Parents avoiding 1st Birthday party due to sick child

[desperatelyseekingcruising]

I'm prepared to be told IABU, just feeling a bit fed up really.
DSD had a heart attack a few years ago, and is now very twitchy about his health. This I can understand, but to such a degree that he and my DM will happily miss important family events if there is so much as a sniffle in the vicinity. Tonight was my DS's first birthday party, and due to DD (10yrs) having a vomiting episode and taking to bed after school, they have decided to swerve the entire thing.
I feel that other grandparents would want to celebrate regardless, and there is probably more risk of catching something from a trolley at Tesco than a child not even in the same room. I get that he's nervous about sickness, but due to having three school age children...it's unlikely there will be an event in the forseeable future that doesn't involve at least one snotty nose!

Yabu. Unless it was an emergency, (eg you desperately needed childcare), I’d avoid anyone with a tummy bug. I also avoid asking anyone to my house if someone has a tummy bug. Quite strange / irresponsible to plough on with the party when there’s d&v in the house, if I’m honest.

I cancelled a party once, D&V a few days before with kids, i cleaned and cleaned, deep cleans twice, still OH came down with it. We had it at a later date. I banned all family from the house.

YABU. I'm healthy and wouldn't go near a house with a vomiting bug in it. It's a bit entitled and selfish to expect so, esp given the baby is one and not all hyped up about party stuff. Bugs can make elderly-ish people very sick indeed, esp if they've had health problems. Just reschedule.

You must take a deep breath and quell this resentment. It is not appropriate.

There may be things about his health that you do not know; he may have been advised to stay clear of bugs as much as possible.

We have missed various GC events, as my OH has been told that if he gets a bad bug we could be talking about whether to treat or not. My dear children do not know this detail; they know he is ill of course, but not how ill. They have never seemed at all resentful - sad, but not resentful - when we have cried off - they trust our judgement and know that we are sad to miss it.

I do think when you are young and healthy, it is difficult to understand how much chronic ill health can impact on you. People can seem perfectly fine day to day, but actually be taking lots of precautions to achieve that.