DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

[MarysLittleLamb]

I get very moved by certain types of art and music, so much so that I occasionally cry. Last year we went to the Louvre and I ended up silently weeping at a number of art works. When we got out of the gallery DH admitted that he finds it all a bit over the top and unnecessary - as if I do it on purpose!

Anyway we've just got back from Rome. I became a little overwhelmed in the coliseum when I thought about the violence and death that had taken place there. DH said I was the only one in the entire place crying and he was fed up with it. I explained that I don't do it on purpose, it just gets to me.

We went to the Sistine Chappell the day after and I ended up screaming at the MichaelAngelo. A number of tourists tried to console me but DH just walked off muttering "for fucks sake". I felt so stupid. When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together. AIBU to think I can't change who I am or should I??

*embarrassed

I admit to a few silent screams when DS aged 6 was playing the recorder.

Emotionally incontinent

I very rarely comment on threads but I had to on this, just to say it's fucking nuts!

I have never encountered such a thing - for which I am thankful. Your OH is quite right to fund your behaviour ridiculous. God knows what you would do at a holocaust memorial.

...to find

Thank you OP for this gem - you have truly brightened up my day!!

OP you do realise that you don’t actually feel more than anyone else?

Other people at the Coliseum, The Vatican, Ground zero etc found these things moving, upsetting and evocative. You weren’t the only one.

The difference is that everyone else exhibited an appropriate adult amount of self control.

You on the other hand distracted everyone from their personal engagement with those exhibits.

Their experience became all about you.

They stopped thinking about the art, the history or the people involved and instead focused on the incredibly selfish woman wailing in
the corner.

We don’t always have a choice about how we feel. We always have a choice about how we behave.

FakeMews
I admit to a few silent screams when DS aged 6 was playing the recorder.

Not unreasonable. Anything that makes your ears bleed is worthy of a few tears!

This is absolutely fucking hilarious! I've not laughed so much in ages!
Your poor DH though.

Have you always been encouraged to think of yourself as a beautiful, emotionally open, sensitive soul? Self-obsessed drama llamas like you have usually had someone validate their idiotic behaviour at some point - if you'd been laughed at enough when you started this sort of thing, you might have learned to get over it by now.

People who are always snivelling and blubbering and collapsing with their own intense intensity are absolute hell to live with. Not least because they are completely incapable of grasping the idea that other people have feelings, too.

I really hope you're not the woman my DH was telling me about yesterday...his colleagues wife does this and his colleague has had enough to the point where he was asking my husband what would he do? My husband replied I would go to counselling if nothing changed I would leave her (if it was the other way round I would do the same) as I hate attention seeking! I met her once a few years ago at a charity dinner, the speaker made a thank you speech for all the hard work and money raised for disabled families and showed the differences the donations had made in a video, one of the families came on and during their speech...cue crying, whailing VERY loudly...I just wanted the ground to swallow our table up...EVERYONE including the MD was looking at us!! We (and the other four couples) spent most of the night avoiding going back to our table and couldn't wait for the night to be over...I felt very sorry for DH colleague.

You need to go to counselling either yourself or as a couple or learn some self-control to not make your DH feel so uncomfortable.

Okay, I felt a bit queasy at the colosseum

I felt very queasy while visiting a former slave fort in Ghana. Luckily, I managed not to make a spectacle of myself (could you imagine how awful it would be if a white British woman started screaming and wailing about it. I just quietly reflected on the horror of what had happened there and decided that queasy and terrible were the appropriate emotions to be feeling.

Some other visitors were more overtly overcome by the whole thing, but that was entirely appropriate, since they were African Americans descended from Ghanaian slaves. (I only know this because they told me). I would imagine they’d have been much less impressed if I, as a white British woman, had started screaming and wailing about how emotional a visit to a former British slave fort made me. Could you imagine...

It's a bit like breaking wind - a natural reaction, but not to the point where people are actively backing away from you and muttering..

I can’t stop laughing (quietly on the train, more of a broad grin actually.

I feel for you though OP. It can’t be any fun for you. Are you actually crying or screaming about something else?

Oh my god I feel embarrassed for you

Surely being escorted out by security guards was a clue that your reaction was very OTT?

You’re not just sensitive though, you’re hysterical!

I had the overwhelming urge to scream and cry too. This was upon entering Morrisons with a 3yo and an 8 week old who went bat shit crazy and every fucker looking my way. My emotions nearly got the best of me. I wanted to levitate the fuck out of there... After my giant well deserved cream cake....

Sorry, I’m with your DP - you are embarrassing!

YABU. Plenty of people are deeply moved by art, but most know how to express themselves more appropriately. You sound like a nightmare TBH.

I certainly cry a lot at music and opera (when at least you're usually sitting in the dark), and do get a bit emotional about art. Totally appreciate it's not for show, but also appreciate your DH finding it a bit much for you to struggle to hold it together so publically. Do you know why you react so strongly? Could you think about relaxation techniques to keep yourself calm?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stendhal_syndrome you might have this,

Omg I'm actually dying with laughter at someone screaming at the ma 😭

I'd be so pissed off if I had to share gallery space with you, tbh.