To expect some help from my GP in losing weight?

[Chubbychubchub]

I am a fatty. Properly overweight. About 8 stone over normal weight range (about 19st, I should be 11st at most according to BMI).

Last year I had some health issues. My GP said I'd benefit from losing weight. Just eat less and move more were her words.

I have tried. However I struggle to control what I eat, and have zero willpower.

I did go to a well known slimming group previously. It made me ill, though I did get down to 13st. But it wasn't sustainable.

I asked my GP for help. I was told 'all they could do was refer me to the nurse, but she would tell me the same. That was all they could do and there was no other help available.

I have heard of people locally being referred to a dietician, or sent to slimming group for free etc. Aibu to expect something similar, or certainly some kind of help beyond trite advice?

OP this really isn't the right place for you. You are getting some really unpleasant responses. It looks to me that you have used food to manage your distress and difficult emotions. You are feeling very stuck and helpless.
This feels more complex than eat less and move more to me and I feel you would benefit from psychological therapy to help you learn some more adaptive ways to cope with distress. You are not worthless and although you are now out of that relationship, abuse stays with you.
In my NHS Trust you would be eligible to receive Eating Disorder Services if not in your area you can access some CBT via IAPT. Go back to your GP and say you need help with low self esteem and to learn some adaptive ways to cope. With that boost you may feel in a better place to tackle your eating.

I think the sad reality op is that until you're willing to accept personal responsibility for your weight , accept there may be something wrong in your diet and accept that fixing it is possible and only you can do it, then there is very little anyone can do to help you inc your gp.

I'm sure that time will come, but it's not now.

What sort of help were you hoping for? Any kind of slimming group or advice from a dietician will still need willpower and a sustained change of eating/exercise habits. Not to mention shopping habits - not buying the 'wrong' foods in the first place, or at least only having them as occasional treats.

I don't know whether you are thinking of surgery. A friend of mine has been left with very painful problems after a gastric band caused other things to go wrong. She fervently wishes she'd never had the wretched thing.

Relying on willpower alone doesn't work anyway. Military-style advance planning, developing healthier choices over time, and making small realistic changes, like swapping one meal for home-made veg soup every day, or aiming to walk 10,000 steps every day, is far more likely to be successful.

All of those things require willpower.

It may not require a lot of willpower, but you still have to want to do it and not fall back into old habits because it's easier.

Home made and/or low fat does not equal healthy. And those supermarket sandwiches often have way more calories than an averge person needs.

A study came out recently where people were able to lose weight without calorie counting, simply eating not processed healthy foods.
www.nytimes.com/2018/02/20/well/eat/counting-calories-weight-loss-diet-dieting-low-carb-low-fat.html

Maybe that would help? But yes this means no crisps, white flour products and so on.

If you want willpower, see a hypnotherapist

Your GP can only help if you are willing to help yourself.

What options are you happy to try?

Oh lord yes the supermarket sandwiches - so calorific!

Just been googling about them and read this: "Meanwhile, a chicken and smoked bacon salad sandwich on soft multigrain farmhouse bread from Marks & Spencer contains 694 calories and 37.1g of fat – more than a Pizza Express margherita pizza (683 calories, 22.5g fat)"

That's so shocking isn't it? 694 calories for a sandwich?! And then if you're having crisps and a sweet thing too plus pop you could easily be looking at 1100 to 1200 calories for a not-very-satisfying lunch

You’re posts consist of things you can’t do, excuses as to why you’re the way you are and making out your current diet isn’t ‘that bad’. Everyone knows how to lose weight, you either accept the help and support people on here would give if you were positive and explained what you CAN do or stop posting because it’s boring and repetitive.

Sometimes when you don't feel full it's because your thirsty try to drink more water and walk what you used to run and slowly increase the distance, then move up to speed walking etc. When your walking in the street pick someone to over take like your racing. Simple things but they helped me loose a bit of weight without too much effort X I hope you find the strength to lose the weight you want. Also create a new clothes treat box where you put the actual value of any sugary treat in rather than buying the chocolate or w/e x

Slightly at some of the responses and abuse the op is getting.

Food can be like many things an addiction.
If a person takes drugs and wants help they get it.
If a person drinks alcohol the same.

The op has already said that her exh was verbally abusive to her and put her down.

It's all very good dieting and exercising but if the op is emotionally eating then nothing is going to stop that until the reasons for that are addressed.

Grimbles that is why I very deliberately worded it that willpower alone doesn't work. The point I was making is that advance planning and established habits support the person trying to lose weight, so they need to rely less on willpower by itself.

A classic example is coming home from work, tired and hungry, and being able to reach for the one portion home made veg soup in the freezer, as opposed to reaching for the crisp packet. I agree that you will have needed to have had the willpower to batch cook at the we in the first place, but the decision to do that is a considered one ifysim, one not made on the spur of the moment when one is hangry after work, if that makes sense.

I haven't deliberately ignored helpful posts. I have said I agree I could do with reducing portion size. And other suggestions I agree with and will try to organise my life better so I can do more of them.

I have tried overnight oats before but only with yoghurt which I hate. I like almond milk so I will try that again. I don't eat berries but I can chop up a banana or Apple which I will eat.

I do already make my own pasta sauce and other stuff which I cook from scratch. Yes sometimes we have pizza or a takeaway, but I can't eat more than 2 slices as it sets my gall bladder off so that is a treat for them not me.

're my gallbladder a pp asked about diet for that. When I saw the consultant he said just to eat anything that didn't bring on an attack which would probably be high fat or fried food - which I now avoid and it was trial and error. So that was all the advice, no specific diet was suggested. I don't know if my previous diet caused the gallstones or not. Apparently it's a possibility. My food intake when I first gained was very much butter cheese etc based. Then of course I got down to 13st, put on some, and then found out i had gallstones.

I honestly haven't seen any post that I'd say contains 'abuse'.

People are, in the main, trying to help, but becoming frustrated. That's not abusive though.

you could easily be looking at 1100 to 1200 calories for a not-very-satisfying lunch

And that is my total calorie allowance for the day when I'm on a cut

Lots of people said do MFP. I was saying why I can't do that.
Piffle.
It works on a laptop or ipad.
You just do not WANT to do it
because you know that it will tell you the truth.

If you ate less you would free up the money to pay for the CBT you need.

Beehive, I think you need to read the thread. The op is insistent her diet is actually very healthy.

She has two pieces of toast with banana for breakfast, she has a a salad sandwich and low fat crisps for lunch or just a salad, she has a home cooked meal with some bread for dinner but she doesn't use butter or fats and doesn't eat cheese, when she eats in the evening it's a snack of either cereal with skimmed milk or low fat biscuits. She's belatedly admitted to eating chocolate but beyond that she is not admitting to a poor diet.

She says she eats emotionally and as a reward but is conversely arguing her diet is beyond reproach. Hence why there is little to nothing she can do here.

I think you should eat what the hell you want while you put all your energy into some psychological support so that you can see yourself in a better light and work out why you struggle with self care and with frustration tolerance and delaying gratification. You can ask your GP to refer you to psychological therapies for CBT or counselling or you could look at the BACP website for accredited private counsellors or the BABCP for accredited CBT Therapists (different from counselling in that they focus in a more structured way on how your thinking and behaviour impact your feelings and what you’re doing to maintain your problems. Counselling is the traditional more unstructured talking therapy. Both would be useful). Alternatively, some branches of MIND offer low cost counselling, supportive groups or student counsellors. I’ve always found focussing on willpower to be pretty hopeless; effective behavioural change isn’t about stopping or resisting, it’s about filling the space with a different behaviour. I think focussing on menus right now is missing a trick which is why you’re resistant OP. Head first, waistline second. Good luck.

If SW didn’t work for you when you paid for it, why would it work for you when it’s free?

Ultimately, the willpower and motivation has to come from you OP. Stop blaming your doctor and everyone else.

OP I sympathise, many people comfort eat, me included, and I have to work every single day to stay a normal weight. Whatever method you choose to lose weight is hard.

But YABVU to be indignant that your GP didn't help. Beyond referral for bariatric surgery, there really is nothing doctors can do to facilitate weight loss.

If you are depressed and you feel you need counselling, then there are services and treatments available. But if the NHS paid for therapy for everyone who comfort eats, it would crumble in a matter of weeks.

The willpower has to come from within you. I am a GP, and the continued list of reasons for why you can't do the things people suggest, is sadly all too familiar.

When i want to lose weight, i try the "be really good to myself" approach.
If i try to deny myself then i just end up reaching for crisps/biscuits "because i can" etc... not sure why, i think it's an inner rebel in me.

So i only eat really nice good quality food. Almost think of it as nourishing yourself.
A nice steak, salmon, M&S fruit salad, lentils with a nice dressing/mint/pine nuts, warm roast chicken - the sort of food you'd get on holiday at a Maldives 5 hotel ! (not that i would know).
Buy elderflower cordial or San Pellegrino sparkling water, treat yourself to delicious fresh things. Buy a bunch of flowers and put on the table.

After a few days on that i honestly don't want crisps or a bagel.

I did say this earlier that I would like therapy. But I don't have unlimited funds. I don't know what therapist I need or how to find one. I was sent by my GP for group therapy for stress a few years ago but it really wasn't helpful as I felt really uncomfortable in a group setting and other people's problems seemed really different to mine, some simpler, some much worse. That seemed to be the only therapy option at the time in my area. Is there a way to find out what the options are? I feel like my GP is dismissive, I am generally fit and able bodied and present myself faorly positively even though I don't feel it so I feel she thinks I don't need any mh help.

Try thr cambridge plan x

Bluntness absolutely but have you ever watched programs like secret eating?
People convince themselves that they are actually eating healthily. They can't understand why on earth they might be gaining stones in weight.

Op, I'm sorry you're getting a rough time but you know your problems, you know what is wrong but you're not doing anything to help yourself.

You listed a normal diet day. It's terrible if I'm honest.

Toast x 2 if I'm at home. A peanut butter sandwich if I'm out
Something like porridge would be more filling. I know you don't like eggs, fruit, yoghurt etc. but more protein would help you feel fuller for longer. Get out of the mindset of 'breakfast food' you could have lean chicken and avacado/tomato or something?

Lunch I eat things like a supermarket meal deal (sandwich crisps and drink) or a salad from subway or a salad from home.
More bread and crisps. Even the low fat ones are shite. Salad fine, but are you putting dressing on? It all adds up. Stop grabbing things from the shop, be prepared. It means putting the effort in and planning but its worth it. Get a flask / thermos and take in soup? Lean meat and veggies, brown rice and veggies?

Dinner I make pasta, shepherds pie, lasagne, sausage casserole, curry etc. I have a large portion of that. Maybe bread too, either before that or with dinner.
Do you really need bread with a large portion? Ditch it, you don't need it! It's habit! If all made from scratch then fine, look at your portion sizes. You admit they are large, start scaling them down. Only plate up 3/4 of what you usually would and replace with extra veg or salad. Do that for a while and drop down another quarter. If you're not making from scratch there are lots of hidden sugar / calories.

Snacks in the eve a bowl of cereal or biscuits or whatever other snacks are in the house
Why are you snacking? Boredom? You say you don't have time to do any other exercise but you have time for snacks.. take yourself out for a walk. Run up and down the stairs, do something to occupy yourself.Go out, see friends, play a video game, play an instrument, learn a language.. there are loads of things you can do to occupy your time that doesn't involve food.

Feeling sad - do something that makes you happy that isn't food! Get out of the mindset that food is a treat and food makes you happy because it doesn't. It's making you fat and miserable! Get your nails done, get your hair done, buy a new top etc. Food isn't a treat, you're not a dog!

Can't run, walk more. Can't walk, dance, skip, roll around, just move! There will be something you can do! Do exercise from your seat with your upper body! There are loads of exercises that you could do while your diet lets you drop a few stone to make it more comfortable to do more intense exercise.

It really is your mindset stopping you.

I say this as I totally understand. I'm 17 stone at 5foot I'm morbidly obese, and I know all of these things. I know what I need to do. I know when I need to do it. But I don't.
Exercise, meh cba. I tell myself oh I've got a headache, my ankle hurts, I don't have time, but I know they are excuses. That's all. As much as you're being defensive and say you're trying, you're not creating these barriers you are, and you know you are. YOU are the only person that can change YOU!