AIBU to ask if my 5yo son is to young to decide dancing is is hobby

[ConfusedWife1234]

My 5yo son is really into music. I have no idea why, because both my dh and me lack any talent, my dh is a good dancer and can sing but he does not really enjoy music.
He is always singing and dancing and when he was 3 he told us he wanted to be a professional contradancer when he grows up.
When he was three I enrolled him in his first dancing class because my cousins daughter went and he asked me to go there too. I thought it was an unusual choice of hobby for a boy but supported it. A year later I enrolled him in early music education (again because he asked me) and now he has asked me to enroll him in another children’s dancing class he heard of.
That would mean that he would spend three afternoons a week with music/dancing.

I wonder if this is a bit much and if he is missing our on things that would other boys his age do.

My boy is by the way much of a tomboy. He enjoys climbing, running and tussling with other boys. Enjoys it a bit too much. The kindergarten teacher has complained to me about him being to much of a tomboy.
So I first thought dancing was good for him, made him less of a tomboy... and it does. I saw him attend in a dance performance. Kindergarden teacher has complained a lot about him having trouble focusing. He was so focussed.

I just wonder if the hobby will make him happy in the long run and if there are not any other skills he should cultivate. I also wonder if other boys will make fun of him for it.

And actually I am not sure if he will grow up to have talent for dancing. There are several reasonably good dancers in booths my husbands family and mine but NO musician and no professional dancer... so what will he do if he one day discovers he has just no talent for dacing and spend so much time with the hobby.

Thanks for reading.

Would you even be questioning this if he were a girl? I think it’s great that he’s found something he loves.

MY dd knew at 5 that it was what she wanted to do but Ds didn’t decide until he was 13 that performing arts was his thing.

Just go with the flow & let him try things.

Relax he's a child enjoying an activity. Let him continue it if it makes him happy. Kids don't need to be put in gender boxes.

Also I thought tomboy was a term used about outdoorsy physical girls - don't think a boy can be a tomboy?

Let him do what he wants. You seem to be reluctant because you want him to be seen as masculine which is really sad. Also, talent is genetic, it's commitment, luck and really fucking hard work. He can do it, even if someone else he is related to hasn't.

I’m failing to see what the problem is. He loves doing it? Even if he decides he doesn’t want to do it further down the line, what’s the problem?

Would you have the same concerns if he had the same passion for football?

Talent isn't* genetic

Tomboy is a term used to refer to girls enjoying “boy” things. Don’t force stuff on your child - I somehow doubt you’d be feeling like this if he did tennis, football and swimming. Let the kid dance!!!

I think you should let him get on with what he enjoys for as long as he enjoys it.
Btw talent of any sort isn't hereditary. And boys cannot be tomboys. Tomboy is a rather archaic word for a girl who enjoys steretypically "boyish" pursuits. Hence the word being unneccessary and archaic.

Anyway, I'd leave your DS to get on with what he loves and stop overthinking it all.

At that age they fo what they enjoy, which may be totally different in 6minths time.
Ds loved his dancing at 5yo, at 6yo decided he didn't want t continue.

Btw tomboy is the wrong term. It's used for a girl who enjoys traditional boy things.

He’s 5. He’s got plenty of time to develop other interests. If he turns out to be not that great at dancing he can take up something else, or carry on just for the enjoyment.
I’ve no idea why you think boys shouldn’t dance. The way you’ve written this makes you sound like one of those people who think music/dance will “turn him gay”.
I think 3 after school classes a week is a lot for a 5 year old but you can have a go and drop one if he gets too tired.

You are way, way over thinking this. Your only concern should surely be if its a decent class he would enjoy and if you can afford it and make time for it in your schedule. He's only 5. Would you really only expect him to do a hobby that may lead to a profession?!

Stop trying to mould your son, he is his own person with his own talents and interests. If you can afford 3 classes a week then let him do the 3 classes he wants to do. Dancing is excellent exercise, brilliant for self expression and a safe happy hobby.

Just let him do it. As you say it's good for him learning to focus and it's good exercise.

For what it's worth, my siblings and I all work in music and our parents have no musical ability at all and are bemused as to where their children got it from

Think about the alternative and it might make it easier to decide: eg imagine saying 'I stopped my child doing something he enjoys because he's a boy'. Boys dancing is more common with the rise of street dance, it doesn't have to be tutus and ballet if he doesn't want.

If he enjoys it, and you can afford it, go for it!

He may keep it up, he may drop
It and get interested in something else, he might change tack and do Street Dance classes or something.

Get behind him and praise him for his commitment and achievements. Confidence will help him see off any comments, IF they get made in the first place.

Enjoyment accounts for a lot.

Great fitness and excercuse too.

My brother started dancing aged 4 when his horse riding teacher went on maternity leave. He pursued ballet right through royal ja's, white lodge and eventually professionally, although he's no longer dancing now. He also played rugby and cricket at school, the bagpipes
If your son shows interest then let him try. If your daughter wanted to dance or play football or rugby would you have the same concerns??

I think you got me wrong. I am not opposed to men who know how to dance. My dh is a good dancer and I think this is great. In fact I think everybody, man or woman, should know how to dance.

I just wonder if this is TOO MUCH because I do believe to much of everything is bad and because I wonder if he has enough time to cultivate other skills, play with his siblings and friends or just relax. He is in kindergarten until 16:30 everyday and has already on early music education and one dancing class and asked me to enroll him in a third.

Thanks for your info on the word tomboy btw. English is not my native language. I meant to say that is is a very wild boy, always on the move.

Plenty of boys at DDs dance school.
Dance develops coordination, discipline, ability to follow instructions and memory skills. Plenty of transferable skills that can be used later in life whatever he decides to do later. Plenty of pro footballers and rugby players do ballet to develop certain skills.

My five year old son loves dancing and goes to a Stagecoach group each week. I didn't think twice about him doing it, why would I? He also loves football, climbing on things and being generally boisterous. Dancing is great exercise, helps him use up some of his excess energy and he's learning how to work as part of a group, how to follow instructions, that sort of thing. I can't see anything about it that could be negative?

DS1 was the same and he still does Stagecoach now he's 12. No one has ever passed any comment about why a boy would want to do this - his group is about 40% male. It has given him a lot of confidence and he's enjoyed it lots over the years. He has dyspraxia, so his balance and coordination are not great - he's not the world's best dancer as he freely admits himself. But he does it for pleasure - good for him I say. Why on earth would I tell either son they can't dance when they enjoy it?

Smallest Actually he does not enjoy street dancing, but wants to be a contradancer. I am really not sure if this will be popular with the other children once he enters school.

Enrol him and see how he gets on, see if you have time as a family to do the extra classes. My DD does several extracurricular classes a week and Sunday is free to play, watch TV or anything else she wants to do.

If he is a wild child, full of energy you may be pleased for him to be going to activities where he can blow off steam.

I think if it gets too much for your DS, he will let you know. Just take his lead and be prepared to carry on or stop as he chooses (carrying on for as long as you can afford the classes, obviously). You may find that as school progresses he has less time or inclination, maybe, maybe not. Just take your cue from him.

If he wants to do it, then I think encourage it. What's a contradancer? I've never heard of that :)

As he gets older he might change to a different type of dance, In the UK country dancing is taught in PE.