A man just shouted at me in the street

[Dallia]

“Why are you wearing a curtain?”

I kind of smiled awkwardly and carried on crossing the road to him shouting “oi, you, I’m talking to you!”

I was absolutely mortified, lots of people were watching but no one said anything.

Why do people do this? He seemed like a “normal person” and it was really intimidating. He turned back to look and I thought he was going to start following me. Has anyone ever had weird random things shouted at them in the street, or is it just me

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

Victorians

8am at a bus stop, wearing jeans and a massive puffy coat and a man just looks at me and says ‘tasty’.

Why? What is tasty? Does my coat make you think of food?

Another ginger here who has been screamed at in the street for being, well, ginger.

I've been known to tell them to fuck off until their balls have dropped (as it's so often teenagers, sadly). Little shits.

Its horrible isn't it @Spudlet?

Another ginger here who has been screamed at in the street for being, well, ginger

Burst into the chorus of Tim Minchin's Prejudice. It is a great song and has a lot of power. I've sung it at pub music nights.

My best every comeback was to a young man in a white van who wound his window down as he passed me on my horse and said "Do you get a thrill from riding that horse". It's hardly a new line so I just calmly replied, for all to hear "a bigger thrill than I would ever get from you". He wound the window up and drove off.

I’m also ginger and the things some men say are just disgusting.

When I was younger (I’m talking 11-14) grown men would ask me the usual “do they match?” Call me a ginger minger etc. I was unfortunate enough to have glasses and freckles too (not that there’s anything wrong with that - it just makes you a target for these idiotic wankers)

I remember bumping in to an old school “friend” in a club when I was 20. He recognised me and was like “wow the ugly duckling thing is true!”

I took great pleasure in pretending not to know who he was and asking the bouncer to get him away from me. He was escorted from the premises

This makes me so angry. So many women I know have experienced this, in various forms. I can remember horrible comments from 20
Years ago and how it made me feel.

I know there must be some women who do it too, but you never really hear of it.

Why the fuck these absolute clowns think we need to be told we're too fat, thin, ugly, pretty etc and why their opinion matters, I don't know. Disgusting.

I've had loads of incidents like these.

One particularly stands out. I was 17 and coming home from college, a man on the bus asked me to go to a party with him. I said no thanks, he started insulting me, told me to go and fuck myself, called me a silly slag, and told me my outfit was worth 50p.

I find the following helpful:

‘Thank-you for sharing’ and if needing a more robust response a shoutout of ‘micro-cock’ or ‘excrescence’ usually dumbfounds the thick fuckers.

Last year I was away for the weekend. Wasn’t feeling well, but took the dogs out for a 30 min walk.

I was in an unfamiliar place (very rural) and got to a point where the footpaths crossed and decided to head back.

Slightly behind me was a much older man with his dog.

He kindly told me that if I walked for an extra few minutes I could save a fortune at weight watchers (I did 2 50km events in the months immediately preceding so have no doubt on my walking ability - although I do need to lose weight).

It floored me - I thanked him for his kind words, but went back to our accommodation and sobbed.

I have had this so much since I was about 14. I am now over 50. Why can't these men keep their views to themselves?

I was in the post office - hardly a pick up joint and one old white local man said my cardigan was quite short (last summer, warm day). What business of his is it? It was an old thing I pushed on quickly as I had urgent work post to get sorted out. I can wear what I like in the post office. SO as I'm over 50 and not 14 I didn't let it pass... so I said yes it was annoying women's clothes don't seem to get as much material as men's not even pockets and then I turned it on him and started talking about his own caridgan - he had a large one one and I looked at it and tlaked about how long it was.... laughing as I type... and why not - let us turn all this back on to these men.

Walking down a beach on holiday on my own a man said I should put my sandals on and next day a man said I should take them off because the sand was nice. Can't they just keep these thoughs to themselves? Don't get me started no what they say about my breasts from age 14 - 50 (they are quite large ... sigh and I cycle sometimes which seems to bring out the worst in men, big breasted women on bikes)

if needing a more robust response a shoutout of ‘micro-cock’ or ‘excrescence’ usually dumbfounds the thick fuckers.

If needing an all round comeback at short notice, "who taught you to walk on your hind legs" is useful.

Was getting DS1 out of the car with my sister when he was about 6mths old. We were in front of our mum and dads house when the scrap metal men came round.
The asked whose the baby was and I said he was mine.
They then offered to "babby me up again".

Yes I want a stranger to fill me with his low-life catcalling seed. Thanks.

Why do people do this?

People?
In my experience, it's men who do this. Not 'people'

Why do they do this? Because everything in our culture tells them that they are entitled to treat women really, really badly. They are the tip of a huge iceberg.

And also because they are extremely inadequate men.

Good so much of this and starting so young, how I hatred it.

Was out with DH couple years back and a car was beeping and he said can't you hear that? And I said yes but I try not to react at all if I hear a beep and definitely not turn and look. And he said what it's someone you know or a warning and I was like well, experience tells email nothing good comes of turning to look if there's beeping. It was so ingrained I sort of only half realised I did that. He was boggled. Anyway. When they beep suddenly right next to you do it makes you jump out your skin, that's something I really disliked. We'll and all the shouting swearing obscenity, but when they deliberately give you a fright like that, is crappy.

Sorry spelling, phone.

Yes the collars and cuffs stuff, I'm blonde, that and red hair seems to be a magnet for these arseholes.

I used to have a one-way windy narrow lane as part of my commute to work. A man in a small white van came the wrong way along it (people did this as it was quiet in the day). He was blocking my path so I pipped the horn and wound the window down to tell him he was going the wrong way and he'd have to back up a bit so we could pass. He waited till I was nearly past and then shouted "You, you, you...fucking slaaaag" despite me shifting into a hedge to let the idiot get by.

My usual retort is "micropenis!". It really stuns them for a moment.

I have taught dd1 (18) how to give a resounding "go fuck yourself" and will do the same with DDs 2 & 3

This is in no way a criticism of you, Namaste, but it is so unbearably sad that in 2018 we have to teach young women to do this.

Why do men do this? Outside of the power aspect because I don't always think it is about power but just why?

I used to have short blonde hair and men would always make a point of asking me what I had 'done to myself'. What the fuck does that even mean!?

A man once shouted to at me 'the things I'd go with that peachy ass' and some other things I'd rather not repeat, out of his van whilst I was walking past on my own at night. He was old enough to be my Dad and quite scary looking. I've never been shaken up before but that really did shake me up.

I don't know why people think they have the right to shout things at other people. He didn't know I had been attacked before and it was actually quite a big thing me going on my own in the dark (I know, pretty sad). People don't know what others are going through so why shout things that may make some upset or scared?

Some that do stuff like that are neither mentally ill nor on drugs, they're just assholes.

I always wear headphones when out by myself
I don't always play music, since I consider that unsafe in many situations. But the presence of headphones sends a clear "I can't hear you, so don't bother." message. Brightly coloured headphones send the message even more clearly as they're hard to miss.