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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that it's cheeky to invite ourselves to stay?

63 replies

Heycrazyloulou · 28/02/2018 09:42

I have planned a day out at a theme park over the holidays for DC. We would need accommodation for two nights as we live so far away. My sister lives within a 30 minute drive away from this place. Would it be cheeky to invite ourselves to stay with her?

OP posts:
snewsname · 28/02/2018 09:43

Depends on your relationship with her. I would be able to easily and wouldn't hesitate. Reading about many relationships on here, others so much.

RitasEducation · 28/02/2018 09:44

Not at all, unless you do not get along. Is she aware your going and maybe she would offer.

I would be more than happy to help a sibling out.

Original poster
Heycrazyloulou · 28/02/2018 09:45

We have a good relationship but don't get to see her that often so wouldn't want to think we were only using her and visiting purely for the accommodation.

OP posts:
ReinettePompadour · 28/02/2018 09:45

It depends what sort of relationship you have with her. For me it would be a definite no. I do find it incredibly rude for people to assume I will let them stay just because I live near a tourist attraction. If my guests are going to this attraction then I would at a minimum expect them to also pay for me and my family to go along too as theyre saving all hat money by staying at my house. I would also want dinner thrown in.

Jogel · 28/02/2018 09:45

It depends how close you are to your sister. Do you put her up at your house when she visits? If you hardly ever see her then yes I think it would be cheeky to use her house as free accommodation for your holiday trip.

Original poster
Heycrazyloulou · 28/02/2018 09:46

I would take dinner for us all and invite her and her family to come with us.

OP posts:
KellyBailey · 28/02/2018 09:47

Have you ever hosted your sister and her family, or are you willing to do so to reciprocate? Does she have room in the house to fit you all in easily? If yes and she agrees to have you make sure you take a nice gift of flowers/wine etc and offer to pay for a takeaway one night to save her cooking.

budgiegirl · 28/02/2018 09:47

It depends on the relationship you have with your sister, and how you ask her.

I have a great relationship with my sister, and sometimes stay with her the night before a holiday as she lives near to a major airport. But I always ask in a way that gives her the ok to say no, such as “Would it be possible to stay? Don’t worry if it’s not convenient’

CherryMaDeary · 28/02/2018 09:48

If my guests are going to this attraction then I would at a minimum expect them to also pay for me and my family to go along too as theyre saving all hat money by staying at my house. I would also want dinner thrown in.

The hotel would probably be cheaper.

RitasEducation · 28/02/2018 09:48

Ask her, I wouldn't expect you to bring all of mine too, if you can organise a treat the previous evening for the family.

Does she know you're going to the theme park.

VladmirsPoutine · 28/02/2018 09:48

There's no harm in asking, it's either a yes or a no. For my siblings it would be no problem, but reading about all the NC and fractious family relationships on here maybe you're right to query it.

Ragwort · 28/02/2018 09:49

Totally depends on your relationship with her, and does she have the space to put you all up?

We regularly host friends from around the country but it tends to be a fairly 'informal' flexible arrangement as many of our friends are happy to host us. And it helps that we have a proper guest room and spare bathroom.

DH stayed with friends last night (a fab house with great facilities usually) - not so good as the boiler wasn't working so no heat or hot water on the coldest night of the year. Grin

PavlovianLunge · 28/02/2018 09:49

I suggest you make a cancellable booking at a hotel/b&b nearby, then tell her what you’re doing and suggest meeting up. If she then makes the offer for you to stay, you can cancel the booking, giving the hotel as much notice as you can.

purits · 28/02/2018 09:50

wouldn't want to think we were only using her and visiting purely for the accommodation.

So what else are you proposing to do: take them out for lunch, go for a walk, help with a house project, sit & chat ...
Talk to her, not us.

Thesmallthings · 28/02/2018 09:50

REIN Dinner fine but to expect them to pay for you and your family id find that ruder Tbh

Your family and family should be able to suck it up at times.

I'd be able to ask my siblings and Vic vercer.

If not theryll be cheap hotel around..

ReinettePompadour · 28/02/2018 09:51

We have a good relationship but don't get to see her that often Heres your problem. You don't see her that often but your not actually going to see her are you? You are going to the attraction and you think she may not mind you using her for free accommodation to save you money.

Had you planned a visit to see your sister and stay with her and then said lets all go to Alton Towers or wherever together then it wouldn't look as cheeky as 'lets all go to Alton Towers/Attraction but lets save some money and stay with my sister, I'm sure she wont mind'

I personally would feel a bit miffed, in fact I'm not sure you aren't my sister if your going to Alton Towers Hmm If you are I want Grannys teapot, don't forget it this time Wink

Justanotherzombie · 28/02/2018 09:52

My sister would have us no problem. She'd be furious about us coming within 50 miles of her and not both visiting and staying.

No idea about your sister!

Appuskidu · 28/02/2018 09:53

It dependable how you do it. If you say ‘we are planning to go to Alton Towers on April 13th-can we doss at yours for two nights?’
That is very different to saying,

‘Fancy planning a joint trip to Alton Towers this year? When are you free?!’

Justanotherzombie · 28/02/2018 09:53

My sister would also never get all pissy about me bringing the family to a nearby attraction and staying with her by default. Neither of us are so petty.

QuiteLikely5 · 28/02/2018 09:53

You don’t invite yourself you just ask?

There is a difference

Thebluedog · 28/02/2018 09:54

Depends on your relationship with her. I’d have no problem inviting myself to my dB but we have that sort of relationship

Porgs · 28/02/2018 09:56

Invite your sister and her family to come with you to the theme park and she may offer to have you to stay anyway (but be prepared for her not to!)

Bluelady · 28/02/2018 09:58

Until finding MN it would never have occurred to me that it would be a problem. This place has been a real eye opener.

snewsname · 28/02/2018 10:00

If my guests are going to this attraction then I would at a minimum expect them to also pay for me and my family to go along too as theyre saving all hat money by staying at my house. I would also want dinner thrown in.
I bet you don't have many people wanting to visit you anymore with an attitude like that.

PorkFlute · 28/02/2018 10:00

I wouldn’t ask tbh. If you don’t make an effort to visit at other times then you are just after free accommodation. Inviting your sis and her family alon sounds like a good idea or asking if you can meet up/visit while you’re in the area. Build up a better relationship then in future you won’t feel cheeky asking for a favour.