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Original poster

To throw my dads possessions out.

110 replies

Gigimoll · 18/02/2018 09:56

So let me start, the house we're renting is my childhood home. My mom mainly poured all the money into it for me and my brother. My brother died a few years ago so the house is still legally my dad's but always still 'my home'. I've made it into that. I really struggle and I don't have a lot of money and my dad and his girlfriend ran it down to a filthy mess. I've given it love and paint and it's lovely now and I'm paying his mortgage, water everything. But it's not in my name or even that I'm renting.

So the main thing in this was a home for my family (dad has moved out as he's in so much debt for his ex and can't afford to live without my money) and my mom and stepddad decided to help us out (thank gosh) and put a percentage towards buying this house and we put the rest. The idea is in future we all move to the seaside. Me, My two children, my mom, dp and stepddad.

So my dad hasn't been a dad. He let his ex abuse us, wouldn't give my mom money for us and she really struggled with two kids, told me I'd only ever amount to be selling the big issue, you get the idea. A complete asshole. I have panic attacks every time I see him now after announcing my pregnancy with ds. He's a asshole to me over it. But pleased for his ex's 16 year old daughter who's gotten knocked up.
So yesterday I'd had enough. I've been asking him for months to collect the rest of his things. So I can sort the spare bedroom out for ds and put heating upstairs. He refuses to take it.
He then has his post delivered here still and blames me for loosing important letters (which I always put in the hallway to keep them all together.) when what he does is open them and leave them. It's driving me insane. I've put 3 grand into this home, new kitchen, bathroom etc and he wants all the money from it now as he can't stop going to gigs etc on his credit card. I want the only contact to be for the money now and that's it.

Am I in my rights to throw his things out now? It's been well over a year.

OP posts:
YetAnotherUser · 18/02/2018 10:46

The only way the current arrangement could be considered a good thing for you is if the amount you are giving (not paying, you are GIVING this money away) to your dad is substantially less than it would cost you to rent elsewhere.

If this is the case I'd be looking to save up and buy elsewhere when the opportunity arises.

Your current situation hinges entirely on your dad's goodwill, which sounds tenuous at best.

NerrSnerr · 18/02/2018 10:47

Unfortunately you’re not paying the mortgage, you’re giving your dad money and he may not be paying the company. If you didn’t pay any bills or the money to your dad for a month would that be enough for a deposit?

Birdsgottafly · 18/02/2018 10:47

In regards to his possessions, you could get your Solicitor to write him a letter to sort them out.

But he won't because he probably knows that whilst post is coming there and his stuff is there etc he is in partial residency, as such.

Gabilan · 18/02/2018 10:49

I'm paying the mortgage, water rates etc everything.

Is this on top of paying him money by direct debit (or standing order)? Or are you paying the mortgage company and utility companies directly? If you're giving money to your dad, do not assume any of it is actually going on these bills.

You really need to see a solicitor. You might be on less shaky ground if you have a strong evidence trail that you've been paying the mortgage. But if you have just been giving money to your dad, you have nothing.

Appuskidu · 18/02/2018 10:49

Its more hers if anything

It’s not hers at all.
It’s not yours either.

He is not gong to sign it over to you-it’ll just be sold to pay off his debts or repossessed!

FrancisCrawford · 18/02/2018 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needmysleep75 · 18/02/2018 10:51

You've mentioned your mum several times, is the house still in joint names of her and your dad? If not she is being as naive as you. You have absolutely no rights at the moment, it is his house all you are doing is giving him money. If he isn't paying the mortgage then you will end up being evicted, if he decides he doesn't want you there any more he can kick you out. Do not spend any more money until you have it sorted legally. Why would he go and sort it legally when you are giving him money every month which probably isn't going where it should be.

Pinkponiesrock · 18/02/2018 10:53

Well even more so now you have a child you need security.

Your Dad could put you out the house with no notice at all! If you refused to go you’d be the one in the wrong!!!

Is your Mum still on the title deeds for the house?
Is she or was was she married to your Dad?

He’s using the offer of letting you have it for below market value as a carrot to dangle in front of you, whether he’ll sell it to you is another matter.
A verbal agreement in this case is only as good as the paper it’s written on.

You need to get some proper legal advice!

NoSquirrels · 18/02/2018 10:53

Do you have a tenancy agreement?

Do you transfer “rent” to him and he pays the mortgage, or do you pay it direct?

Is it JUST your dad’s name on the mortgage? Why did your mum pay when it wasn’t her name on it? Did they divorce or were they not married?

butterfly56 · 18/02/2018 10:54

This situation is not going to end well.
You are not paying the mortgage direct to the mortgage company.
You are giving money to your dad and the chances are he is not paying the mortgage.
If he has remortgaged the chances are it could be repossessed at any time seeing as he does not seem to be very responsible with money.

He probably knows full well he cannot sign the house over to you because he is in too much debt!

MyBrilliantDisguise · 18/02/2018 10:54

So you're living in a house that's very run down. Your dad owns the house. Does your mum own a share in it?

You are paying the mortgage. Are you paying rent as well? You're also putting money into doing the house up.

Your dad can't be trusted. In fact, he's bloody horrible. Yet you are trusting him to let you have this house?

WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS?

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 18/02/2018 10:55

OP, find somewhere else to rent, as at least then you'll have a legal tenancy. Right now you have nothing.

If your dad is as bad as your posts make out, you do NOT want to be caught up un the shit storm that'll happen when your dad's creditors catch up with him. You will come out with nothing.

MyNewBearTotoro · 18/02/2018 10:56

Is your Dad the sole owner of your house or does your Mum jointly own it as well?

If it solely belongs to your Dad I think I would be looking to rent elsewhere and then look for a different house to buy - this situation just sounds incredibly confusing.

e1y1 · 18/02/2018 10:59

I mean this in the best possible way.

You. Are. Insane.

You aren’t “renting”and you certainly aren’t paying towards buying the house.

Your name is nowhere on any records to say you are paying for this house, all your bank will show is that you’re transferring money once a month or whatever.

Just think, if

NoSquirrels · 18/02/2018 10:59

Change the back door lock.

Stop paying rent.

Ask your mum to lend you the money for a deposit on a new place.

Your dad is being an asshole about your pregnancy because he can see your DP putt if a job and you about to go on maternity leave and his “rent” money disappearing.

Do you have receipts for anything you’ve spent on the house? Do you have any written trail of his agreement to sell at £89K?

You will need a solicitor abdvthe smsll claims court.

I really do not think your dad will sell this house to you, so start preparing on that basis.

e1y1 · 18/02/2018 11:00

Sorry pressed send too soon.

Just think, if your Dad is that desperate to be free of the house, WHY won’t he see a solicitor?

He honestly could come at anytime and throw you out, and there wouldn’t be a thing you could do. The house is his.

Ellie56 · 18/02/2018 11:01

Your dad's possessions are the least of your worries.

Is the house in your dad's name only? Or is it in your mum's name too?

Is your mum married to your dad?

Have you looked at those letters your dad has opened and left behind? If not I would do so asap. There may be letters regarding the house which will give you an idea of the current situation. And as we all keep saying you need to get some legal advice asap.

NotDavidTennant · 18/02/2018 11:01

I don't think it's true that OP has no rights here. If her dad has agreed for her to live there and she is making a regular payment to him then she will be treated in law as a tenant even if there is no formal tenancy agreement. She has no ownership rights though, and if the mortgage lender is unaware that the house has been let then it can be repossessed from under her.

RedHelenB · 18/02/2018 11:02

You cannot buy this house under value as it will be overturned by bankruptcy proceedings. Please listen to everyone on this thread , stop paying money to your dad and look at renting/buying elsewhere. And then have nothing more to do with him as he's a waste of space from what you have put.

Motoko · 18/02/2018 11:03

And another thing.

I have nothing else on top of to save and I can't get the money to rent somewhere else just yet as I'm waiting for dp to actually get a decent job.

Is your DP working at all, or is he unemployed and trying to get a "decent" job? If it's the latter, he needs to get ANY job. He can still look for the better paid job, but until he gets one, he needs to be bringing some money in, and even a NMW job will help your finances.

ElspethFlashman · 18/02/2018 11:06

This is nuts, this is 100% nuts. You are living in a fantasy land.

Get your shit in order cos you are going to lose everything.

daisypond · 18/02/2018 11:07

I think tenancy rights are different if it's a family member. They often don't apply, as there no intention to create legal rights, so no tenancy is ever created. It's particularly important that there is a proper tenancy if it's between family members.

ElspethFlashman · 18/02/2018 11:08

I've put 3 grand into this home, new kitchen, bathroom

3 grand??! You poured 3 grand into some asshole's property? And now you're skint?

RedHelenB · 18/02/2018 11:13

I hope you have documented proof that you've sent that money or all that will be gone as well!

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 18/02/2018 11:19

You said your mum made the mortgage payments for a while, does she legally own part of the house? If she has evidence that she made mortgage payments, and this wasn't addressed in their divorce, I would suggest she gets some legal advice as to whether she owns part of the house.

But currently you only have tenants rights to the house (I think if you are paying rent you acquire tenants rights even if no written contract) which means your dad could evict you. Or if he isn't paying mortgage you would be evicted if house repossessed. Check this on shelter Website/ phone line.

Please don't put any more money into doing up the house. You could be evicted and would not see that money again.

Write a clear calm letter to your dad and make an offer to buy the house, stating your offer amount. Don't get into the stuff, the state of the house, put those all aside for now. Make a written offer to buy and ask him to respond in a certain time period if he wants to sell to you. Say in what time period you would want to get the sale completed otherwise you will need to withdraw. Be calm, polite, firm, don't get into any other issues in the discussion. And don't spend any more money on the house in the meantime unless it is legally yours.

If he doesn't agree, then I would sadly conclude that he has no intention of selling to you and is just messing you around, and I would focus your efforts on moving out asap.