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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re: wedding venue

89 replies

pizzaandcoke · 16/02/2018 14:12

Hi

Need some advice on if Im being unreasonable

Myself and my fiance booked our wedding venue a few weeks ago. The owners of the venue are selling it on next year and so they are offering good discounts on weddings held this year. We have visited several venues and even booked a different one, but when I viewed this one I just fell in love. It is perfect, unique, charming and like I said, an excellent price.

We booked it on a Saturday and I came into work the following Monday and told my work colleagues about it and showed them some photos. The next weekend a woman who I work with got engaged. She hasn't worked with us long but we get on well.

Anyway, to cut a long story short she has now booked our wedding venue for her own wedding after I told her where we were getting married. She went to look at it (and didnt tell me she was going to) and then came into work and said they had 'provisionally' booked in. I dont know what that means because I know the venue takes a £500 deposit that is non refundable but whatever. She asked if I was okay with it and I didn't really know what to say, I said I wasn't in a position to tell her where to have her wedding. She said not to worry as they were going to look at more venues anyway.

Now they have properly booked it and not only that, they have booked it literally a week before our wedding. This is obviously going to cause problems with having annual leave as we aren't allowed to have two people off at once in our office (although I requested mine first), not only that but we are both inviting our work colleagues to our weddings meaning they are going to have to make a three hour journey to the venue twice in the space of one week.

AIBU? I was so excited for this venue and now I just feel deflated.

OP posts:
Dipitydoda · 16/02/2018 17:19

Ooh see if you can borrow any of her wedding props and store them at the venue

Ginslinger · 16/02/2018 20:02

this seems to happen a lot - I read very similar quite recently on here.

emmyrose2000 · 17/02/2018 06:21

If you are actually concerned about your colleagues driving three hours, don’t book a wedding venue so far away or factor a coach into your budget

This.

I wouldn't drive three hours for a wedding anyway, so I wouldn't be attending either one of the weddings.

However, from a guest POV, if the location was local/reasonable distance away, I'd actually find it a positive in being invited to the same location twice. I'd know exactly where to go the second time, what parking/traffic was like, whether it's likely to get too cold/hot (so could dress accordingly) etc, so it would be more relaxing attending the second wedding.

MissDuke · 17/02/2018 06:35

Well at the end of the day, your colleagues know that you booked first and that she has caused the situation. I guess it is a lesson learned to keep your plans somewhat to yourself from now on.

If you are very concerned, could you bring your forward slightly or is it too late now to change the date?

heartyrebel · 17/02/2018 07:32

I'd be livid if someone did that to me. Wish I was as chill as half these mumsnetters claim to be

Whatshallidonowpeople · 17/02/2018 07:37

People need to get over themselves. The venue probably does several weddings a week, do you want them to just hold yours for that year?

BlondeB83 · 17/02/2018 07:38

I would also change the date to one before hers and sort the leave out.

Roussette · 17/02/2018 07:57

I think that's really mean what she has done. Imagine if there was a thread on here with someone saying... my workmates and I are really close and one of them has a wedding booked at this fab venue. She let slip where it is, would I be mean to book the same place for my wedding the week before? Especially as it's 3 hours away and I have a feeling not everyone at work will make that journey twice in just over a week.

I'm pretty sure the answer would be a resounding 'don't be so selfish...find somewhere else'

Roussette · 17/02/2018 08:01

People need to get over themselves. The venue probably does several weddings a week, do you want them to just hold yours for that year?

That's hardly the point. We're talking about the same guests at two weddings who might decide they don't want to do the same thing twice in just over a week. It's nothing to do with strangers who don't affect these two weddings.

Rex27 · 17/02/2018 09:02

If your colleague hasn't worked there long why is she inviting everyone to a wedding three hours away?

Jux · 17/02/2018 18:18

Definitely do save the date; hand them out on Monday.

Lonesurvivor · 17/02/2018 18:27

It's a shitty thing for her to do but shows she really only thinks of you as a colleague not friend.
It's only four people so try not to feel like it'll take over your wedding. I understand though that it's going to feel a bigger deal to you because you see these people every day and every time your colleague mentions her wedding you'll feel put out.

Have you had your time off confirmed? Have you booked much off before your wedding? I'd be concerned that she will try and encroach on the week before you get married and after hers and stop you having time off.

Sweetpea55 · 17/02/2018 18:32

I bet loads of people have booked weddings there before and after yours. Your not bothered about them are you,? "" Do you feel like she's stolen your thunder ,?

ChocFudgeLover · 17/02/2018 18:32

Yanbu. It's a very weird thing to do, especially with it being 3 hours away!

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