Wow! Defensive much? I asked a fairly obviously needed question!
Plus rude!
It's common with this type of post for it to later he revealed the op doesn't know as much as they think or they've extrapolated info.
Graphista: i know where they live and wjat school she goes to, so know the difference ok
Diet comment was about what they ate when I was there at the weekend just gone'so based on ONE snapshot
And my SIL has told me about the buggy and that they don't walk did she say they never walk?
I know about the holidays and vaccines cos she's told me/put on fb. yea cos people NEVER lie/exaggerate/use sarcasm on fb
You can assume I'm lying but I'm not sure what I'd be gaining from lying about this. I am in regular contact via whatsapp and phone calls, even though I only see them once a month. Does that help you?
I didn't assume that at all if I definitely thought that I'd have said so - I'm quite clear in my posting style. What you'd gain? Plenty of posts of in laws who judge mothers negatively for petty reasons. Getting us to justify your dislike of your sil is one option.
"I'm agog you are trawling back through her FB counting up days off, thats a lot of effort!" More than a tad obsessive
"Why is everyone focusing on the SIL? OP's DB is equally these children's parent." Because op has framed it that way, doesn't suit her narrative to criticise her brother.
I have to say I'm also sceptical of people who aren't parents themselves criticising parenting decisions.
My dd is 17 I've been a single parent since she was 2. There are times when I've let her use a buggy when she was tired after the age of 4, let her have too much sugary food, let her stay home from school due to not actually being ill but having had a bad nights sleep due to nightmares etc and would've been a nightmare grouch at school...
She is slim, healthy (apart from her disability which is genetic), doesn't have even one filling, got good qualifications at school and now has a good full time job that could lead into a good career, has good friends.
She had one term where her attendance levels were low due to her disability (diagnosed around that time as a result) flared up badly.
However much you see on fb or sil tells you on whatsapp etc you don't have the whole picture.
"It was really nothing to do with me being there" just because it wasn't explicitly said doesn't mean that's true. You don't know their routine/diet when you're NOT there.
Just because that's the food they had in/you saw whilst there doesn't mean that's what they eat all the time either. My freezer tends to be half frozen veg half convenience foods but we rarely have a "freezer" dinner, we tend to have pasta, chilli, stir fry, casserole - most of the ingredients are in my cupboards.
Young children often don't like green veg (cliché for a reason) as it can taste bitter to them. But she's clearly at least trying.
"I wasnt there though, so dont know how constructive they were raising it." Glad you acknowledge they may have not come across very well.
If you genuinely care for the whole family I can understand you keeping a wee concerned eye, but bear in mind that you don't know all that's happening, don't see them particularly often and don't understand what stress your sil is under.
I can't imagine her partner working 6 days a week is very easy for a start.