Not to do DP & his son's washing anymore?

[hoolagirl]

I currently work from home full time. I basically do everything I can (time permitting) in the way of housework.
This usually ends up in me spending most of the morning (in between doing work) washing and ironing.
I have at least 2 loads every day. DP and his son tend to hoard their washing, so the day it gets dumped in washing basket there is no way I can get it all done, plus the following day there is twice as much ironing.
This leaves me less time to do other things that I would prefer to do.
Now if I just do mine and my ds's washing, I can comfortably do all my work and get the house in order.
It was starting to piss me off, and DP has said many times, not to do it if I didnt' want to and they didnt' expect all their washing and ironing to be done for them.
Now I have done it for 3 months and its what my day seems to revolve around.
I told DP yesterday that he now needs to do his and his DS's washing as i am resenting it.
He said that was fine and done it yesterday, he asked me last night to do his and his ds's ironing and I said no, do it yourself.
He is now in a strop, banging doors etc, saying that all I do is lounge around all day etc and basically he is acting like my 2 year old who is not getting his own way.
So, am I being unreasonable?

Well, put it right to the top immediately. No right minded woman should be washing dishes in 2007...

Ah, but I cannot perceive how a dishwasher will actually benefit me, or give me more time for nice things.

As I have a finite time to devote to houswork, ( as I work out of the home) there is only so much that can be done by me and dh and sons. Never all of it. So the time I'd save on washing up would just be spent on something else housework related. True we would have a tidier, cleaner house, but as my standards are low, that is no great gain as far as I am concerned. I would not end up with any more time for me, and we would be £300, £400 or whatever poorer. That's how I see it anyway - illogical perhaps but I wonder if the time people save by not doing dishes by hand actually goes back to them as personal, leisure, relaxtion time?

tigermoth - I have no idea how much time I would spend washing dishes if we didn't have a dishwasher, but it would be HOURS a week of drudgery. Whereas, with a dishwasher, it's more like minutes - my partner loads it after supper and the rest of the day people just load the odd cup, breakfast plate etc themselves. And normally I unload it in the morning (2-3 mins?), though when my stepsons (9, 12) the elder one does it.

Plus, everything is MUCH cleaner so the kitchen cupboards don't get dirty etc. which means less cleaning.

So - yes, I gain HOURS a week to do whatever I want. I am a great believer in minimising all chores - I use the tumble drier a lot, the internet for shopping etc

I can see the attraction I really can, but I don't spend lots of hours a week washing up anyway ( probaly 2 hours tops) and I rarely clean the kitchen cupboards (once or twice a year maybe). Don't do internet shopping because of we have a slower, dial up connection - I'm not keen on getting broadband at home. Again, I've quite got used to the slower pace of dialup and I like going to shops in person. (Sorry, not meaning to wind you up with my old fashioned ways, honest!)

do the washing, but, dont do the ironing.

I have bought 3 pop up baskets that sit in the hall. A white one for whites, blue for coloureds and pink for jumpers delicates. Everyone puts their clothes in the appropriate baskets and if it's not in the basket it doesn't get washed. My 5 year old loves to do this and will even pull a basket into the kitchen and put the washing in the machine if asked. He can put the tablets in the right drawer and pop in conditioner and then he will ask which number to put it on and switch it on. He is really proud to have helped his mum. My 18 month old will 'help' to put washing in the machine and pull it out. DH will put the machine on, hang out washing, bring it in, fold it, put it away if he sees it need doing to. It's a partnership. We work together. He works 70+ hours a week and am a SAHM.

Result ! - DSS is now doing his own washing and ironing, he even hung out his washing today and (with prompting) brought it back in tonight. He is ironing tommorow.
DP is doing his own washing and ironing also .
And I was looking at dishwashers today

result!

Apparently a dishwasher is the most labour saving thing you can buy after a washing machine....

I had a dishwasher before but managed to crack the front of it when I moved, DP used to have one which packed in also.
Was like you tigermoth, didn't see the point in them till I got into the way of using it.

I am sure a dishwasher would save an hour or two a week - I just don't think that hour would come back to me as 'time off'. For the same reason, I don't bother with having a microwave or ironing board.

Hoolagirl, rather than differentiating between 'yours' and 'their' washing which I can imagine may lead to resentment along the way can you devise a rota system where you all take it in turns to do washing etc. for the whole family? And the rest of the chores while you are at it.

I'm with the others on the ironing though! DH irons his work shirts and nothing else usually gets ironed in this house!

tigermoth,

It what you get used to, we didn't have a dishwasher until we moved home. DH bought a dishwasher 2 days after we moved in as if he didn't wash the dinner things up i wouldn't cook him dinner the following day (we both worked full time them). He soon learnt what was expected from him.

On the OP about doing teenage washing and ironing why can't they do their own. Both my parents worked full time from when i was 13years old, and we were all expected to help with all the household chores, whether it was me, or my brother, my younger sister we all took turns doing the washing and ironing.

From an very early age we had to learn how to set and clear the table, then we moved on to doiing the washing up after dinner. Children have to learn these skills so they make good adult and partners.

As for clearing up teenage bedroom my mum would put all the mess in the middle of the room with a black plastic sack and if an agreed time then all the stuff would be put in the bag and thrown away, we soon learnt how clear up after ourselves.

I will being doing this with both dd and bump may well try and include DH with my this.

ohh, you're strict, lizziemum! I am sure that if I didn't do the washing up, my dh would quickly acquire (another) dishwasher, just like yours did.

But it's not as if my teenage son doesn't help ie today he went food shopping for me and cooked lunch for himself and his brother, hung up his clothes(after my laundry talking to) and this evening will help dh cook supper for us all. Ds2 who makes tons more mess with his toys will also tidy them up when asked (with some reluctance but he does it) It's just that the washing and washing up are things that have always been my sole responsibility.

My mother always did all my washing (mind you, she didn't work outside the home) and to me it was ver definitley part of 'home'. When I moved into a flatshare,I expected to do all my washing, washing up, tidying ect, but home was vastly different.

I want my boys to know all the basic skills and be used to doing all of them, but wouldn't feel right about expecting them, as teenagers, to routinely do all their own washing/washing up. Even all their own tidying up. To me it seems too cold and flatshare-ish.

PS (I know this is not exactly what you are saying lizziemum - you are talking about taking it in turns to do tasks).

Yes, everyone takes turns in doing what chores need to be done. Also age appropriate (sp), for example my sister is four years younger then me so although at 13 i was expected to the washing and ironing she would not be at 9yrs but she was expected to do the hoovering and dusting. Also we only got pocket money if we did our chores, we probaly didn't do more then an hour's work a week unless you had the ironing to do at the weekend (i hate ironing shirts), but this would only be once a month.