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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DD about Myra Hindley

80 replies

TheCatWearsOrange · 26/02/2018 10:46

DH reckons it was completely unecessary and distasteful.

Context is she's doing homework on Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde and was stuck on her 'relevance'. So I came in with Myra Hindley as the most hated British person in the last century (with crimes that go against what women are 'supposed' to be) versus Bonnie who is glamorous and celebrated (reinvented as blonde and sassy and romantic). Both with the common aspect of being in thrall to an older criminal man.

OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 26/02/2018 11:14

14 more then old enough

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 26/02/2018 11:15

More than old enough... Also you're talking to in context of her school work... Not for sensationalism....

It's interesting - society's narratives re women being caring /empathic /nurturing and those who dramatically and vilely don't reinforce these ideas...

Rosemary West too

HotelEuphoria · 26/02/2018 11:16

I thought you were going to say she was 7. 14 is not an issue, she could read about it herself, I used to read all sorts of grisly murder books at that age, in fact I was 13 and doing an evening paper round when the Yorkshire Ripper was still on the rampage.

Your husband is nuts.

Scootingthebreeze · 26/02/2018 11:19

I'm quite surprised to see large numbers of people saying they wouldn't tell a younger child about Myra Hindley. Whilst I don't tell them the gory details I am open with my children (and have been from 5/6 upwards) about there being bad people out there in the form of adults and children, men and women. I always make sure to balance it by saying there are far more nice people but I need them to understand you can't just think someone looks and sounds nice and therefore trust them. Perhaps my stance is partly due to my eldest having zero stranger danger so we've had to make them listen.

upsideup · 26/02/2018 11:20

My 10 year old knows who Myra Hindley is! Does she have no access to books, news, television, internet, people? I think when you send your children to senior school you need to be prepared that they can learn about pretyy much anything.

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 11:21

Please don't perpetuate the myth that this person was "in thrall" to an older man.
I live in the area. She wasn't a victim.

I was a baby when it happened. I knew about it at your DD's age, op.

Viviennemary · 26/02/2018 11:22

No I absolutely would not tell her. What is the point of bringing out these horrific crimes. If she had specifically wanted to know that's different. And it's probably all on line anyway.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:24

14, I am surprised she does not already know. 14 is not a young child.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:26

I do worry for the mental health of children protected from all negative things that have happened. As adults nobody will be protecting them and I suspect some of them will struggle as a result.

SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus · 26/02/2018 11:26

Why not tell her about Ruth Ellis? Last woman to be hanged and her crimes are more on a par with Bonnie's - murder of a "gangster" boyfriend if I remember correctly.

MarthaArthur · 26/02/2018 11:26

Its weird people on here think small children shouldnt know about murderers etc. Where i am from we knew all the famous ones from about age 5. We knew about the hollocaust and othdr such terrible things. Its just life bad stuff happens and children should be aware of it.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:28

Ruth Ellis murdered her partner who cheated on her. It is different as it was not an evil crime in the same way Myra Hindleys was.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/02/2018 11:29

I think it's fine. Children grow up to be adults and Myra Hindley was a child once. No need for details if your child is young but no reason to keep it secret.

I actually think that the 'sooner the better' to start letting girls know that this kind of coercion DOES happen and that it can lead to terrible things.

gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 11:30

Coercion, my arse.

Original poster
TheCatWearsOrange · 26/02/2018 11:31

I do tend to err on the side of 'giving it to her straight'. DH likes to give her lovely things. He reckons I treat her like my mate sometimes, rather than a child, and need to filter.

I'd never say Myra Hindley was a victim - but objectively speaking she is far far more hated than Ian Brady - and I think that is to do with gender and media and society.

DD reckoned that Bonnie was impossibly glamorised in the movie in appearance and back story, whereas Clyde was true-to-life.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCatWearsOrange · 26/02/2018 11:32

I don't know Ruth Ellis - I'll look it up (I'm also from Yorkshire - hence MH - otherwise I don't really know crime stories)

OP posts:
CallYourDadYoureInACult · 26/02/2018 11:33

If anyone likes true crime, the def should listen to My Favorite Murder, a comedy true crime podcast.
They covered the Moors Murders in that.

Confusedbeetle · 26/02/2018 11:35

I am out of kilter with the rest of these posts. I am a great believer in answering childrens questions simply and honestly. But actually there are some facts that are so horrible I wouldnt burden a young teenager with them. She hasnt asked for this info. The most I would tell her if she wanted to know was that she and Ian Brady were murderers. I remember since a teenager some of the details and they have tortured me ever since, throughout my bringing up my own children. You cant un know what you here, much like the Jamie Bulger facts. I wish I didnt know. It isnt over protective, and nothing like the tooth fairy. Why should she be burdened? She has the whole of her life to have to deal with these issues. There is new research to suggest children and young people are troubled by too much info about dreadful things, eg the Twin Towers. at worst it can make them fearful and mistrustful. If you do tell her keep it to minimum facts

SmashedMug · 26/02/2018 11:35

I agree with the not presenting Myra Hindley as some delicate flower who just couldn't resist what her man wanted her to do and/or was coerced. She was actively involved. It's similar to Karla Homolka.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/02/2018 11:35

I'm not saying that Myra Hindley was a victim, she wasn't, she was a willing partner to Bradley in these horrible crimes but somewhere, this woman learned to be a lap-dog because she wasn't the boss, was she?

That's what I meant.

Original poster
TheCatWearsOrange · 26/02/2018 11:35

No - Ruth Ellis is different I think.

The three key elements of Bonnie and Clyde are:

  • infatuated relationship
  • escalating spree
  • media circus
OP posts:
gussyfinknottle · 26/02/2018 11:35

Round here - where it happened- the hate of these two is pretty equal.

crunchymint · 26/02/2018 11:36

You don't have to volunteer the details. Simply Myra Hindley murdered children.

UrsulaPandress · 26/02/2018 11:39

Yes I reckon they are both equally hated.

OneTooManyBathtimes · 26/02/2018 11:39

My dad met Myra Hindley... misses point

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