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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp waking me up every weekend day

93 replies

taekwondo · 18/02/2018 06:00

We've just had a really big row at 5:30 on a Sunday!

Yesterday morning Dp woke me up by endlessly pestering for sex. This was about 5am!

He was supposed to work this morning so would be getting up at 5am. He woke at 5:30 and saw to ds (6) who is unwell, bearing in mind id already got up to see to him and gave him a drink about an hour earlier.

When dp came back to bed he put the laptop on and was watching a video. I said "what time is it" was ignored, checked the time, "it's 5:30, can you not turn that off?"

He wouldn't. I was getting more and more fed up and it's turned into an argument. Where he slammed the laptop closed, got up and turned on the light and started to work on his computer.

The argument went with him calling me nuts because I get up all week at 4:30 and wake him up as I leave the room. Bearing in mind he wakes at 5 to get up. And because I wake him at 4:30 all week it's perfectly acceptable that he's up at 5:30 on a fucking Sunday playing videos on and turning the light on!!!

I'm lazy for wanting to sleep for a little bit longer and lazy because he saw to ds who apparently I left in pain but he wasn't showing signs of discomfort when I saw to him.

Dp threw things at me, told me I'm a nuts and got so angry about me calling him selfish for his behaviour.

Aibu. It's 5:30 on a SUNDAY!! Every day of the weekend he wakes me up. I'm usually quiet about it, but he's so god dam selfish! But makes out it's ok because I'm up early all week. To me that's a reason to want to sleep in on at least one of the days!!

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 18/02/2018 08:58

Sunny - you need to start your own thread (and report this post on twaekondo's thread) if you want to get any advice on your issue. Wink

PositivelyPERF · 18/02/2018 08:58

SunnyBaloo you need to start your own thread.

SunnyBaloo · 18/02/2018 08:58

Sorry I’ve posted this in the wrong place - newbie. I’ll do it on the main bit now

PositivelyPERF · 18/02/2018 08:59

Don’t worry. You’re not the first person to make that mistake.

taekwondo · 18/02/2018 09:04

@Allergictoironing wow! Thank you for that

OP posts:
EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 18/02/2018 09:09

The first thing that struck me is that you mention him throwing things st you as sort of an afterthought. It’s not in the title. If my DH threw things at me it would completely freak me out. In 18 years I’ve only seen him get cross once. Has he thrown things before?

As others have said, phone Women’s Aid and fuck the cleaning. Talk to your sister when he’s not around and see if you can stay there, tell her you are fleeing as he’s abusive. Don’t tell him you are going but please get out. You know you are worth far more.

BrownTurkey · 18/02/2018 09:20

Can you leave today while dbro is here to be bouncer.

Sparkletastic · 18/02/2018 09:24

I hope you can get away to your family and start a new life without this pathetic excuse for a man. Sounds like you are a hard worker - you can do this.

NovemberWitch · 18/02/2018 10:09

Can I point out to some of you that you are expecting an 18 year old boy to stand up to, or be bouncer to, an agressive man in his 40s.
That seems like a bad idea to me. I’d spend a while planning my exit and then go ASAP, with DS.

RandomMess · 18/02/2018 10:09

Best route to leave us via women's aid to go back to live near your family

Thanksgood luck!

taekwondo · 18/02/2018 10:27

@NovemberWitch Thank you!!! That is why I won't do it, dbro will not handle it and it's immensely unfair to burden him with that pressure.

I am getting on with the day as normal, I will have to sort all of this out when dbro is not present. Then I will be free to do as I need to

OP posts:
metalmum15 · 18/02/2018 11:19

I'm called names and then told he's leaving

Next time help him pack his bags. He's a complete prick by the sounds of it. Do you really see this relationship continuing for the rest of your life? !

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 18/02/2018 11:41

Is he still in the house or has he gone out? Could you go out with DB and explain what’s been going on and phone Women’s Aid while you are out so that your DP doesn’t hear? I totally agree with not expecting an unprepared 18 yo to stand up to an abusive man in his 40s either especially as you’d be left with an angry DO at home if you couldn’t get away.

Much better to call Women’s Aid and plan your escape with your DS.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 18/02/2018 11:54

Perhaps you could explain to your brother that now is not a good time and you’ll see him when you’re safely back with your family? Then get cracking with packing and sorting out paperwork, finances etc.

Ivymaud · 18/02/2018 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/02/2018 14:04

He's not allowing you the sleep you need.
He's hounding you for sex.
He's using physical violence and throwing things at people is physical violence.
He's emotionally abusing you.

Easy for a randomer on line to say, but Why are with him. You and your ds deserve far better.

Shoxfordian · 18/02/2018 16:04

He's definitely abusive
Get out as soon as you can

CheesyWeez · 19/02/2018 12:05

How do things look this morning OP? Are you getting a plan in place? Flowers

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