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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say he can’t go

58 replies

User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:12

My 30th is coming up. I wanted to go skiing for it but boyfriend reckoned it was too expensive, so we are doing a cheaper (but still lovely) family holiday. I am also having a weekend away with friends which is costing around £200.

Boyfriends 30th is next year, so I was asking earlier what he wanted to do. He said he was thinking about a big group skiing holiday (a couple of his mates are also turning 30 next year). I said it sounds good but he was being a bit cagey about it, so I asked a few more questions and it turns out he is planning a lads only ski trip, to super expensive resort, flying business class!!

I said he can’t do it and he’s really pissed off and says I’m unreasonable and a hypocrite because I’m having a holiday with my friends. So I said if he can do his lads ski trip for £200 he’s more than welcome to go. He has stormed off out.

Angry
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2018 21:42

All I can say is get your own bank account for your money. As soon as humanly possible.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2018 21:42

YANBU. I'd be re-evaluating the relationship.

Plainlycrackers · 22/02/2018 21:44

Wow he really does take the biscuit... that is a seriously expensive ski trip.... way more than £2K. He needs to be asked what he would say if he were in your shoes, and to grow up!

gillybeanz · 22/02/2018 21:45

Too expensive for you, but not too expensive for him.
Yours is the family holiday and his is with his mates, not even with you.
Is he always so selfish?

CapnHaddock · 22/02/2018 21:46

Okay, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, assuming a weekend. A week is more like 4

brizzledrizzle · 22/02/2018 21:47

He doesn't need your permission to go, just like you didn't need his.

He's being a complete twat.

tafftum · 22/02/2018 21:47

YANBU.
What an awful, selfish thing to do.
Tells you that you can't go skiing but then books it for him and his friends?!
Business class too, that's completely taking the piss.

magoria · 22/02/2018 21:47

Is it too late to book your skiing trip?

Doesn't have to be for your birthday if it is too late for that, just the one you wanted but settled for something cheaper because he is a selfish arse.

lunar1 · 22/02/2018 21:49

There are no words for what a cunt he is!

gillybeanz · 22/02/2018 21:50

I couldn't be with someone like this, father of my children or not.
You're worth more than this. Sad

Ragusa · 22/02/2018 21:53

Yuck. He is revolting. Get rid and book your own bloody ski holiday while you are still able to draw on joint finances. And make sure it's to Megeve or ... Nozawa Onsen or somewhere.

BewareOfDragons · 22/02/2018 21:53

He sounds like a hypocrite and a jackass.

I can't imagine being told I couldn't go on a ski trip with my friends to celebrate my 30th because it cost too much, but to then have my 'D'P turn around and tell me that it was ok for him to do the same for his 30th. Furious would be an understatement, and it would not be happening.

Total jackass.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 22/02/2018 21:54

Business class is way OTT for a ski holiday with the lads.

For me it would depend on who is paying for the breaks with friends. The family holiday would be a joint cost but a break with friends would be down to the individual to fund.

Hard to say without the details.

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 21:55

Not really the point, but why on earth would they fly business class for a skiing trip? That would add loads of cost for barely any gain

They like showing off. Wankers.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 22/02/2018 21:57

YANBU.
What a selfish tosspot

Muchtoomuchtodo · 22/02/2018 21:59

Has he reappeared yet op?

speakout · 22/02/2018 22:00

Let him go.

He is simply making his own noose.

And move your money out of the joint account.

You will be needing to separate your finances soon anyway.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 22/02/2018 22:01

Oh dear, what an arse - a selfish one at that Hmm

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 22:03

He doesn't need your permission to go, just like you didn't need his
Actually he does need my permission. I can’t cover his share of school pick ups, etc. He has responsibilities that I will not be taking annual leave to cover for him. Also we have joint finances so he’d be paying with my money.

Is it too late to book your skiing trip?
Yes unfortunately. We have a week in the canaries already booked and I it’s too short notice to get extra time off work for another holiday within this season.

He hasn’t booked anything yet and he won’t be if he plans to stay living here.

OP posts:
Koala72 · 22/02/2018 22:03

Yours was too expensive because he is saving for his : D

Original poster
User14567891 · 22/02/2018 22:06

Has he reappeared yet op?
I texted him to ask him to stay out tonight. I’m off with DS tomorrow so don’t want him ruining our nice day together.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 22/02/2018 22:07

He hasn’t booked anything yet and he won’t be if he plans to stay living here

good for you.. Flowers

BadLad · 22/02/2018 22:08

What a twat.

HermionesRightHook · 22/02/2018 22:08

Fuckssake. He's a prick.

Why on earth didn't he suggest a luxury ski hol for the family for both of you if that's what he wanted to do? You could leave your child with family but 5 is plenty old enough for ski school, especially if you invited a few other adults to help with babysitting.

Also business class for a ski trip is bloody silly. Decent airline standard or slightly posher than standard with extra baggage allowance, if you feel like being spendy, sure. But business class??

gillybeanz · 22/02/2018 22:10

Separate your finances now, sort out childcare with him out of the equation.
If he comes back, tell him he needs to leave to give you time to think.
There's absolutely nothing stopping you getting rid of the selfish prick.
Does he always make financial decisions about what you both can and can't afford?

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