we live in military housing which is heavily subsidised. We have 2 DD’s, one who qualifies for 15 hours free childcare and a 1 year old who has no funded hours.

We have no debt but no savings either. We are coming into about £5,000 at the beginning of next year so that will be put to one side to help us with buying a house.

Today I looked at house prices (north of England) and saw some which I thought seemed reasonably priced. We can use the help to buy scheme but then when I checked online, my husband would be lucky to get a mortgage for £70,000, which is nowhere near what we would need to buy a house. I used to have a good career before having children but my husbands work commitments and having no family nearby means that realistically, term time work is going to be my only option (working in a nursery or something like that) and that won’t pay a great deal so I won’t really be able to earn until DC are both in school.

I just feel deflated. I’m 29 and everyone else I know is on the property ladder. I’m just feeling a bit of a failure in all honesty.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 28/02/2018 13:31

Op try this it's the calculator brokers use
www.nationwide-intermediary.co.uk/calculators/aff_calc

Verbena37 · 28/02/2018 13:31

If you wait, and your DH stays in, he would be able to commute some of his pension upon leaving. Pension levels increase substantially by rank depending on how long he has left.

Bluelady · 28/02/2018 13:35

OP, you're getting a really hard time here from people who don't really understand your situation. The housing may be subsidised but it's not by very much, just below market rent would be my guess. If your husband is about to go on an unaccompanied overseas tour, it will be really tough for you while he's gone and your kids need stability. They don't need you disappearing off to work when he's just vanished.

Your idea of putting his overseas allowance to one side is a really good one. That's another £9k in the bank straight off. You will get to where you want to be but don't feel pressured to work until you and your kids are ready for it. I hope the other wives are supportive while he's away.

greendale17 · 28/02/2018 13:39

My DP earns £27k and we just got a mortgage for £125k with him as the sole earner with me and 2 kids.

^I am very surprised at this.

Charismatictac · 28/02/2018 13:40

You're only 29! I didn't get my name on deeds til I was in my 40s.

If I were you, I'd use this time to save as if you're in military accommodation, 'pretend' you are paying rent and put in to a HRSDA, also, while you're at home, maybe you could look after another child and save the money

Charismatictac · 28/02/2018 13:45

Ps, I agree that going to work when you've got two small DC and no partner to meet you 50:50 with childcare will make your life very hard. Financially balancing the goals you have and the support available to you, I would mind another child if you bear to. I suggest that - knowing I couldn't have borne it, not the type.. But there are other things you could do from home.

GoldenBlue · 28/02/2018 13:47

In your situation I would aim to buy a cheap fixer upper, fix it up and then rent it out. The value will grow over time, over pay the mortgage as you can. Trade up when you can afford to. Rent out again etc.

You don't need a house to live in until you come out. Travel with your DH and have adventures, but let the house build up value and start being paid off in the mean time.

If you can manage it buy 2 cheap but rentable properties. Keep trading up when you can.

When coming out sell up and buy something you personally want to leave in.

Good look

Samantha77hat · 28/02/2018 13:51

On a salary of £37k First Direct will lend you £175,750
You will need a 10% deposit which is £18k
You have £5k
So save £13k and you have £195k to buy a house
If you're in subsidised accomodation and you don't have childcare costs, your partner's take-home pay is £2400 a month so should be able to save £540 a month and in 2 years you can go ahead

Or if you're in a part of the country where property is cheaper save £500 a month for a year, add your £5k, and buy a place in a year for £100k

MyBrilliantDisguise · 28/02/2018 13:55

Given the ages of your children, I think it's very unfair of your husband to expect you to go back to work full time when he's not there to help with the children for most of the time. I also think the money you'd get from being overseas would be more than the profit you'd make if you stayed here.

lightcola · 28/02/2018 13:58

NatWest are doing 95% mortgages. My fella is on similar salary and we were given £150k agreement in principle. Go and speak to a broker before you dismiss it completely

bigfatbuddha · 28/02/2018 14:01

You need to make a 5 or 10 year plan. You can start saving a little now where possible. Once your kids either qualify for more childcare or go to school you can work. Work also helps getting a higher mortgage as well as adding to your savings. Nobody buys a house out of the blue, most of us had to work towards it. But if that doesn't fit ypur life don't be sad. Renting can be really nice too. It's a lit easier to move to a different place when you want to and you don't have the upkeep to do and pay for.

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 14:39

OP, you're getting a really hard time here from people who don't really understand your situation. The housing may be subsidised but it's not by very much, just below market rent would be my guess. If your husband is about to go on an unaccompanied overseas tour, it will be really tough for you while he's gone and your kids need stability. They don't need you disappearing off to work when he's just vanished.

You have really hit the nail on the head here. I am the only constant in our children’s lives. Family members come to visit and then leave. Friends who live close by, move on. Many we never see again. We move to new houses, new cities and even new countries. Their dad comes home for weeks at a time and then leaves for months. I know how much it matters that I’m here with them. Me being in a demanding job could be very detrimental to them. I want them to know, if everything around them is changing and people are coming and going, I will still be there. When they’re older, they’ll get it but just now it’s a lot for them to deal with.

OP posts:
tinkywinky2018 · 28/02/2018 14:41

The housing may be subsidised but it's not by very much, just below market rent would be my guess

OP said "heavily subsidised". That doesn't mean just below market rent.

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 14:45

It is heavily subsidised if you compare to rental prices. We pay about £300 per month for rent.

OP posts:
Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 14:46

Sorry, I shouldn’t have copied and pasted that part in my comment above.

OP posts:
tinkywinky2018 · 28/02/2018 14:48

So if you are paying so little, why do you not have any savings?

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 14:55

tinkywinky2018 I answered that upthread. We had some debt we paid off after getting married. DH has had a number of promotions over the years so it’s not as though his pay has always been £37k, it was much less than that a number of years ago and has only just gone up to that. We’ve not been silly with our money. Many of the other families in our position are in quite a bit of debt, we’ve worked hard not to be.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 28/02/2018 14:58

DH earned much less than that with a SAHM wife and 2 dependents and we were offered significantly more.

You need to go and see a broker or bank/building society.

FluffyWuffy100 · 28/02/2018 14:59

Make a five year plan.

Save.
You need to re-enter the workforce once both children get funded hours / school.
Then you’ll be in a much better position to buy what with two earners and reduced childcare costs.

Aim for at least a 10% deposit as much better rates available than on 95% mortgages.

FluffyWuffy100 · 28/02/2018 15:02

Me being in a demanding job could be very detrimental to them. I want them to know, if everything around them is changing and people are coming and going, I will still be there.

You don’t have to have a demanding job. But if you can get some part time, low hassle work this will help you get a larger mortgage. Even if you’re only earning 10k when the kids are at school - that’s another 35k you can borrow

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 15:12

You don’t have to have a demanding job. But if you can get some part time, low hassle work this will help you get a larger mortgage. Even if you’re only earning 10k when the kids are at school - that’s another 35k you can borrow

I think that will be my best option.

OP posts:
DenPerry · 28/02/2018 15:12

greendale Yep 125k lent on a 27k wage. It's with Natwest, we paid £13k deposit and pay back £450 a month. They even said it was beneficial to have me on the application too despite me being a SAHM, as child benefit counts towards it (£137 per month) This was November 2017. Like people have said, it's on affordability isn't it.. we had no debts when we applied and only basic outgoings.

Happyland8 · 28/02/2018 16:10

Can I ask, what are interest rates normally? I’ve looked online but seen that you can get fixed rates at 2% for a couple of years, but what is that likely to go up to? Thanks.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSevillle · 28/02/2018 16:20

Historical Bank of England base rates:

www.bankofengland.co.uk/boeapps/iadb/Repo.asp

I'd say mortgage rates of around 5% are 'typical' but are unlikely in the short to medium term. You should be able to fix at around 2-3% for 5-10 years at the moment, which will take you past the childcare years and give you some stability on what you are expected to pay.

When you apply they are required to see if you can afford 7% as part of the application.

Sn0wSn0w · 28/02/2018 16:29

We all make choices, you have 2 children and currently don't work. I agree you need to come up with a long term plan to save and work out affordability if you wish to own property. We all wish for alot of things in life, but you need to take into account time, effort, sacrifice of luxuries...There will never be a time when everyone owns their own property

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