Clean School Uniform

[CreekyOldKnee]

DD is 8 and in Y4.

She gets herself dressed, I now have pretty much nothing to do with this process.

Yesterday, I asked her if she had everything she needed for school the next day. Reply was yes but could do with some more pants and vests in a couple of days. So, I think that I can put a white wash on on Monday.

This morning it transpires that the only pants she has are too big and she's walking round the house like John Wayne pulling them away from her every 2 minutes whining loudly. They are a completely different pattern to the ones that do fit her so if she'd checked properly she would have known!

Me: well I asked you yesterday so you'll just have to put up with it today.

DH is getting stroppy about it bemoaning that it is our responsibility (by which he means mine as I'm the one who does the washing - not an issue, he does much more house work than me in general) to make sure she has a clean uniform.

AIBU to think that at 8 she's perfectly capable of working out whether she has pants for school? Surely this isn't too much to ask is it?

Yes that was me - surely children can dress themselves aged 4 or 5! It one of the "getting your child school ready" recommendations.

Dress themselves, put their own shoes on, use the loo on their own - how do they manage at school if they can't do it?

Obviously she does have pants to wear - they're just not the ones that she wants.

You've completely missed your own point

The pants don't fit, which is the main point of your thread.

The pants are "a bit baggy". It's hardly the end of the world.

Whilst I think it's great to encourage independence, I think your expectations are too high for an 8yo. I think it's the parent's responsibility to make sure their child has what they need in terms of clean clothes at that age.

Ah sorry, see I'm off the mark. Perhaps you can both go through her drawers and remove any pants that don't fit. I usually do that every couple of months or so, as it makes things much easier in the morning.

I'm always a bit disappointed when an aibu op returns to say "I accept iabu. I will change my ways. Thank you."

I am sorry to disappoint

I'm always a bit disappointed when an aibu op returns to say "I accept iabu. I will change my ways. Thank you."

Doesn't stop there being five pages of big, shame-filled YABUs though

... it was a genuine case of not knowing whether I expect too much of her. So if a lot of mums think I am then I'm actually grateful for that input.

I promise she's not walking around with pants around her ankles!

Dressing is easy, but planning is hard for them. We used to eat breakfast in pyjamas to keep uniform clean, and dress in warm Living-room. Then we moved on to elder child dressing in bedroom. After that was established, on to sorting clothes the night before at bedtime, and laying them out in order of putting them on. She manages most of this herself, but I always double_check on my way up to bed a couple of hours later.

I "hide" a couple of pairs of pants and socks in the bottom of a cupboard as emergency pairs for when I've fallen behind with the washing. And I am ruthless in removing clothes that are becoming tight or are not quite grown into yet. That's the only way I manage to survive!

Where's this age 4 or 5 getting dressed coming from? Why is that relevant?

The girl in this post is 8. Read it properly and whilst it's great to get kids independent at a young age, the OP should be overseeing things a little bit better.

Tidy that's a good idea. Maybe I'll get her to lay out her own uniform the night before, then she has some responsibility but I can check it

Holly, the planet I inhabit is one where my kid doesn't go to school with knickers that are too big.
We have a horrible rush just like everyone else but I would rather miss my train (and grumble about it ) than have my daughter go to school with knickers that might fall down.
Tbh - we get it all ready the night before and I do a quick check.

Holly

Her knickers are not going to fall down. They're a bit baggy. She had completely forgotten about it by the time I took her to school.

I think my main question was whether checking for herself that she had everything she needed was too much responsibility for her. Not what to do about the pants - they're fine, just not the ones that are most comfortable because they're a bit baggy.

It obviously is as most people don't expect this of their kids at this age.

Sorry, that was meant for gussy not holly

They aren't falling down. They are "a bit baggy"

I maintain that by 8 it's not rocket science to know if you e got pants in the drawer or not

FWIW OP I expected my DSs to be able to assess their pants availability at that age. And mostly they were quite accurate. But they do make mistakes now and then, even now at secondary school. So there has to be Back Up Plans. And TBH it's these back up plans that are stressful - but then you do want them to learn, don't you?

OP I presume she usually manages the responsibility bar one slight wobble this morning about baggy knickers?

So why not just continue?

Go thru with her tonight and take out all the baggy ones that are too big. And buy a pack of the type she likes. Job done.

my 5 year old has to put out his uniform for the week on Sunday (5 pairs if boxers, 5 vests, 5 pairs of socks, 5 pairs of trousers, 5 shirts, jumper and tie.
You're not expecting to much - counting to 5 isn't that hard (and he dresses himself, including buttoned shirt and tie.

YABU

Clear her drawers and wardrobe of items that don't fit. Only things that actually fit should be there.

Buy enough items that fit.

Keep on top of washing and keep an eye on anything she could run low on.

All your responsibility.

The only thing I would expect of a child that age in this scenario would be to dress them self.

Yura noones said getting out uniform is a problem. However is the responsibility for checking there are clothes that fit OPs or the child. I think most children would just see pants and think "I have pants in my drawer." And it's a parents responsibility to check there are pants that fit available.

Getting them out is the easy bit!

That's why he has to do it on sunday, and put them
all out. he will notice he doesn't like the pants left (the op said the pants are ok, not falling down, just not great)

i'm an adult and I've messed up my own pant supply. I have comfy work pants and stupid 'attractive pants' and have had to go to work in really uncomfortable pants before now.

So I think you can probably cut her some slack

May be help her have a sort out and put all the bigger pairs in the bottom draw, out the way for a few months.

3 pairs from the bottom of the pile that fit her, get her to write herself a little note to tell you she only has 3 clean pairs left.

I'm all for kids doing things for themselves but it our job as adults to teach them HOW to do it! Xx