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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect some help from my GP in losing weight?

543 replies

Chubbychubchub · 27/02/2018 13:23

I am a fatty. Properly overweight. About 8 stone over normal weight range (about 19st, I should be 11st at most according to BMI).

Last year I had some health issues. My GP said I'd benefit from losing weight. Just eat less and move more were her words.

I have tried. However I struggle to control what I eat, and have zero willpower.

I did go to a well known slimming group previously. It made me ill, though I did get down to 13st. But it wasn't sustainable.

I asked my GP for help. I was told 'all they could do was refer me to the nurse, but she would tell me the same. That was all they could do and there was no other help available.

I have heard of people locally being referred to a dietician, or sent to slimming group for free etc. Aibu to expect something similar, or certainly some kind of help beyond trite advice?

OP posts:
LondonHereICome · 27/02/2018 16:31

Don't like water??

You need to get over that tbh

If you went for one of the 5 Mile runs you used to do, and it was a warm day, would you turn down some water? What did you re-hydrate with?

Original poster
Chubbychubchub · 27/02/2018 16:32

Hillingdon, you don't believe I could run 15 miles at 13st? I could and did. Not in one go, but 5 miles 3x a week. As I started to gain I ran slower and less. But that's what I did when I was at my lightest and up to about 15st. I could also walk for 90 mins on the highest treadmill gradient. Or do half an hour on the stepper. I can't do any of that right now because I am too heavy, but I could still walk for 3 or 4 miles with ease, albeit at a slow pace.

By how I present to my GP, I have no underlying problems apart from gallstones. My heart is good. My bp is fine. I have no joint pain. Apart from being very fat, which I undeniably am, I'm in good health.

OP posts:
LondonHereICome · 27/02/2018 16:32

speakout

*Dinner I make pasta, shepherds pie, lasagne, sausage casserole

Hardly foods to help you lose weight.*

Actually, op will know they can be very healthy if made the slimming world way

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 27/02/2018 16:36

This is the third time I have asked if you have a tablet. If you do download myfitnesspal to that.

If I were you I start by drinking two litres of water a day. You said you are never full and also you don't drink water or squash..ALOT of people confuse thirst with water.

Steeley113 · 27/02/2018 16:37

My mum was 19st at 5’8 and was a size 22. That is not fit or healthy. Honestly, just leave trying to lose weight until you’re ready. You’re blatantly not ready for it yet.

teaiseverything · 27/02/2018 16:38

OP, you are in denial if you think your heart is good. It most definitely will have a thick layer of fat around it. Your will also have a coating of fat making it harder for the blood to pump through. These things don't show up in bloods or ECG's. You need echos and stress tests and they typically are only offered once you've had a damn heart attack or something similar.

teaiseverything · 27/02/2018 16:38

*A coating of fat in your arteries

Original poster
Chubbychubchub · 27/02/2018 16:42

I will look at the posts mentioned a couple of times. Sorry I can't search now but will try later.

I missed the question about the tablet, no I don't. We do have a family desktop pc, which I use when my kids aren't on it (rarely). I do also have pens and paper before anyone asks me that.

I'm still waiting for the posters who told me to spend what I save on fopd for therapy. Given my personal spend could obly be reduced by £20 and therapy is at least £50.

I will try and find out what the situation is in my local area 're therapy and see if I can refer myself or similar.

OP posts:
RunningjustasfastasIcan99 · 27/02/2018 16:43

13 stone and running 15 miles must have been very hard on your body. I've struggled a lot with my weight. It's not easy. I'm up and down but every time I fall off now I pick myself up and get back on it. BUT there are 100's of free things on the internet that you can do (haven't read whole thread). HIIT training of youtube, Joe Wicks. You may not be able to get MYfitness pal on your phone but you can have it on the computer. There's facebook pages that are very supportive, sustain nutrition or "A big girl's journey to lean" which are fantastic. My point is, if you wan help there's plenty out there.

Rosamund1 · 27/02/2018 16:44

There are now at least 12 pages on this thread. Each page has some excellent points. Let’s say two good ideas per page = 24 ideas.

How many have you done?

I haven’t read the whole thread but recapping some of what was mentioned plus my own two cents.

  1. Your stomach is all stretched out. It will take a few weeks to get to a normal size. During that time you will be hungry. Push through it.
  1. Many things labelled ‘fat free’ are loaded with sugar which will contribute to weight gain. Cooking from scratch (as you said you do) is best.
  1. Many confuse hunger for thirst. It sounds silly but it is true. You say you drink tea. How many sugars? They quickly add up to a bag of sugar and you wouldn’t drink that, would you? Rule = feeling hungry? Big glass of water then wait ten minutes.
  1. Many people eat more than they realise. A portion plate for home. Pack a lunchbox for work. If you don’t buy junk you can’t be ‘naughty’. Weekly shop . A pack of mr Kipling. If you eat them in one day, or eat them over a week , as long as you don’t buy more you can’t overdo it.

Your issue is also psychological. Watch Netflix - fat, sick & nearly dead (harsh but it is a person sharing their story)

kubex · 27/02/2018 16:45

@Chubbychubchub Blah blah blah...

You are in denial. You are not healthy.

You are full of excuses and are not willing to listen to any of the advice you have been given.

Until you accept you and your behaviours are to blame, you will not lose weight.

teaiseverything · 27/02/2018 16:47

There are also a number of charities for over eating, binge eating, weight problems. Just have Google, there are quite a few there.

MaxWeber · 27/02/2018 16:48

You could always just try to accept that you are fat, and probably always will be. Eat what you like, put weight loss right out of your head. Take some of the pressure off. Being fat is not a moral failing. Sure, you might cost the NHS more than a slim person, but equally you might not. This huge chorus of diet advice is just fuelling the self hatred.

TalkinPeace · 27/02/2018 16:48

I missed the question about the tablet, no I don't. We do have a family desktop pc, which I use when my kids aren't on it
PIFFLE
You are on the computer right now.
Open up the MFP website and STOP MAKING EXCUSES

Lovemusic33 · 27/02/2018 16:48

Dont like water neither do I, I drink flavoured water though, I find straight water too bland, I also drink green tea which can help with weight loss.

And yes you can eat pasta, Shepard’s pie and sausage casarole as long as you select healthier ingredients (low fat mince, low fat sausages etc..), I don’t have pasta more than once a week though as it bloats me like bread does. Slimming world curry is quite nice, it’s one of the few recipes I like and campfire stew, both very filling.

Original poster
Chubbychubchub · 27/02/2018 16:49

teaiseverything ok I stand corrected. After I had a gallstones attack I went to hospital as I thought I was having a heart attack. The A&E consultant said, looking at my various test results , that my heart was fine, no issues, and I needn't worry about heart issues, although I probably had gallstones (then confirmed). I also asked my GP about exercise and if there was any risk because of my size. She also said my heart was fine. So ok that clearly wasn't what they meant.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 27/02/2018 16:51

As for your ex being abusive, he’s your ex, don’t let the abuse from the past make you eat more. My ex used to call me fat, told me no one else would want me if I left him as I was out of shape after having kids. I kicked him out and went from a size 14 to a 10, he’s now shacked up with someone who is obese. I lost the weight for me and to prove that he was the reason I was lazy and fat (because he made me miserable).

KittyVonCatsington · 27/02/2018 16:51

I never eat butter or oil

But you do eat lots of peanut butter which is higher in fat than normal butter.

I’d stop that and that would make a big difference. (I would actually avoid all bread and you may well notice a huge difference without even trying)

Dungeondragon15 · 27/02/2018 16:51

But what it ultimately boils down to is that weight loss, and sustained maintenance, is down to willpower. It simply is.

A healthy weight is not just down to will power though. Many factors are involved as discussed above. Some people are slim without even using any will power. While you can't do anything about some factors, I think that a lot more could be done to help those who struggle with their weight.

What help do you feel a seriously overstretched NHS can give? And what other service do you propose cutting to fund that?

You could say that about anything though but the fact is that if money isn't spent on reducing levels of obesity ultimately even more NHS will be spent treating diseases such as diabetes in the future. Not spending on obesity because the NHS is deemed to be "overstretched" would be a false economy.

Weight is a hugely emotive issue. I'm a reformed morbidly obese person. But I seriously couldn't have looked at myself in the mirror and convinced myself that the NHS should have had to get involved in my recovery. I put the weight on: it was my responsibility to take it off.

In some respects I agree with you -it does seem a bit much for OP or anyone else to complain that the NHS isn't helping them to eat less/exercise more. However, objectively I would prefer it if money wast spent preventing obesity now rather than spend vastly more on the many diseases caused by obesity in the future.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/02/2018 16:53

The thing is OP lots of people have taken the time to post some really detailed and helpful posts with suggestions and advice. I myself have tried to be kind and helpful. RavenLG has been particularly helpful and practical I think, breaking each meal down and explaining strategies to help you make changes.

You've just ignored all that and had a spat with Bluntness instead.

You seem very angry and convinced everyone is out to get you. Look, I know how easy i is to feel defenesive and angry about your weight when you're bigger but honestly, people have really tried to help, including Bluntness. Perhaps read the thread again later? There's tons of great advice here. Most of it from people who have been where you are now.

NovemberWitch · 27/02/2018 16:53

I think Max has the answer you are looking for. It’s not your fault, no one will help you, accept being fat and presenting as healthy and live your life.

teaiseverything · 27/02/2018 16:54

You do realise that A&E consultants deal with worst case scenarios? As in, unless it's shown there and then that your leg is falling off, you're septic....whatever the hell it may be, they're not going to bother getting into the nitty gritty of your bloods. I have to go regularly for treatments for flare ups of one of my illnesses and although each individual blood test didn't show anything significant, in fact, when my gastro consultant looked at them and the pattern they presented, he was able to see there was a problem with my liver.

Also, I don't doubt your GP said your heart was fine. It's a way to take away the trepidation about exercising.

As I've mentioned, I'm overweight too. I'm also losing it. Stop kidding yourself, stop lying to yourself, stop making excuses. I had to do all of these things too.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/02/2018 16:54

It's very common to get gallstones after a large weight loss, particualarly middle aged women

Rosamund1 · 27/02/2018 16:55

The op is not responding to suggestions. Only adding more complaints.

unfollow

Jenasaurus · 27/02/2018 16:57

I understand what you are saying. You need support, maybe counselling to look into why you are comfort eating and have control issues, I do believe having an eating disorder should be taken seriously and I am not surprised you feel let down.

I went to my GP a few years ago after having my gall bladder removed, I was having diet related issues and desperately needed to lose weight but my will power was terrible. I was addicted to food and the feel of being over full, they referred me to a support group and a nurse who helped plan a diet and weekly weigh ins, and I did succeed, I hope you get the help and support you need, but I wanted to say I do understand