AIBU to think the government should be investigating my super-vision?

[k2p2k2tog]

Because I am the only person in this house who can see school bags, pieces of Lego on a floor which has been tidied, milk in the fridge, favourite shirts in the wardrobe and whether the dishes in the fucking dishwasher are clean or dirty.

I think I may have this too! Mine extends to biscuit crumbs/raisins on every available surface, socks strewn around and a permanently overflowing bin!

I am thinking of changing my last name to whereis

"Mummy whereis...?"

Just think of the possibilities, you could be a top spy.

Mine too. I'm the only one that can see the washing basket is full, the recycling needs emptying and there's cold, dirty, greasy water in the sink. Usually with one lone spoon in it.

The number of times someone looks in the fridge and says "Mum where's the milk" when there's a carton JUST WHERE IT ALWAYS IS.

Quite like the idea of being a spy.

I believe I also posses that skill

I’ve been in bed for a week, went downstairs yesterday and am thinking about having a weeks relapse. “Cleaning” the kitchen doesnt mean hurling everything into the utility room and covering the dining table in washing. Pass the painkillers..

I have found my people , I thought it was just me and I was the "chosen one" with these super human powers to see mess no one else can see !

I’m the queen of what to do next.. have you put your pants on? Brushed your teeth? Eaten your breakfast? Got your school bag? Library book? It’s bloody exhausting as otherwise everyone just sits there and waits for further instruction.

DH stands in the middle of a room, hands on his hips, and gazes around forlornly for 30 seconds.

"Have you seen my wallet/gloves/left shoe?" he asks. "I can't find it anywhere."

Yes, well, it might turn up a lot faster if you'd ACTUALLY FUCKING MOVE THINGS TO LOOK FOR IT INSTEAD OF STANDING IN ONE SPOT.

I am a master finder.
DH once couldn’t find his grey suit, I told him it was in the wardrobe, nope not there, cue him accusing me of leaving it at the dry cleaners, and even lending it to someone and forgetting to get it back (I’ve never lent a single piece of his clothing to anyone ever!) when I eventually ventured upstairs, guess what was hanging in the wardrobe?!!

My kids seem to have inherited this trait from thier father also.

Also includes being the only one to see when the washing needs done or the bin needs emptied.

@amusedbush my DH does this too!

He says it makes sense to ask me rather then waste time looking, cos I might know where it is.... the fact that it his stuff, he was the last one to touch his stuff, seems to be irrelevant!

Gives me the rage!

Happies

I find myself saying things like, "if I get up off this sofa and it's where I said it is five minutes ago, I'm going to be really angry!"

I seem to have the ability to turn an empty loo roll into a full one.

I'm still pissed off about the time I found DP's "lost" wallet for him.... in the pocket of the trousers he was fucking stood wearing.

Save me from this Hell someone.

Avonandice Steady, people have been burned at the stake for less.

@amusedbush 😂

Reminds me of this

I have the same affliction. Fortunately the kids are adults and only one lives at home.....so it's just my dh who constantly can't find anything.
I often get accused of moving his stuff that he can't find.
They always ask me where something is before they look for it.
My default answer is that I don't know where it is even if I do

I also have this superpower- mines extends to being the only human in my house who can see the fuckton of crumbs on the kitchen bunker post-toastppocalypse.
Apparently I am the superior oracle in sock ownership as well and therefore am the gatekeeper of all those that must be paired.

DH has a magic chest of drawers. It's empty when he looks in it, but when I look in it, there are all his t-shirts, neatly folded.

It has some sort of magic property that prevents him from putting anything in it, too.