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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say he can’t go

58 replies

User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:12

My 30th is coming up. I wanted to go skiing for it but boyfriend reckoned it was too expensive, so we are doing a cheaper (but still lovely) family holiday. I am also having a weekend away with friends which is costing around £200.

Boyfriends 30th is next year, so I was asking earlier what he wanted to do. He said he was thinking about a big group skiing holiday (a couple of his mates are also turning 30 next year). I said it sounds good but he was being a bit cagey about it, so I asked a few more questions and it turns out he is planning a lads only ski trip, to super expensive resort, flying business class!!

I said he can’t do it and he’s really pissed off and says I’m unreasonable and a hypocrite because I’m having a holiday with my friends. So I said if he can do his lads ski trip for £200 he’s more than welcome to go. He has stormed off out.

Angry
OP posts:
covetingthepreciousthings · 22/02/2018 21:16

YANBU, I would not be happy if I had to change my original plan of going skiing to suit him for him to then end up going himself anyway...

Crispbutty · 22/02/2018 21:16

Yanbu and he is a hypocrite

aproblemsharedandallthat · 22/02/2018 21:16

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I would be the same. Why should it be one rule for you but another for him. Hope you get it sorted Smile

Trinity66 · 22/02/2018 21:17

I'd be pissed off that he stopped you from going skiing but then decided it wasn't too expensive for him :/

pasturesgreen · 22/02/2018 21:18

Double standards, much? He has some cheek calling you a hypocrite! You are definitely NBU, what he's planning is not on.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 22/02/2018 21:20

It sounds as if money is not too much of a consideration so go ahead and book your ski trip. And have your weekend away.

And ditch the 'boyfriend'. He obviously doesn't have a lot of respect for you and your feelings.

PurpleDaisies · 22/02/2018 21:21

I can totally see why you’re annoyed. How do your finances usually work? I’m guessing they’re separate so I can understand why he doesn’t want to be told what to spend his money on.

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:21

I’m so pissed off! I would have been happy with budget ski too, not 5* holiday of a lifetime skiing. Angry
I can’t believe he has the nerve!

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 22/02/2018 21:21

Ummm wow. And you are asking if you are being unreasonable?! For not asking him to leave for a few days while you think about how he can think you are worth so little, then yes maybe YABU .

NailsNeedDoing · 22/02/2018 21:21

He's a boyfriend, but you have kids together to enable you to go on a family holiday? You need to explain more about the dynamics before I can decide if he's BU.

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:23

no we have a joint account and a 5 year old so unfortunately not too easy to ditch him. I am sorely tempted at the moment.

OP posts:
user1474652148 · 22/02/2018 21:23

I am assuming his 30th therefore is so much more important than your 30th clearly?!!!
And then to storm off? You have more patience than me!

KarmaStar · 22/02/2018 21:23

Tell him you will be having exactly the same holiday as he is,with the girls!

CapnHaddock · 22/02/2018 21:24

That's a two grand holiday he's planning.

WineAndTiramisu · 22/02/2018 21:24

He's definitely being unreasonable.

FreeNiki · 22/02/2018 21:25

I wanted to go skiing for it but boyfriend reckoned it was too expensive, so we are doing a cheaper (but still lovely) family holiday. I am also having a weekend away with friends which is costing around £200

Do you normally allow your bf to tell you what you can and can't have budget wise for yourself. What is it to him if it is not his money being spent.

Only for him to then blow the budget on his and not even invite you.

Do you really want to spend your life with someone who views you and your life events as less importnant than his?

TheRagingGirl · 22/02/2018 21:28

Ooo he’s very selfish.

Clearly, your skiing holiday was too expensive because he wants the money for HIS skiing holiday.

He’s the hypocrite (you know this) and selfish.

RandomMess · 22/02/2018 21:28

Reason you can't afford your ski trip is because he has to fund his!!!

YANBU

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:30

You have more patience than me!
Actually I don’t. My patience is all run out. There’s not a chance in hell he is going on that holiday, if he wants to continue in our relationship.

freeniki we have joint finances. And no, I’m really not sure that I do. I’m furious. Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:32

Reason you can't afford your ski trip is because he has to fund his!!!
Shock that hadn’t occurred to me-but you are right. Think I was too pissed off to think straight.

OP posts:
AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 22/02/2018 21:33

Bloody hell, what a bellend! ShockAngry Hmm

frasier · 22/02/2018 21:35

"That's a two grand holiday he's planning"

And the rest

Gemini69 · 22/02/2018 21:38

oh christ he is a selfish nasty prick ... Flowers I'm actually speechless for you OP Hmm

Awrite · 22/02/2018 21:38

YANBU

Quite clearly. The man is must think you are really stupid if you will accept being called a hypocrite for stopping him for going skiing by someone who prevented you from going skiing.

He thinks he's the boss. He thinks he is important but you are not.

I hope you remain firm in your anger and don't allow him to skew your thinking. That way resentment lies.

grumpy4squash · 22/02/2018 21:41

Not really the point, but why on earth would they fly business class for a skiing trip? That would add loads of cost for barely any gain.