To ignore my cat's cries of distress? LIGHTHEARTED!

[SneakyGremlins]

His food bowl is 2cm to the left of where it "should be", in his eyes. HE moved it

Ever get that feeling that you're being watched?

She loves cuddles but also lashes out when scared. Which is often. Hates having her chubby fluffy body desecrated by medical examinations and spot-ons.
I was giving her a spot-on once. As she was growling, hissing and trying to shred my hand, my knight in white and black fur who considers me HIS was watching it with indignation. Then he approached her from the back and bit her in her butt.
Clue surprised look on her face. The world froze. Followed by two cats running like mad around the kitchen, chasing each other while I was standing in the middle with the spot-on in my hand.
I can laugh about it now.

He would also be sitting in front of the balcony door in lashing rain and freezing wind, only to give out to me when I finally open the door. The cat flap which is just 6 feet away was apparently swallowed by a huge dark hole.

His rightful place. Every single night. At least he doesn't snore, unlike the chubster.

Our last time visit to the vet for their annual check-up. The older veteran of cat wars hates it so we had to hide the crate and ambush him. The bastard with his sixth sense. He hid under our bed. I bravely dragged him out, tried putting him in the crate DH was holding vertically. He sank his claws into my underarm and ended up hanging there like an Olympic gymnast, resisting all attempts to release and get into the crate.
He was all good at the vet and complimented on what a big lovable placid boy he is. I told them the story of their colleague who was examining him after his last fight, with my gansta boy growling and then hissing at him. The vet refused to treat him till the nurse came with a pair of builders gloves to hold him. He is over 13 pounds of muscle and bones.
The younger one spent the check-up with her paw stretched out, with me holding it. Not because I love her so much, she was just trying to get a swipe at the disgusting human in the white coat. He successfully avoided her till he put her into her crate. She got lucky in the very last second of her humiliation by managing to scratch him proper as he just finished locking the door.

Sorry, carrier, not crate.

I’m not allowed in the back garden without being escorted by Catbunz. He will stop his tanning session in front of the fireplace to accompany me to the back door and then wait, staring at me through the door. When I come back in he will escort me back to the living room and resume his tanning session.

Also, my husband and I have been known to play dead if we’re awake in bed and hear him come in through his cat flap. If he hears us talking he will run upstairs and start whinging. Good times!

Well minibunz, he cannot risk you being unfaithful. What if another needy feline walks in

Mine has spent today shouting to be let into the garage. I can only assume he likes the sound of the echoes in there as once he is shut in he shouts repeatedly. My neighbour came to tell me there was a cat shut in my garage. He does not want to come out.

Our smallest cat and thickest will go out of the cat flap and walk round to the kitchen window and meow to be let in. She sounds quite upset about it and won't listen to me telling her to get back in the house the same bloody way you left it.

Boy cat wakes at 5am everyday by shouting and moaning at the household. In a weekday this is fine but if I dare to fancy a lay in at the weekends have to either get UK and open the cat flap, or pick him up an put him in bed with me, stroking him until he falls asleep.

My dad spoilt his cat rotten whilst I lived at home. Only the best cat food in gravy for his little prince whilst we were fed tesco value stuff! He even apparently lightheartedly threatened to leave the house to the cat if we pissed him off!

Clandestino This all began when He caught me being unfaithful with the NDN’s mog. I had bent down to give said mog a head stroke and saw Catbunz staring at us, psycho style. I took full responsibility but this is now my lot.

Our old cat didn't like black, if we put a black duvet cover on the bed it would whine pitifully about this terrible injustice.

Exfury That's so sweet, fatcat sounds amazing!

When we brought Pixie home (that cute little shitbag pictured further up) we tried to keep her in one room but she simply wasn't having it. She has ruled the roost since she moved in and even PirateCat, our original 13 year old tabby who is resident King of the House has found himself pounced on by her.

This morning she knocked over the hedgehog food. There are fucking hedgehog biscuits everywhere in the conservatory.

Last night, she again decided to hunt for the door to Narnia by clawing my wardrobe door and in her disgust at not finding it, pulled loads of shoes out onto the floor. It's getting very wearing.

Polly-the-cat will only eat Encore Crab with Tuna! It is one pound per portion and there is only one supermarket in a five mile radius that sells it so guess where we get our weekly online shop from.
Seamus-the-cat will occasionly eat Sheba (in gravy) but prefers Wilko's own brand tuna in sauce which involves a trip into town or an online shop if they don't have it in stock.
The catflap is only used if there is no-one in to open the front door.
I cannot believe how a household of 6 adults are held to ransom by two cats with "issues"

I did an order with zooplus today.

Two different types of wet food.
6kg of dry food.
40l of cat litter
2 new scratchboards

£85

The food will last about 4 weeks although the dry stuff should maybe last about 6-8 weeks if I'm lucky.

MycatsaPirate

The ZebraCats love ZooPlus. They think all boxes that appear at the house should be from there. Or at a push, from MedicAnimal, as they do the other renal food* my poorly!mog (genetic issues with his kidneys & his teeth, poor little liger) gets. Their litter comes via Amazon Prime on subscription - big 30L bags of woodpellet.

• As an aside, find it utterly reprehensible the 2 main renal wetfoods sold/available in the UK (& the ones I got from the vet when the House Liger was diagnosed) both have added sugar in them? Royal Canin & Hills. "Oh look, a pet renowned for dental issues, let's fill its food with something to rot their teeth faster." How did that even happen? Feckers. Hope the people responsible get bitten by cats with exceptionally manky mouths.

I heard a talk from Jon Bowen recently - renowned animal behaviourist. He said: we feed our cats wrong. The best thing is to give them the same food every day, preferably dry food. They will look at you and say 'fuck off, I'm not eating that shit' and walk away. BUT cats are designed to eat between 10-20 small meals per day (like mice, and bird heads and shit). That hunting/prey type thingy. As domestic cat owners (well actually slaves) - when we feed them, they know they can come and eat it whenever they want so they tell us to eff off, because they are actually not hungry in the moment, they just want to know they can eat when they want to - which is very cat-ish if you think about it!!

I put wet food down twice a day for ours but there are two huge biscuit dispensers which they graze on. Two of ours don't eat wet food but the other four do. They all like different types of food and it's a PITA if DP feeds them because he invariably gets it wrong and then I have to deal with Felix fucking wailing next to his bowl and pawing at the food cupboard. As soon as I open the cupboard he purrs and headbutts the right food.

But one of the others will go and finish off his leftovers later anyway.

Just done their litter trays and topped them all up again and it's a good job a new bag of litter is coming on Monday. Wtf do they feel the need to kick it everywhere anyway? They hate the hoover! I wouldn't need to hoover everyday if they'd just stop chucking it about.

when we feed them, they know they can come and eat it whenever they want so they tell us to eff off, because they are actually not hungry in the moment, they just want to know they can eat when they want to - which is very cat-ish if you think about it!!

That sounds like my girl. She has just made the most enormous fuss about breakfast (throwing herself up and down the stairs and attacking the front door mat in the process). I made it for her she sniffed it and then walked to the back door with a dismissive swish of the tail. She'll be back in later to eat a bit.

Mine squeaks and squawks about being wet. But doesn't want to be dried. Nothing to moan about if he's dry....

Post more pictures please! All your human owners are so cute even if their personalities are quite the opposite!

My madam is asleep curled up with her cuddly toy cat.

She has done three poos this morning :(

She complains that she's starved, there is very compelling evidence to the contrary.

Please excuse me whilst I dig out the scooper and disposable bags and deal with her 'presents' with a clothes peg on my nose