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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to do DP & his son's washing anymore?

116 replies

hoolagirl · 02/05/2007 11:22

I currently work from home full time. I basically do everything I can (time permitting) in the way of housework.
This usually ends up in me spending most of the morning (in between doing work) washing and ironing.
I have at least 2 loads every day. DP and his son tend to hoard their washing, so the day it gets dumped in washing basket there is no way I can get it all done, plus the following day there is twice as much ironing.
This leaves me less time to do other things that I would prefer to do.
Now if I just do mine and my ds's washing, I can comfortably do all my work and get the house in order.
It was starting to piss me off, and DP has said many times, not to do it if I didnt' want to and they didnt' expect all their washing and ironing to be done for them.
Now I have done it for 3 months and its what my day seems to revolve around.
I told DP yesterday that he now needs to do his and his DS's washing as i am resenting it.
He said that was fine and done it yesterday, he asked me last night to do his and his ds's ironing and I said no, do it yourself.
He is now in a strop, banging doors etc, saying that all I do is lounge around all day etc and basically he is acting like my 2 year old who is not getting his own way.
So, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

tigermoth · 03/05/2007 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster

hoolagirl · 03/05/2007 20:17

Why don't you devise a rota system tigermoth and stick it up on the wall.
If they fail to do the chores could you withhold something, ie pocket money, computer game or something after giving them a week or so to get used to it?
As for your DH, his punishment will be your discretion

OP posts:

berolina · 03/05/2007 20:22

Can I just ask what this 'ironing' thing is you're all going on about?

Original poster

hoolagirl · 03/05/2007 20:24

This 'ironing' thing is the biggest pain in the arse ever invented!

OP posts:

berolina · 03/05/2007 20:24

cat64 · 03/05/2007 20:28

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Original poster

hoolagirl · 03/05/2007 20:31

What do 'non ironers' iron then.
I iron everything, jammies etc.
Not underwear or towels though.

OP posts:

LittleSarah · 03/05/2007 20:43

I rarely iron, shirts, occasionally smart trousers or if anything is noticeably creased. Nothing really ever is. But perhaps my standards are not that exacting.

3littlefrogs · 03/05/2007 21:47

I promise you, any teenager who can play computer games, work a CD player, download stuff onto an ipod etc, is more than capable of learning to operate a washing machine and an iron. One day, my 2 gorgeous dss will marry. I do not wish to be blamed for any shortcomings in their domestic skills.

tigermoth · 03/05/2007 22:15

yes totally agree with you I know my 13 year old is more than capable of it but I do not trust him to do it thoughtfully. I can just see him adding his coloured stuff to the whites (my whites) or burning the school trousers he is meant to be ironing.

He cooks safely and considerately for me and the rest of the family. Tidying and washing turn him into a grumpy monster. This is partly why I end up with those jobs.

themoon66 · 03/05/2007 22:50

OK... ironing... if you have a tumble dryer and fold things neatly or hang them straight out of the dryer, then there is no need to iron anything.

DS and DD have never, ever had a single item of school wear ironed.

themoon66 · 03/05/2007 22:51

And why the F**K would anyone iron pyjamas.... why, why, why????? {are you mad emoticon}

moondog · 03/05/2007 22:55

I don't get that there two loads a day and about 80 items a week.
What the hell is going on???

tigermoth · 03/05/2007 23:25

could be lots of sports stuff?

Inspired by this thread, I have just told ds that I am going to put a sports clothes bag in his room so he can dump all his dirty cricket and football stuff in it and wash it himself. With the cricket season upon us and ds wanting clean cricket whites two or three times a week, washing is mounting up. Ds was surprisingly compliant with my suggestion. Hmm.. perhaps I have been underestimating him.

moondog · 03/05/2007 23:26

My sister's 8 year old does his own washing.
And makes her espressos in the morning to drink in bed.
Christ she is lazy.

Anna8888 · 04/05/2007 07:10

moondog - sounds right to me, I wholeheartedly endorse child labour in the home.

Anna8888 · 04/05/2007 07:13

cat64 - I'm no ironing fan and I put as much in the tumble drier as possible. I certainly never iron pyjamas, jeans, boys' clothes, underwear, tea towels. But my partner has seven shirts a week to iron and my daughter and I have shirts and skirts and dresses and thin trousers. My cleaner/ironer spends about 1.5 hours a week on this.

Anna8888 · 04/05/2007 07:15

tigermoth - you should make it an absolute priority to get a dishwasher. A dishwasher is ESSENTIAL, comes before all expenditure on clothes, toys, games, outings etc

jampot · 04/05/2007 07:23

but isnt it easier to just load the washer with whatever is in the basket? surely if they put their clothes in the basket every day then its only at the most 2 pairs of trousers, 2 shirts/tshirts and pants and socks? I think you need to share the whole laundry chore. Why not say its ds job to load the machine every evening and put it on, in the morning you will hang it out and dh can iron it all in the evening? Should run like clockwork. Obviously towels are a different kettle of fish but have enough so you only have to do them twice a week and DO NOT iron them

crunchie · 04/05/2007 08:13

I don't iron and like others I don't et this ironing thing. OK I am evil polluting mother from hell as I tumble dry everything. Basically it is a time thing. Washer/dryer next to each other, washing 5 ons to load 5 mins to bung into tumble, 5 mins to fold said load.

Job done

I seriously don't iron, dh does wear shirts, but we buy M&S non iron which are perfetc

Also I don't getthis skivving thing. My dds aged 6 and 8 tidy their rooms (with assistance) and hoover them, again I redo quickly. They put clothes in wash basket, they tidy living room when needed. Basically how i do this is total bribery. YOU WILL DO IT OR THERE WILL BE NO TV/POCKET MONEY etc etc

It is getting easier as they no longer yell for 1/2 hr fiirst

3sEnough · 04/05/2007 08:19

I do all of my family's washing and ironing BUT I'm a SAHM and it's part of what I do - Hubby gets paid and I don't but that's life. You and DP are both working FT - equal split therefore ..END OF STORY!

bran · 04/05/2007 08:34

Hoolagirl, you don't need to iron that much. My DH irons his own work shirts, he does 5 or 6 at the weekend and that sees him through the week. I don't iron anything of mine unless it's a special occasion, I just don't buy anything that would need ironing. In the summer I wear t-shirts and crinkle shirts and in the winter I wear jumpers. DS is nearly 3 and I don't think I've ever ironed anything for him. The only thing that iron willingly is my quilting fabric. Most things just need to be folded well not ironed (eg bed linen).

I would have advised discussing it with your dp first in a rational manner, but who am I to talk. Recently dh said that for someone who did very little I complained a lot, I had a red mist incident with a tub of coleslaw and a pile of his clean laundry (washed by me) that I had been asking him to put away for over a week. DH now has a separate laundry basket and washes his own clothes. Since you have already taken action let them suffer for a fortnight or so and then offer a compromise, eg if they sort their laundry into whites and dark/light colours you will put them into the machine and hang them out, but they are responsible for putting the dry clothes away and their own ironing if needed.

tigermoth · 04/05/2007 19:51

just had a serious laundry talk with both ds's and dh. Both sons will be expected to put all their dirty clothing in the utility room the moment they take things off. Then put clean clothes back in their bedroom. Oldest son will do some of his own washing, under supervision from me. New rules begin now.!

Anna, the dishwasher is a funny thing with me. Our kitchen is not geared up to accommodate a dishwasher, but I am sure it would be possible. Lots of people have urged me to get one and expressed amazement that I have not got one yet, however (and apart from the expense of buying one which is a strong de-mtivator) a mad, contrary bit of me resists being told what to do, it's for my own good, etc etc. I have managed without a dishwasher all these years - I am now 49. For the same reason I don't have an ironing board either.

If we stay in a holiday let with a dishwasher, I rarely use it even then as I am just not in the habit of using them. Mad and misguided I know, but I guess it's a rebellion of a sort at I hate thinking too much about kitchens.

Anna8888 · 04/05/2007 20:09

tigermoth???????? One is never too old to see sense...

A dishwasher is a huge saver of time (time = money) and an ironing board is essential too.

tigermoth · 04/05/2007 20:14

I know, I know It just never seems to be a high priority on my 'to do' list.

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