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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New neighbours moved in today

110 replies

MrsMcW · 17/02/2018 22:54

New neighbours moved into the flat below mine this afternoon. My heart sank- they are three girls in their early-mid twenties, two of whom are students. Eight hours in and they are already throwing a massive party... music blaring through my floor and I've answered the front door 4 times to their friends because they can't hear their own doorbell over the music and so the friends rang mine instead.

AIBU to give it until midnight and then ask them to turn it down? My main worry is that I'm pregnant and due in 6 weeks- it's one thing keeping me up now but it will be a nightmare with a newborn involved too! If I turn a blind eye (and a deaf ear - if only) now, does it set a precedent going forward? Am I just being a boring cow ruining their fun? They've bought the flat (or rather, Daddy has) so I can't complain to a landlord.

OP posts:
RavenclawRealist · 17/02/2018 23:23

You can go and ask at midnight but personally I would leave them to it tonight, give them a chance and see how it goes. I would also find out who purchased the flat it might well not be ‘daddy’s’ and they may have a landlord who you can go if they keep being noisy and they don’t listen to requests to turn it down.

Yes they maybe rowdy but try not to prejudge if you approach them in the calm of a day and ask for warning if they are going to have a party due to your little one they maybe very resonable. I did this with next doors teenager due to shift work not kids, but he always knocks to say before a party and bless him at 12.30pm I hear him telling everyone to be quiet. It’s not perfect but he tries and it’s not all the time so we get by.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 17/02/2018 23:27

Please tell me you don't live in Brighton?

Just cos DP just acted as guarantor on DSDs new flat and I can see this..

If it is...
Tell em we're watching! Grin Wink

teaiseverything · 17/02/2018 23:29

I'd leave them to it for tonight. Bit of a pain but a one off hopefully.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 18/02/2018 00:04

Hopefully they’ll have a mad wan and that’ll be it.
I’d imagine parents/family have purchased the flat at that price
And yes I get it,it’s an arse ache having a party goin on

HeddaGarbled · 18/02/2018 00:04
  1. Stop answering the doorbell. That's being martyrish in the extreme.
  2. Yes, reasonable to give them until midnight and then ask them to turn it down. If that doesn't work you can call the non-emergency police line.
  3. Did you really have house parties every weekend? Didn't you ever go to parties at someone else's place or to clubs? Yes, young people/students do have parties but not usually every weekend. Because they like to go out.
  4. If it's a million pound flat, there'll likely be some sort of residents' committee or management agent or concierge or something who can deal with this.
  5. You also live in a million pound flat. If all else fails, you can afford to move, -or take out a hit on them-.
Marriedwithchildren5 · 18/02/2018 00:10

They're having a party on a Saturday night. Cheer up!

5foot5 · 18/02/2018 00:19

Saturday night and they have just moved in. Give them the benefit if the doubt this time. It might well be a one off and they will be lovely neighbours

toocool4cats · 18/02/2018 00:24

They are having a moving in party, so I would acknowledge that tomorrow by popping round at say 9am? Ring the door bell nice and loud and tell them how happy you were to be able to join in the party. Sit yourself down and wait to be offered a cuppa then proceed to make endless small talk for the next 2 hours . No sleep for the party animals tomorrow

PlateOfBiscuits · 18/02/2018 00:27

Bad luck OP. That would make me really anxious too.

Give them the benefit of the doubt though. You sound like a nice neighbour and they could easily be so too.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/02/2018 00:30

Your little bundle of revenge is due in a few short weeks, I wouldn’t say a single thing...

mimibunz · 18/02/2018 00:30

I’m sure your crying newborn will keep them awake at all hours, so it will even things out.

YouTheCat · 18/02/2018 00:35

Don't say anything for now. Think of the potential for babysitters.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 18/02/2018 01:07

Why would three strangers be potential babysitters?what an inane comment

Toadinthehole · 18/02/2018 08:40

I used to be of the same mind as people here, ie, treat them nice and they'll be reasonable back. After a number of noisy neighbours (I live in a student area) my view has completely changed. It's now like this:

  1. I am the parent of children: you aren't. My right to sleep when I need to trumps your right to party.
  1. You can party somewhere other than your home, so that you don't disturb neighbours. I, on the other hand, can't reasonably be expected to sleep elsewhere.
  1. If you haven't thought of these things, you are sufficient thoughtless for me not to bother being friendly with you.
  1. This applies to any occasion. So, you do not have the right to a one-off party.
  1. There is no point in negotiating with drunks.

Thankfully I haven't had any trouble with neighbours for the last few years but when I last did, my strategy was to go straight to noise control, landlord or if necessary the police and bypass the tenants entirely. It's my experience that noisy neighbours need to learn (normally the hard way) that they don't have the right to party and if they do there will be repercussions. The iron fist is all they generally understand, and if the result is that they hate me, well I can live with that.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/02/2018 08:48

Well I wouldn’t have answered the doorbell after the first time! The friends must be as thick as mince to ring your doorbell because the one downstairs wasn’t being answered - what did they expect you to do about it?! (This is where a Ring doorbell would be useful, you can tell them to bugger off without leaving the sofa!)

I would also be playing loud music and making as much noise as possible this morning!

Bluntness100 · 18/02/2018 08:53

Daddy bought it. Not mummy eh? Nice everyday casual sexism there.

Oh and if f you did complain then of course you will be amenable to them complaining about your baby crying and how they need to study or get up for work.

MissDuke · 18/02/2018 08:56

I remember having houseparties every weekend when I was a student!

Karma? Grin

FlouncyDoves · 18/02/2018 08:59

How did you react when asked by neighbours to turn down the music when you were a student hosting the parties?

DaphneFanshaw · 18/02/2018 09:15

I used to party every weekend, and sometimes weekdays. I don’t know how I did it.
We always tried to be quiet....but my drunken idea of being quiet is a lot different to my sober quiet.
If karma had his/her/their way I would have party people next door, fortunately my current neighbours are great, they do have the occasional late loud night, but that’s fine by me.

Hope you managed to get some sleep.

Zaphodsotherhead · 18/02/2018 09:28

Surely if it's a million pound flat it will have enough soundproofing that they won't hear the baby?

Or am I being naive and it's a central London broom cupboard with spit and tissue paper walls?

Oldraver · 18/02/2018 09:30

I would let them have their fun just now.

If you are due in 6 weeks I doubt it will be them keeping your baby awake..more like the other way round. Another reason I wouldn't moan at them just yet.

SimonBridges · 18/02/2018 09:31

I’m always amazed on these threads at the people who cannot see the difference between a party and a crying baby.

k2p2k2tog · 18/02/2018 09:31

Noisy neighbours are hell. Hope the party wound up at a reasonable time, OP.

BMW6 · 18/02/2018 09:38

I wonder how your neighbours used to feel about your partying every week? Did you give a fuck about disturbing their peace all those times? Hmm

SaskaTchewan · 18/02/2018 09:43

I would have said something, or still would now. It' s unacceptable to be that noisy, sorry.

I don't know why posters go on about crying babies. I had 2 in a flat, and my neighbours were never disturbed by the babies! It's when they are toddlers that they start to be noisy. If you don't leave a crying baby in the room above the neighbours bedroom, they won't be disturbed, it's basic manners.

When you have a baby, you won't be able to have a lie-in in the morning. Your neighbours should understand quickly that people start cooking at 6am, even after a party, hoovering as early as the lease allows you to and so on. You are lucky to be above their flat, they will be the one suffering from the noise! If they cannot behave appropriately after you ask them nicely, it's easy to make them understand how unpleasant the noise can be.
A baby in a jumparoo on a wooden floor is bliss for neighbours with a hungover.

You can complain to the council and take action against noisy parties - it takes some time, you need to start a diary of the disturbance and you have to report dispute with neighbours when you sell. There's absolutely nothing they can say about a noisy child.