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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery worker’s behaviour

91 replies

EveEveEve · 19/02/2018 12:24

The daughter of a family friend works at a nursery. She seems to have become obsessed with a particular child, a one year old.
She shows pictures of the child to all her own family and friends, constantly talks about this child, has referred to herself as like the child’s mother and has ‘cute baby videos’ of said child on her phone.
If this child were yours would you want to know about this?

OP posts:
HobnobBob · 19/02/2018 12:59

Tell the nursery, stop warning her.

Liskee · 19/02/2018 13:00

Report anonymously if you feel you have to do it that way, but you absolutely have to report her. Today.

Charmatt · 19/02/2018 13:02

This is really serious - the nursery could have an on the spot Ofsted for this to determine how she was able to take photographs of the child. They could potentially be shut down for this, or at least suffer reputational damage.

If she has her phone with her at work and is able to take photographs, then the systems of the nursery would be called into question. Even if she is not perpetrating abuse, it raises the issue that someone else working there might be.

Charmatt · 19/02/2018 13:03

Either report to nursery management, or straight to your LA MASH. You can do it anonomously.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 19/02/2018 13:05

You need to ring the Nursery ASAP. Every adult who knows about these photos and videos is now responsible for that child's safeguarding - do not rely on other people to stop her and do not worry about causing problems for your friend.

You just protect this vulnerable child now!

TomElvisJedusor · 19/02/2018 13:07

Similar happened with my son, his key worker seemed to take a shine to him, making comments about how she was his second mum and calling him "my baby" among a few other things. Had a word with the nursery manager and asked for a different key worker which they did and assume they had a word as the comments stopped.

Confusedbeetle · 19/02/2018 13:07

This may be tricky as she is the daughter of a family friend. The dilemma may be should you tell her parents that this is a concern. This would probably be the right thing to do but may jeopardise a friendship. On the other hand it may stop her in her tracks if her parents explain this cannot continue, I am a little surprised no one has done so. I suspect this may be a naivety on the part of a young girl who has no idea. What shouts out to me more loudly is that she is getting no child protection/ safeguarding training or she would know this is inappropriate. This would be the question I would be putting to the nursery!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/02/2018 13:07

Yes damn right id want to know as would the SGO Ofsted and The Nursery.

TomElvisJedusor · 19/02/2018 13:07

Also have no idea if she had any photos of him but would definitely want to know about it!

halfwitpicker · 19/02/2018 13:08

Er, yes I would.

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/02/2018 13:10

She's not a child. She's a worker at a nursery. I suppose the youngest she might be is 16, but still she ought to know the basics from her workplace training. At the nursery my children go to, no one is allowed to bring a phone in, parents, staff or anyone. There are signs everywhere and it's very clear.

It's wrong to excuse this as naivety.

BrutusMcDogface · 19/02/2018 13:10

Absolutely, 100% report this behaviour to the nursery. It's highly inappropriate and dangerous. Is she very young?

Afreshcuppateaplease · 19/02/2018 13:11

Please report this op

Is she qualified?

BlondeB83 · 19/02/2018 13:11

That’s gross misconduct and she willl face disciplinary. I would also be questioning the child protection training they have had there if she thinks this is ok!

lashestans · 19/02/2018 13:20

hold on how do you know shes not friends with the mum? I had my son in nursery at 9 months old and one of the workers is still one of my best friends now - my son is 6. She had photos of my son on her phone etc as she would send me them during the day whilst i was at work

teaandbiscuitsforme · 19/02/2018 13:24

Lashes If age took photos whilst working in a nursery, that is completely against all child protection training and the safeguarding procedures in place. Friend or not. She should have been sacked!

teaandbiscuitsforme · 19/02/2018 13:25

*If she

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/02/2018 13:25

@lashestans your friend shouldn't have been doing that as even 5 or 6 years ago nurseries wouldn't have allowed staff to have phones on them. The Vanessa George case was in 2009 and was widely reported at the time.

SuperTimbs · 19/02/2018 13:28

Please contact the nursery and ofsted, or LA CP MASH team. This is really inappropriate behaviour and should not be allowed to continue.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 19/02/2018 13:30

I have worked in early years for 13 years and never has that been allowed lashes

gillybeanz · 19/02/2018 13:33

I can't understand why she is allowed her phone on duty, all childcare workers I know have to leave them in their bag.
Also, why are none of her coworkers seeing this?
Some nurseries are just shit, let's face it.

FrancisCrawford · 19/02/2018 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlondeB83 · 19/02/2018 13:37

Lashes, your friend should have been sacked!

RainbowDash09 · 19/02/2018 13:38

Imagine if it were someone taking photographs of YOUR child and doing this.

No fucking way, get her reported

bookworm14 · 19/02/2018 13:39

This is very worrying. Phones are not allowed at all at my DD's nursery - even parents aren't allowed to take photos of their own children at nursery events. I would report her ASAP.