Clean School Uniform

[CreekyOldKnee]

DD is 8 and in Y4.

She gets herself dressed, I now have pretty much nothing to do with this process.

Yesterday, I asked her if she had everything she needed for school the next day. Reply was yes but could do with some more pants and vests in a couple of days. So, I think that I can put a white wash on on Monday.

This morning it transpires that the only pants she has are too big and she's walking round the house like John Wayne pulling them away from her every 2 minutes whining loudly. They are a completely different pattern to the ones that do fit her so if she'd checked properly she would have known!

Me: well I asked you yesterday so you'll just have to put up with it today.

DH is getting stroppy about it bemoaning that it is our responsibility (by which he means mine as I'm the one who does the washing - not an issue, he does much more house work than me in general) to make sure she has a clean uniform.

AIBU to think that at 8 she's perfectly capable of working out whether she has pants for school? Surely this isn't too much to ask is it?

I always ensure my dc have well stocked wardrobes and drawers, so I always know of things are clean and fit.
My dc1 is 10 gets himself dressed and knows to put uniform on the laundry basket. He will check his football and hockey kit and ensure they go in the laundry basket after use. He will tell me if things feel tight like socks and undies, I tend to notice that hea outgrown stuff before he does and replace it.

I think you are expecting a lot for 8

I think expecting a child to get dressed and put his dirty clothes in the basket is the absolute minimum for a school starter. At 10 it's into Petit Prince territory.

My younger DD is almost 8. She has been putting out her own uniform the night before school for several years, with help to begin with. I know she has enough of most items to see her through the week. I do the washing at the weekend. She only has one school skirt and she knows that she needs to tell me when she gets in from school if it needs washing before the next day. But for underwear I know there’s plenty for the week, I see it as my job to ensure she has enough and I choose to organise at the weekend for the full week. I would expect her to let me know in the evening if she didn’t have enough clean for the following day.

A day in baggy undies might help her to understand and be more organised in the future, as long as they’re not so baggy that they will cause embarassment.

TBH I'd have thought that it was expecting a lot when my oldest was that age but now I have a teenager a pre-teen and a child that age is the youngest I realise it isn't that much to expect when it is part of the norm. DS2 is far more capable and switched on than his brother and sister were at that age and I have realised that the older two could have been far more capable of organising themselves at a far younger age than I gave them credit for. Trust me it is far easier to get a younger child into the routine of doing things for themselves than it is a teenager or older child who has always had it done for them.

She's 8, of course it's your responsibility. Check what she needs and don't be so lazy!

OP - I'm with you. Clothes get washed if you put them out to be washed since mine were around 8.

They have learned lessons that if they run out of clothes then this is more than likely because they haven't sorted it out for themselves. They know that if they have got something they want to wear and its dirty then they need to either organise me or do a load of laundry themselves.

Mine are absolutely more than capable despite their vocal moaning of it's so unfair no-one else has to do this

Omg. I still put the full outfit out for DD and she's 11. She literally wouldn't have a clue if there were clean pants.

I feel a bit ashamed.

Unfortunately she is and always has been a total nightmare in the mornings. She can barely function. It means that all but the most basic stuff doesn't happen 😬

Phew! Your post made me worried that I was babying my 8 yr old too much - I lay out her clothes for her the night before- she probably could monitor the washing cycle but it didn’t occur to me to ask her to! We have enough pants and white shirts that we usually just do one whites load on a Saturday anyway.

Do people really expect 8 yr olds to do a load of washing?
Maybe I baby mine then.
I make sure all the washing is done, and dd does put hers away. She only has 3 pairs of tights for school so let's me know when she's on her last pair.

I agree with alit if the messages on here
She is totally old enough to get herself organised and dressed in the morning but the washing planning I would still be involved it for a couple of years yet.

That seems a bit harsh. You asked if she had clean pants. She did. What did you expect her to do? Try them on in case they were too big?

Miss wimpy - my 5 year old does hers!!!!

When aged 7 my Nan's mother wa in hospital and she was responsible for getting younger siblings ready for school - and took a baby in a pram - then back home to watch the baby for the day.

This would be 1926.

Asking a child if they have pants is not a huge responsibility!!!

Her having the 'wrong' pants is mitt he end of the world and may remind her in future

I think you are BU.
shes 8. Yes they can dress themselves and should put the dirty stuff in the laundry.
Its up to you as her parent to keep up with the wash loads to make sure she always has clean stuff. Especially underwear.

My dd is 7 and in year 2. She has more underwear than she will ever need and I couldn't imagine asking her if she is low on such and such, she's a little girl, surely the onus is on a parent to make sure she has sufficient stock, liked or unliked, they are knickers.

My dd gets herself ready. I lay out her stuff every night and we have separate baskets in her drawers for school socks.
Also tends to wear quite plain underwear for school as didn't like it when she wore my little pony once and had PE that day and somebody laughed at them.

I'm all for independence but I still think whilst so young it's up to the adult to check.

I've bought 15 sets of vests and pants for DD2 (9) as that is the only way I can save my sanity. She gets her clothes out for the day the night before, is responsible for putting dirty clothes in the basket and putting clean, folded laundry away.

My younger DD is almost 8. She has been putting out her own uniform the night before school for several years

I think you may be slightly exagerating here!

I still check my 9 yr old has enough clean uniform... she is perfectly capable but often does a quick check and forgets to mention things are too small until she puts them back on!

I don’t know if you are being U but we
ask less of our kids these days and it’s maybe to their detriment

I usually leave all school clothes out as I have a similar Dd with favourite pants and socks that don’t fall down etc (quality is much worse now). So I leave it out the night before as I work and have three kids to get out.

I think I need to encourage more independence!

Blimey - my sons are 7 and 11 and would have no clue whether they had enough clean clothes for the week! I still lay out their clothes - maybe I need to be tougher!

Married if she's been doing it since she was 5 I don't see how that's an exaggeration

It's so much easier to train a younger child. If they are putting clothes in the laundry basket from when they are tiny then it becomes automatic. DD doesn't realise that there's an option to leave them lying around on the floor - its strip off for the bath, and put your washing in the laundry Every Time.

She is beginning to understand how to put a wash on at 5. She does it and I watch and help. I'd expect in another year she'll be able to do it herself although I'd probably still separate the washes.

I'm a single mother so everyone mucks in in my house - no choice. DD is more independent than other children her age but its because I think being independent is important and so I look for age appropriate jobs to give her. I'm no house slave.

Mollieben an 11 year old is def old enough to be able to put a wash on my themselves! It was one of the first things I taught my DS to do, and he's older now and it's just automatic for him to put a full load on when he needs to.

I'm behind on a lot of other stuff I should have taught him already - he can't cook, for example, though that's also because of a co-ordinating problem - but I though I'd get him started in good time on the easy stuff!