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Original poster

To tell DD about Myra Hindley

80 replies

TheCatWearsOrange · 26/02/2018 10:46

DH reckons it was completely unecessary and distasteful.

Context is she's doing homework on Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde and was stuck on her 'relevance'. So I came in with Myra Hindley as the most hated British person in the last century (with crimes that go against what women are 'supposed' to be) versus Bonnie who is glamorous and celebrated (reinvented as blonde and sassy and romantic). Both with the common aspect of being in thrall to an older criminal man.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/02/2018 11:40

gussyfinknottle, I do take your point, 'coercion' was the wrong word, I actually meant 'collusion'.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:41

I do think Myra is unlikely to have murdered children if she had not met Ian Brady.

Buggeritimgettingup · 26/02/2018 11:41

What about Maxine Carr to compare to?

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 11:41

Interesting a pp mentions 9/11. I actively didn't mention it to my dd - we have NY family and visit them quite a bit. I have told dd now she is older.
Obviously we had to tell her about the Manchester Arena bomb. It is local to us and we have since attended a gig there.
I'm also in the "tell them straight " camp. There's enough nonsense circulating in the playground and I want to be the voice of honesty and clarity. However I pick my moments.
If it seemed relevant to dd, I would tell her.
But not the glamourised shit.

BishopBrennansArse · 26/02/2018 11:42

Maxine Carr didn't actually kill anyone, though...

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:47

Yes Maxine Carr is totally different. She believed her boyfriend and covered for him. Stupid and naive, but totally different to murdering chiildren.

ReanimatedSGB · 26/02/2018 11:48

YANBU. But deciding how much news/history to share with DC is a bit tricky. My 13 year old DS is going through a bit of an anxious spell at present, and I know I can't stop him being aware of news and wanting to talk about it, but I rather wish I could distract him more.
He is scared of death/gang violence/war etc and, unfortunately, there's only so much reassurance you can give a kid, these days. (Mine got threatened by a gang of older teens and one of them had a knife, which has ruled out the 'well it's not likely to happen to you dear' as a reassurance method.)

elisenbrunnen · 26/02/2018 11:50

confusedbeetle - you seeem to be saying that children/young adults shouldn't educated? That we should 'answer their questions' honestly (but not fully?) - but how can they know what to ask?

If we do not pass on the lessons of history, we forget then. To forget them is to let them happen again.

needmysleep75 · 26/02/2018 11:57

In year 10 ( 14/15 yr olds ) my daughter covered the Moors Murders, Fred and Rosemary West, Ian Huntley and others in RE.

I think your husband is being a bit over the top. Does she ever see a newspaper/the news on tv/online. She will be reading/seeing worse.
At that age I was really into true crime books, didn't do me any harm!

IMightMentionGriddlebone · 26/02/2018 12:13

I'd never say Myra Hindley was a victim - but objectively speaking she is far far more hated than Ian Brady - and I think that is to do with gender and media and society.

I agree that the public hatred for MH gors deeper.

The case of Maxine Carr is interesting in this context. It's almost as if Maxine Carr was pushed into the vacant role of High Profile Female Serial Killer after MH's death, even though she didn't have anything to do with the murders. Sometimes I wonder if the initials have something to do with it: Myra Hindley, Maxine Carr; Ian Brady, Ian Huntley.

Just recently I saw a front page news headline about her branding her as EVIL. You'd think she was a serial killer, yet the woman was convicted of perjury, for giving a false alibi.

Flobalob · 26/02/2018 12:18

Well I've touched on the subject of her with my two under 10s without naming names. This is because I want them to understand that strangers who do bad things to children can be women too, it's not just men. Plus, sometimes men use children or women to trick them into thinking that they're nice people when they're not.

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 12:21

Will say it again: round here, where it actually happened, they are hated equally.

italiancortado · 26/02/2018 12:23

Bloody hell at 14 I would be expecting to her to research and find her own relevance.

Yes it's totally fine for 14yo's to know about these things.

CakeOfThePan · 26/02/2018 12:25

I don't think theres anything wrong at 14, i don't think theres anything wrong at 6. You obviously would change what you tell them at what age.

I think women are thought of as the natural protector, the maternal side so when a woman goes against that society finds it more shocking, like they must more evil to go against nature. Whilst men don't get tarred with that.

sirfredfredgeorge · 26/02/2018 12:29

Rape and sexual assault are difficult to talk to 6 year olds about, as of course they have no frame of reference pre-puberty, but there's no reason to not talk about her as a murderer as much as you would about any other murderer.

Absolutely bonkers at 14.

IMightMentionGriddlebone · 26/02/2018 12:44

Will say it again: round here, where it actually happened, they are hated equally.

Oddly enough, I find that extremely easy to believe, to be honest.

The outrage of the great British public at large often has little in common with the feelings of people closer to the situation, who are better informed about what actually happened.

Clawdy · 26/02/2018 12:57

DH's uncle was a detective who worked on the Moors case, and listened to all the horrific tape recordings. He would never reveal all the details, but always said Hindley was a very willing participant, and in no way coerced.

FairfaxAikman · 26/02/2018 13:05

I have no doubt she was a willing participant, but (from what I've read) I'm not convinced it's a road she would have taken on her own - she needed Brady to bring her into it.

As for the original question- 14 is more than old enough IMV.

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 13:27

As for the "she wouldn't have done it without him" crap. Would you do what she did if your sicko boyfriend suggested it? She was an evil bastard and so was he.

FairfaxAikman · 26/02/2018 13:32

I did not think it was as simple as Brady suggesting it straight away. It was a gradual process of bringing out her dark side.

Read David Smith biography - he describes being "groomed" by Brady and believed Brady wanted to replace Hindley with him. I believe he would have done the same to Hindley.

JoeyMaynardssolidlump · 26/02/2018 13:32

14 she should be researching snd producing her own comparisons. Neither of you should be directing her research.

CecilyP · 26/02/2018 13:37

The 2 aren't mutually exclusive, Gussy. I doubt she would have done anything like that if she hadn't met Brady. Also doubt if many, if any, other women would have done it if they had.

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 13:38

While it sounds reasonable to let her research on her own., you need to offer guidance . Christ knows what internet rabbit holes she might fall down - this is dark, horrible stuff that happened to real children. Recently too. I shudder at the idea of relegating it to "true crime". Sorry, fans of "true crime". I hate that concept. It minimises it into a peep show in my opinion.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 13:38

Of course she is guilty. But often when two people murder together, there is one who would have been very unlikely to kill someone without the other person. It is a recognised phenomena.

WitchesGlove · 26/02/2018 13:46

Myra Hindley was hated more because of her behaviour after she was convicted.

She tried very hard to be released on parole; whereas IH never applied for it.

She showed no remorse either, she had an affair with a prison guard and tried to escape from prison.

She wasn’t honest about the number of victims until over 20 years after she’d been convicted.

Her voice on the tape with Lesley Ann Downey showed how involved she was- equally as guilty as IH in my opinion.