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Original poster

DP lending me money

92 replies

ItsBeenSnowingForFourDays · 20/02/2018 17:51

I am currently on holiday with DP. We live together, no DCs.

We are both self employed so, as happened to me, payments often don’t come in as you expect.

Before we left I explained to DP that a payment I was expecting was going to be delayed by a week & could he therefore lend me some money (we often do this). Previously we have just deposited some funds into each other’s account.

He said - no problem, we are partners.

We have been away 4 days but he hasn’t transferred anything. He has given me some change but is just paying for everything.

This morning I needed some panty liners & had to ask for some coins.

I just feel a bit shit, completely beholden. I’ve been skipping lunch etc because I don’t want him to pay for everything.

OP posts:
TheLovelyHorse · 20/02/2018 23:28

I do agree with pp that if you have a credit card, it's for times like this.

I'd ask once more for the agreed loan, though. If that's an awkward conversation, them I'm afraid he wants it to be that way, and you need to let that sink in.

LagunaBubbles · 20/02/2018 23:28

Speakout are we reading the same thread? She can eat - her DP is paying for everything, it's her that's refusing!

Butterymuffin · 20/02/2018 23:34

Still confused about what's actually happening at lunch times.

Just say 'I feel bad having to keep asking you for money or for you to pay each time. Could you give me about £50 (or whatever) so I can just use that as I go along for now?'

Justaboy · 20/02/2018 23:39

Might it be that he's a bit skint to and is too embrassed by the situation and can't or dosen't want to talk about i, he possibly being in a position where he can't help his mate out.

Hateloggingin · 20/02/2018 23:42

Are panty liners the same as sanitary towels? From a pp comment I’m assuming not, you wear them everyday? Why? I’m 42, female and have no idea why anyone would do this, surely you change your knickers every day?

sailorcherries · 20/02/2018 23:42

I'm confused by the OP and by so many of the responses here.

The OH isn't refusing her anything or allowing her to starve: she told him she was short of cash and asked for a loan, he has decided to pay for both of them as they go (with it being a holiday and them, presumably, being together most of the time). What is so wrong here? She is the one refusing to eat lunch because he is paying. If he handed her the cash and she paid it would still be him paying until OP has cash flow again. Surely the OP can go along with this and then just repay half the spends once she has been paid?

OP if you cannot talk to your partner about money, or ask him to buy sanpro, you have bigger issues.

Snowysky20009 · 20/02/2018 23:45

This is weird. How can you be together 4 years yet you are afraid to ask for food? One of the strangest threads I've read. How can you call this a relationship?

Enko · 20/02/2018 23:54

Are panty liners the same as sanitary towels? From a pp comment I’m assuming not, you wear them everyday? Why? I’m 42, female and have no idea why anyone would do this, surely you change your knickers every day?

Yes you change knickers every day. However not everyone only have discharge during their periods some women have discharge through out the month and they find that it is more comfortable with some level of panty liners. Some like disposable some use reusable.

Most of them I suspect put on fresh knickers every day.

LemonysSnicket · 21/02/2018 00:00

Ask again and spell it out. My DP thinks it’s kind to do this as I don’t have to pay him back ... I explained it made me feel like a child begging for coins to get a fucking ice cream and he doesn’t do it anymore.

MunchMunch · 21/02/2018 00:07

I don't know what I find more strange - the op not being able to talk about finances with her dp or the fact other women can't fathom why another female would wear panty liners Confused

AjasLipstick · 21/02/2018 00:20

Sandy not everyone qualifies for a bloody credit card. Hmm

OP...woman up and say "I need to borrow some money....I want to borrow cash so I have something in my purse. I appreciate you just paying for everything but I need money"

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes · 21/02/2018 00:25

Not everyone can have a credit card.
Not everyone has savings.
Not everyone has a moisture free fanny.

Hateloggingin · 21/02/2018 00:53

Enjo, thank you 😊

MunchMunch - I still don’t get it I’m afraid, normal non period discharge? My bits are not moisture free but I don’t need something to ‘soak up’ stuff either, how much discharge are we talking? Maybe go to a dr??

TheLovelyHorse · 21/02/2018 00:58

Well this has all turned a bit late-night pervy, "I don't understand about ladies' discharges, oooh, get me and my naivety"; so I'm out.

FlippingFoal · 21/02/2018 00:59

hateloggingin

Vaginal wetness is normal - l I suppose it depends on how horny you are though lol. Panty liners are also handy for soaking up the post coitus gush that you get a few hours later

Hateloggingin · 21/02/2018 01:27

THelovelyhorse im not a bloody pervert! I’ve always wondered re panty liners (in a completely non sexual way!!). I’ve been on here over 13 years, since pregnant with my first dd, mnhq can confirm :D

MunchMunch · 21/02/2018 01:29

hateloggingin Oh come on!

I don't think it needs spelling out so I won't bother. If you're a woman and know other women then I'm sure you'll have some sort of clue.

BoomBoomsCousin · 21/02/2018 01:34

YANBU to want a loan of cash instead of him paying when you are out. YMightBU for expecting him to realise that without explicitly saying it.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/02/2018 01:35

I don't know what's worse - your inability to say yo dude just give me a £20 please and we'll sort it out back at home, or him thinking ah she's not eaten for 3 days, well I guess that must be ok.

Hateloggingin · 21/02/2018 01:36

Fucking hell, yes I’m a woman, no I don’t tend to chat about panty liners with friends, that would be weird.

I understand vaginal moisture however I’ve never understood having so much of it you’d need to use a sanitary towel rather then just change your underwear! And as for being so desperate for money you’re not eating lunch but still decide to buy panty liners, that just seemed really strange which was what prompted my question in the first place.

I’ve met people in RL from MN, I’m definitely a woman with two dc!!!

Hateloggingin · 21/02/2018 01:37

Anyway I’m going to bed to knock one out after reading about ‘laydees moisture’ Hmm Jesus.

speakout · 21/02/2018 05:50

No not everyone has a credit card, and not everyone can afford a holiday.

But the OP decided to travel abroad without any cash- or access to cash.
This should have been sorted out before she left. She has pit herself in a vulnerable situation.

And being self employed means having some contingency otherwise you and your business are in an unstable position.

blueskypink · 21/02/2018 06:01

Where did the op say she'd travelled abroad?

speakout · 21/02/2018 06:13

OK so maybe not abroad, but still strange to go on holiday with no money.
What happens if there is an emergency? OH taken to hospital? They argue?

Having no cash and no means to get any- especially when you are away from home is not an ideal situation.

bluebells1 · 21/02/2018 06:36

You sound like that person who was moaning about her not getting ant gifts but refusing to talk to her DP. GO AND TALK TO HIM! Tell him that you need money NOW. If he refuses, you know where you stand and walk away from this guy.