Clean School Uniform

[CreekyOldKnee]

DD is 8 and in Y4.

She gets herself dressed, I now have pretty much nothing to do with this process.

Yesterday, I asked her if she had everything she needed for school the next day. Reply was yes but could do with some more pants and vests in a couple of days. So, I think that I can put a white wash on on Monday.

This morning it transpires that the only pants she has are too big and she's walking round the house like John Wayne pulling them away from her every 2 minutes whining loudly. They are a completely different pattern to the ones that do fit her so if she'd checked properly she would have known!

Me: well I asked you yesterday so you'll just have to put up with it today.

DH is getting stroppy about it bemoaning that it is our responsibility (by which he means mine as I'm the one who does the washing - not an issue, he does much more house work than me in general) to make sure she has a clean uniform.

AIBU to think that at 8 she's perfectly capable of working out whether she has pants for school? Surely this isn't too much to ask is it?

Why didn't you just handwash her a pair?

It's a bit worrying that you automatically expect her to have adult planning capabilities. If I were you I'd be considering other aspects of her life too, and wondering if you were asking too much in many respects, not just pants.

Crikey. I don't expect my 11 year old to have that much of a grip on the washing situation. She wears it, puts it in the basket when she takes it off and we wash it.

She has pants on, they're not falling off her. They're a bit baggy.

She's actually not even mentioning it anymore - they're obviously not that bad.

Thank you all for your input, I'll change my ways and check everything myself from now on.

OP I'm sure I've read that 'thinking ahead' is something that even teenage brains have trouble with, so YABU to expect an 8 year old to know that they've got the right type of undies clean to put on...I think most parents of tweens and teens would agree that they often only think about what they need minutes before they want to wear them. Thinking about it, I know adults like this too.

Your poor DD.

My two are 7 and 9 and I ask them to let me know if there is no uniform for the next day. I don’t think that’s asking too much. I do generally wash everything at the weekend and make sure they have a weeks worth of stuff but I would expect them to say day before if something has gone wrong. I think that OK. That said for pants they have loads so unlikely to run out completely.

“Not the ones she wants”

That’s a cop out to try and excuse your own lapse. It’s not picky or fussy or unreasonable in any way to want pants that fit you and don’t fall down. That it your job to sort out

They're not falling down!

YANBU

Most kids can dress themselves for school in reception - I'm agog that by year 4 (and above!) pps think getting dressed on your own deserves a brownie point.

She's got knickers, she'll just have to suck it up that they're too big. Lesson learned.

Do why didn't your DH do this, if he thinks it's a matter for parental responsibility?

(I am not surprised that an 8 year old isn't sorted on this, but your DH is being a bit of a dick.)

your own lapse

That's a bit harsh! She asked the DD if she had enough pants for school, the DD said yes. It's not rocket science and I'd expect any child to be able to look in a drawer and confirm "pants there" or "no pants there"

My children are much older now, but I don't think the OP was unreasonable to think that as she had asked her dd to check her drawers for Monday and her dd had obviously checked enough to report that she needed some washing in a day or two that she would in fact be fine for school. Which she clearly was. All she needs to do next time is to say to her dd 'are you sure' and remind her of the baggy pants incident and then her dd will double check and it's unlikely that the same thing will happen again.

YABU and mean.

Tights will keep them up for a day.

Washing your DDs uniform and asking "do you have pants for tomorrow?" is mean??

How is it mean?

Mine certainly wouldn't have got themselves dressed for school at 4 or 5, especially with buttoned school shirts.

Ah it's all polo shirts these days though. Much easier.

I put the uniform out for DD(5) most days but if I didn't she knows where it's kept. I don't think it's unusual. It's only pants, tights, vest, polo shirt, pinafore and cardigan. It's not hard.

Can't you do a couple of temporary stitches to keep her pants up?

I do wonder sometime what planet people inhabit - you have time for all this drama and faffing before the school run, catching a train, getting to work?

I think realising that the pants in the drawer are too big is too much to expect but the rest of it seems fine. I ask my 7 year old to check she's got enough pants/socks/tights for school which she manages on her own. And all of my DC know they have to let me know in advance if they are getting low on pants because washing doesn't happen magically.

halcyondays

Year 4 isnt age 4, its age 8-9

Bloody hell - OP has said that she accepts that she is asking to much of her DD and that she was unreasonable yet so many of you still want to make her feel as thou she is a terrible parent.

In answer to the original question OP,

My DSS is 12 and is fully independent getting himself ready for school in the mornings, Black socks on, white socks for PE, books he needs etc. However, this is because the socks are in his drawers ready for him, and school uniform is hung up for him to put on. If not he would be shouting me asking where things were

I know, a pp said that most reception age kids could dress themselves, that's around age 4-5 I think?

Our primary school has a buttoned shirt and tie (elastic for younger dc) They did used to have a polo shirt but changed the uniform the year my dd1 started.

If they're hers not her big sister's or something and not falling down it's more a matter of favourite pants and non favourite pants. I think you're fine. Even if you had looked in drawer would you have know those were ones she didn't like? Maybe projecting here but what my 8 yr old seems too big or too small has little relation to reality.
My two are 8 and 5, if they haven't put uniform in the washing basket when I've told them 3 times to do it, I do consider it their responsibility if they run short. At some point they need to learn there isn't a laundry fairy who goes round hoovering up strewn socks.

Why has she got pants that are too big in her drawer? I think it's your/husband's repsonsibol ity to check she has enough pants and they fit.

Then if you ask if she has pants she's going to look in the drawer and say yes...

It's more an organisation problem on your/husband's part that yes she did have pants but they didn't fit. A new pack of 5 from the supermarket will help. We have more pants and socks than they need in the hope they won't run out.