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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Three child party??

106 replies

DailyMailFail101 · 23/02/2018 15:53

I have booked my son aged three a fourth birthday party for Sunday, I gave the invites out two weeks ago, out of 30children I have had 3rsvps. AIBU to still go ahead with the party, my son is so excited I haven’t got the heart to cancel it, but is it really a party with three children. It’s at a soft play centre I would still have to pay for all 30children as it was a special package offer. I’m so unsure of what to do, it’s made me feel really sad.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 23/02/2018 21:38

OMG, I'm dreading this kind of thing when DS is old enough...

Summercat · 23/02/2018 21:46

Hi Dailyfail.

I really genuinely hope that many kids turn up, and it's just a case of people being useless at RSVP-ing.

I have had kids parties in the past for mine, and sent out 12-15 invitations, and got maybe 3 responses. In most cases, around 65-70% turned up - so like 8 out of 12, or 10 out of 14.

Hope at least a dozen turn up and they all have fun, and your boy has a fab party. Smile

And yeah, it must have really got to my friend, only 7 out of 40 turning up. I mean, popping off to the loo to have a cry is awful. (I found this out a few days later from one of the other attendees, who heard her in the loo, sniffing, and stifling little sobs. Sad )

@Lizzie48

That really is very sad, Summercat how horrible some people can be, that poor lady.

I know right Lizzie! I have no idea why all those people didn't come. She was such a nice lady, and it surely cannot have been that she wasn't liked. I bet she thought they all hated her or something.

The 40 invited were a mix of hers and her husband's work colleagues, several friends, about 8 neighbours, and about half a dozen cousins and aunts. Her parents and grandparents (AND her husband's) passed a few years before, and her brother lived abroad, and so did her husband's, so family was few and far between.

7 out of 40 turning up. Very sad indeed....... Especially as not ONE of her 6 or 7 aunts and cousins came! OR any of her work colleagues (just an ex colleague who left her workplace a year earlier who she was still in touch with.) Sad

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:47

Same thing happening to me invited 11 kids from nursery only 3 have replied. No idea how many to cater for and worried I’ll have a heartbroken DD on her birthday. Seems to be common these days for people to not bother replying. It’s so annoying!

YesILikeItToo · 23/02/2018 22:02

Soft play is the perfect environment for a party with mystery numbers, though. When they’re playing in the structure , they’ll be happy with whoever arrives.

But be prepared for the ‘party room’ part - how can you cut that down to suit four of them if thats the reality- seat adults as well? Take them to the cafe instead? Would the venue organise games normallly? Some games might be better for smaller numbers - Don’t Eat Tommy Smartie is perfect for a small group, Pin the Tail would also be good - short queue and you can have a couple of turns each.

ChasedByBees · 23/02/2018 22:28

I hope it goes well for you OP. It’s so hard doing children’s parties and hoping they have fun.

Rhubarbginmum · 23/02/2018 22:51

In my book it’s only manners to RSVP to a party invite and to not leave it too late to reply but not everyone thinks like that.
I once organised a party for DS with entertainer with school friends plus other friends and his one cousin. I was doing the catering and at least half hadn’t replied up until the week before. I asked a few mums who had relied to ask other mums and I saw half a dozen other mums at the school gates and I asked them whether they had received the invite and whether their DC were coming.
One mum said ‘...we’ve got it but he’s not going’. ‘Oh I said I was just asking because you hadn’t RSVP’d’? She said ‘I Didn’t bother as he’s not going, so I didn’t think I had to’. I could hardly believe it and didn’t have a full class party again.
I am sure it will be fine but I would maybe text the 3 mums who have replied and see if they know if x that their dc is friendly with is going or if they have any mums telephone numbers if you don’t that may help put your mind at rest.

diddl · 24/02/2018 08:16

I think that that can be a problem with a class party.

People maybe think that so many are invited it doesn't matter if they decide on the day/turn up or not.

That said, anyone with a bit of sense knows that even for a small party at home stuff needs buying & organising.

"‘I Didn’t bother as he’s not going, so I didn’t think I had to’."
Ifind that rude, but would always assume no reply meant that someone wasn't going, as it's the numbers attending that are relevant.

Hellesbelles2 · 24/02/2018 08:42

Maybe text the parents of the children who have replied seeing if they have any siblings who want to come.

I've had this before where a parent has text on the day saying they've had a last minute cancellation and would rather a sibling got the benefit seeing that they had paid for the place anyway - might add some extra bodies and noise to the party room?

beepthemeep · 24/02/2018 08:48

People are so shit Flowers. DD is just getting to Party age and I'm bloody dreading it after all the things you see on here. How hard can it be to send an rsvp? Christ, even in a class of 30, that's a maximum of 29 quick texts in an entire year.

I agree, your lovely son won't know how many people are there, so don't cancel, just be glad you're not the kind of rude muppet who doesn't bother replying.

My brother once told me a story that haunted me - he was invited to a 21st party at uni. He wasn't close friends with the guy, but liked him; a lot of people seemed the same way. Brother couldn't make the party until really late because he had a job in a pub, but when he got there at midnight it was long over.

It turned out not one person had shown up. The poor birthday lad had his parents and DJ and bar snacks - and that was it. I was about 13 at the time and it made me sob!!

freakyspider · 24/02/2018 15:47

I have never heard of parents not RSVP'ing. And the. Just turning up? That's outrageous!!

Mossbystrand · 24/02/2018 15:55

Do you have a class Facebook page? Could you put a notice up there? Or could you ask the parents of those who confirmed if they have numbers for any of the other parents. Then you could text them a short message such as
'Hi it's X's mum here. It's his party at soft play tomorrow, need to confirm numbers. Is y coming? Thanks'

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/02/2018 16:46

its so rude

best way for a party is to mention date and time but not venue

and on invite - please contact me for venue details if you can make it

Rhubarbginmum · 24/02/2018 16:50

How did it go op? I hope your little boy enjoyed his birthday party.

ferntwist · 24/02/2018 17:01

Hope you do go ahead. I’m sure more will turn up than have bothered to RSVP. Very thoughtless of them though and stressful for you.

OuchBollocks · 24/02/2018 21:30

Good luck for tomorrow OP

ColourfulOrangex · 24/02/2018 21:46

I hope more people turn up OP and that your son has a great day either way :)

My DS has had a few parties and normally around 30 children are invited and I think the most that have RSVPd has been about 10 and once all 30 ended up arriving!

Crunchymum · 24/02/2018 21:55

Invites we receive now tend to say "please let us know if you can / cannot come" or words to that effect as RSVP doesn't seem to do the job anymore.

feeona123 · 25/02/2018 07:50

I do hope more turn up!

I've just done invites from my dd's birthday - she goes to two pre schools! The big one I invited 20 and 19 have replied. The little one I invited 8 and 4 can't go and 4 haven't replied!!! Good job she's goes to another pre school!!!

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 25/02/2018 08:04

Could you invite some neighbours, or other friends' children, or siblings of the kids who accepted? That might help to boost numbers

I'm surprised to hear on MN that so many people fail to reply to party invitations. Where we live, I would expect people to reply

Ikanon · 25/02/2018 08:13

DDs party is on Saturday. The teacher gave them out 3 weeks ago. Still had to chase 4 out of 15 up including my friend! Fortunately we have a WhatsApp group.

Brokenbiscuit · 25/02/2018 08:17

Hope the party goes well, OP. Flowers

listsandbudgets · 25/02/2018 08:17

OP Ive been through this. I cant promise what will hapoen but your DS os sure to have good time either way and thats what matters. We once had 4 responses and 27 arrive and another time 2 responses amd 6 arrive. People sadly are rude amd it seems to be entiry unpredictable.

However many turn up, I hope he has a lovely party. 4 year olds tend not to count the atrendees but worry about wbether they enjoyed it which I am sure he will.

Hold your nerve, lots of us have been there

Badhairday1001 · 25/02/2018 08:34

Good luck for today op, hope your son has a great time.
I agree with everyone saying that you often get non rsvp'ers turning up.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 25/02/2018 08:39

IME people don’t RSVP then turn up with their DD/DS and a sibling or two. Good luck for today. :)

lizzlebizzle33 · 25/02/2018 08:41

If you really think they won't show up I would cancel but then go anyway and pay for your son and his friends to have a good time.