To move even though my children don't want to

[Brian9600]

DH and I don't really like where we live- it's a nice area but a bit suburban for us (we moved here- zone 3- from central London).

I would really like to move more centrally, I know my DH would as well but the children (13 and 12) are dead set against it. I think it's mainly just because they want to stick with what they know but TBF the move would be worse in some ways for them (smaller garden, further from school and friends- although TBF I'd probably still give them a lift, smaller bedrooms) whereas it would be better for DH and me (much shorter commutes, an area that suits us more, closer to friends and more going on).

WWYD? Like all parents I want my children to be happy but I also feel fed up that DH and I are stuck somewhere we don't like and that it's not unreasonable to prioritise ourselves.

So what is in it for the kids? It seems like a loose loose situation for them.

There is no point being near a busy buzzing area if they cannot afford to do any of the exciting things that are going on around them.

At what age would people consider not asking the kids?

My kids wouldn't get to make the decision at any age!

OP - YANBU

A 50 minute commute really isn't that bad. It takes me about an hour door to door to cover 4 mikes when I drive to work in rush hour when DS getting lift to school as well.
Does your DH need to do such long hours? Could he cycle to and from the tube station to reduce length of commute?

It doesn't sound like you have compelling reasons to move and yes I believe your DCs happiness does count in the equation. They're at a tricky age and it does sound like you'd be moving on a bit of a whim.

I'm intrigued to know which areas in zone 3 are considered to be suburban? Can someone be more specific?

Wembley is suburban. Forest Hill is suburban. Catford-suburban. North Fichley-suburban. Southgate-suburban.
Streatham and Wood Green would have been considered suburban (and deadly boring) 20 years ago, but now, I don't know?

Sorry x post- I don't think most of the areas I listed are zone 3!

how does it take 50 minutes? do u work other side of london

I would say Balham is very surburban and that's in Zone 3 - probably more so than Tooting (also Zone 3).

Zone 3

I do see OPs point that certain parts of zone 3 are fairly suburban. Unsure of the definition, Streatham in theory would be more so than Balham imo as larger houses, more off street parking etc but Balham is more villagey. I wouldn’t class Brixton or Clapham as suburbs.

tbh I would of loved to be a teen growing up in zone 1, they will be uber popular in a few years & your house will be the crash pad. Although these days we do have Uber so perhaps not.

DH works crazy hours in central London and also commutes in from Zone 3. I actually understand why you want to move 50 minute commute on normal hours is fine but 50 minutes home when leaving the office at 10/11pm is a killer. How often does he work very late? Could a compromise be he just gets an Uber straight home on those occasions to make his life easier?

Blimey you're only moving up the road a bit! If the kids don't even have to move school I'd go for it. Mind you I uprooted my then 11 year old from Ireland to Oz without thinking to ask his permission. .

I reckon 'surburban' is more a mindset of those who live there than maybe the area itself?

DC never want to move - we moved 800 yards and my dc thought is was the end of the world.

As the adults paying this bills this is your choice. I am sure you will take their feelings into account, but if you still want to move after assessing all the pros and cons - then you should move.