Swimming changing

[hunkadunka]

My DC mentioned today that when they go swimming with school, they are supervised, they said 'watched', in the single sex changing rooms by a TA of the opposite sex. DC says it makes them feel uncomfortable. They are year 4.

Fairly obviously, I'm talking about a group of boys, being supervised by a female teacher. We both feel that a male member of staff would never be allowed to do this in the girls' changing room. There are no male TAs, so no possible male supervisor. However, again, I feel that if the sexes were the other way around, it would be deemed so unacceptable, as to be sorted in some way. There are male members of pool staff, but nothing to do with the school.

My DS knows about male privilege, and that girls would be more concerned about men in the changing rooms because our society sexualises young women, and we have a problem with male violence. We genuinely have these conversations. So I've explained that this is why it's seen as less of an issue having a woman in the boys' changing rooms. However, he feels that he and the other lads would feel more comfortable with male supervision.

Is my DS BU?

No cubicles, all open.

I was at primary in the 90s, we got changed for PE in the loos. I thought that was normal?!

I think a towel / robe thing might be the way forward OP. In an ideal world male supervision would be the answer, and I totally get what you are saying about if he was a girl. But you unfortunately need to weigh it up against the chance of having swimming cancelled.

I have a microfibre towel that has velcro to hold it around me that I use for swimming. It was fairly cheap from B&M.

Can't the teacher just stand by the door? So in earshot but not able to see? They don't need to watch surely.

I was a swimming teacher for over a decade and often taught school swimming. On the occasions that there weren't male and female school staff available, which wasn't often because there is an obvious need for both, a lifeguard of that gender would supervise. The pool, and it's staff, are being paid for the use of the centre and the council worked closely with the pools to encourage schools to attend (you'd be surprised about the number of schools that either had to be subsidised by the council for transport or just refused to attend sessions at all despite it being part of the curriculum). Although these were council run pools, I'm unsure if that makes a difference.

I changed under a towel; we had male and female TAs who would supervise us.

I'm not sure if a male teacher would be allowed to supervise female children now - I've been done with education for nearly a decade all in all - but he'll likely have to change in front of people when he's been swimming a lot, in gyms for example, so changing under a towel is the way to go if he wants privacy. The same would be true for females.

Teach him to wrap a towel around his waist, take off swimming trunks, quick rub down and pants on.

Turn his back to the rest of the room if he prefers.

I'm sorry but I think you're making a huge issue out of nothing OP.

When we went swimming the kids had cubicles so we couldn't seeing them anyway. Do they really need supervising. Someone just outside at the door maybe and chasing up lost property at the end but at that age they should be changing properly anyway.

Notenoughcushions I'm asking a question on social media, hardly raising it at PMQs.

I agree the pragmatic thing is to hide under a towel, and that's what I suggested.

His counter was that the girls don't have to. And he's right. And I would doubt any school would ever allow a man to supervise 15 naked 9 year old girls. So I see his logic. I know that is partly due to stats- women are much less likely to be paedophiles. But stats don't make him comfortable, and I get that.

It's a tricky one.

How bizarre. We always had same-sex supervision when changing.
I remember the sheet embarrassment when somehow I lost an item of clothing and might need to check the classroom where male teacher waiting for us to change for P.E. I was mortified. I obviously just his around the door in my sports bra and asked.
I can't imagine having had him supervising us.

I don't think DS needs supervising, no. I do think many in the class do, sadly, and that DS could suffer were they unsupervised. Cubicles not an option.

*sheer

*just poked my head around the door

OP I'm with you. I don't think any member of staff should be watching them change tbh but if they have to it should be same sex.

I say be glad there's a grown up supervising. When they stay outside, there's often some really shitty behaviour in the changing room.

Top and bottom of it is, we don't have enough male members of staff in schools to cover this. We really don't. I've worked in plenty of schools with no male staff members at all. If it were the other way around, eg all male staff, the school would ask for volunteers from the parents and get them dbs checked. However the only thing harder then getting volunteers who can commit to weekly commitments is getting male volunteers.
.

I was lucky enough to have a male volunteer help with swimming for this very reason. However I still stuck my head round the door once or twice to hurry them along. Mostly because if anything went wrong, it was still me that was legally responsible and I can't manage the children if I can't be in the space.

.

You're options are, ask if your ds can get changed in a private cubicle (may not be feasible depending on the pool), organise to get some male volunteers.

@hunkadunka I didn't mean to suggest that this was PMQs but sadly there are fewer male teachers than female in primary schools. So, you either withdraw DS from swimming or find a way to help him to deal with any perceived embarrassment. I am assuming that all adults are DBS checked etc.

As you've stated in your OP that there IS not staff member that the school could draft in to cover the role, what would your solution be?

It’s not a big deal and that’s what I’d tell my child in your shoes

Maybe you could enquire at the pool if they would be willing and able to have a male lifeguard supervise. If they would then you could present both the problem and solution to the school.

All the children I've supervised changing at the pool have changed under a towel, boys or girls so I'm not sure where the "girls don't have to" comes from-they just do it!

Whatever we do, we can't win, we have had complaints from parents that a male member of staff was in the boys changing room, that a female member of staff was in the boys changing room and that no-one was in the boys changing room! The staff in EITHER changing room try to be as discrete as possible, standing round the corner, facing the wall or staring studiously at the floor.

Personally I think it's one of those situations where if the children are fine with it it's fine, and if the children aren't fine with it then alternative solutions should be sought. No child should have to be uncomfortable when it's not necessary

The girls will be changing under towels, not matter who is supervising them.

I don’t really understand the private pants area in this setting. I understand a child should not show their bits to anyone they don’t want to, but why would this be limited to a woman TA? Maybe some boys would be more uncomfortable with a man in there? Maybe a man would be there and x doesn’t like him for whatever reason. Then this problem is just going to come up again.

Much better to teach changing under a towel regardless of who is minding them surely?

^^and keeping their private pants area, ummm private?

I agree that most girls will be changing under a towel regardless of who is there. Mine even put swimming costumes on over knickers and then take the knickers off in an act of contortion.

The school could ask for a male volunteer, although it would take time for a DBS to come through.

shouldwestayorshouldwego ha that made me laugh! I totally relate to the odd ways we can make our body move to take knickers off under various clothing