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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Paying for the best man on a stag do

45 replies

dreamer1990 · 23/02/2018 04:08

I'm going on a stag do (gay wedding) in a couple of weeks and the best man, a close friend of mine, has just sent us an e-mail of the price breakdown.

We're doing activities and the price is £42 but he's asked us to pay for the groom (which I don't mind) so the price becomes £46.

We have to fill in a form, which the best man's e-mailed to us, and make an online bank transfer to the activities company.

But when I look at the form, with everyones names on it, the best man's name is there and next to it say 'FREE PLACE!'.

Then when I read the terms and conditions it's says that for every 10 people you get one free place. So the best man has taken it upon himself to take the free place Angry.

AIBU in that I think the groom should get the free place and the best man should damn well pay for himself. Now it feels like I'm paying for the best man to come on the stag.

I'm not sure what to do. As I don't know most of the stag group, if I send a reply all, I don't know if they'll all think I'm being mean, which could very well result in a terrible, and possible unrecoverable, first impression.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 23/02/2018 04:11

Eugh. That's not on at all.

Crunchymum · 23/02/2018 04:17

For £4 I'd suck it up.

SilverBirchTree · 23/02/2018 04:21

Not cool! Since he’s a close friend, can you raise it with him?

I’d write back saying ‘the free place is for the groom, ya noodle. Do your maths again.’

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/02/2018 04:42

Very cheeky.

Depends on how you think he will react if you call him out on it as to what you should do though.

If he is the type who will go OTT, probably not worth ruining the grooms evening for the sake of £4.

ClareB83 · 23/02/2018 04:47

Are you sure the usual price is £42 and he hasn't spread the discount of the free place amongst you all already?

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/02/2018 05:03

Write what SilverBirch said.

pasturesgreen · 23/02/2018 05:08

The best man is a CF. That said, only you can tell whether it's worth the aggro over £4.

JennyOnAPlate · 23/02/2018 05:23

I would have to raise it with him. "Surely the free place is for the groom? I think your maths is wrong!"

DalekDalekDalek · 23/02/2018 05:37

Insanely cheeky but people can be crazy buggers. For £4 is it worth the hassle though?

TheButterflyOfTheStorms · 23/02/2018 05:39

Is the grooms name on there at all?

XiCi · 23/02/2018 05:42

Before you go in all guns blazing I'd check whether he has taken the free place but divided the total cost between all of you except the groom so you all benefit from the free place. I imagine that's what most people would do, you'd have to be a right cf to take the free place for yourself

pictish · 23/02/2018 06:20

I’d just ask...in a ‘genuinely confused’ fashion.

“It says on the T&Cs that there’s one free place for every ten people. So (groom) is covered already isn’t he? Or am I wrong about that?”

pictish · 23/02/2018 06:23

I would normally say it’s not worth digging your heels in over a few quid but I dunno...this is quite cheeky isn’t it? Or perhaps he thinks that as he has taken the time to organise everything he is entitled to it.

NewYearNewMe18 · 23/02/2018 06:27

Am I missing something - surely there are two grooms?

Hesburger · 23/02/2018 06:30

Could it be that the best man has laid out some money on refreshments or items for the stag do already?

Maybe he is using the free place to reimburse those costs?

bimbobaggins · 23/02/2018 06:57

Yes I would say surely that the groom has the free place? Who wouldn’t question this? It may only be £4 but that may only be the start of the free things he’s expecting

user1471517900 · 23/02/2018 07:01

New Year - two grooms can still have two different stag dos for their respective sets of friends.

PanPanPanPing · 23/02/2018 07:05

Perhaps it just says Free Place against the best man's name because he's organised it, but, as PPs have said, maybe he's already spread the 'discount' between everyone anyway?

bimbobaggins · 23/02/2018 07:10

But the activity is £42 and he’s added on £4 to cover the groom so not spread any discipline.

bimbobaggins · 23/02/2018 07:14

Discount!

ChasedByBees · 23/02/2018 07:16

This is so cheeky. I bet others are thinking the same. It might only be £4 but it does start the weekend on a sour note.

SunnySeaShell · 23/02/2018 07:17

That's cheeky! I'd be absolutely certain that he's not split out the discount already and then send a 'witty' response as already suggested!

PanPanPanPing · 23/02/2018 07:18

That depends on whether the best man has told everyone that it's £42 per head, or whether the form actually says it's £42 per head, IYSWIM?!

TenThousandSpoons · 23/02/2018 07:21

He might have already spent £40+ on other stag things (food/booze for all?) so decided rather than asking for more money he’ll just take the free place to even things up. But no harm in the “isn’t groom free?” qn. Could be framed as a helpful message to make best man’s job easier rather than a challenge.

DoraMilaje · 23/02/2018 07:21

It's not really about the fact that it's only £4, it's the face that everybody else has to pay full price and he doesn't. That would leave a really bad taste in my mouth.