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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to breastfeed 15mo in public?

138 replies

Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 03:01

In the past week, I've been on holiday with DS at an overcrowded, too-popular tourist holiday destination, and in my own town (University oritentation week, full of students).

In that time while feeding DS out and about (nothing on display, any exposed boob completely covered by DS' head, but also not wearing a breastfeeding shawl) I have had:

(1) a grandfather tell me I should cover up when breastfeeding in front of his grandkids

(2) a grandmother say I shouldn't be breastfeeding when they can walk and talk

(3) a woman of grandmotherly age tell me I'll rot DS' teeth and he should be drinking real milk out of a bottle (I presume "real milk" comes from cows...)

(4) a child laugh and point, then try to push our pram into the lake, while adoring parents looked on and laughed as the child tipped the pram over down the bank

(5) another child decide to come up and try to push DS out of the way, as in batting at his head and climbing on my lap, in order to feed, while parents laughed and took photos and then told me their child had more right to be breastfeeding than mine because mine was too old

(6) a man come up and film me while his wife stood there giggling with her hand over her mouth

(7) a pair of young women walk by saying "OMG that's disgusting. It's like 5 years old" "God, why would anyone do that?" ("It" being DS)

(8) a group of young men say "oh shit that's so gross" "OMG she's going to have the saggiest tits ever" and pretend to vomit, while their friend made melon-holding hand gestures emphasizing the apparently saggy tits

Until the past week I'd been fairly good at ignoring any unwanted attention, giving a baleful eye to anyone who dared look affronted. But I didn't reckon with tourist season/ uni students and DS being a pretty big 15 months.

Is breastfeeding a toddler in public really that unusual?

OP posts:
Flopjustwantscoffee · 16/02/2018 03:24

It's not at all, and there's also nothing wrong with feeding an older child either (since you suggest your child probably looks older down to his size). They were ignorant twats.

LiquoricePickle · 16/02/2018 03:28

They should be ashamed of themselves. My baby is only nine months at the moment, but I expect I'll still be feeding him by fifteen months if he wants it. Their behaviour is disgusting and would be totally out of order if your child were five.

lovelystar · 16/02/2018 03:29

Struggling to believe all of this actually happened Hmm but I guess no you're not your BU if that's all you're looking for Smile

chickychickyparmparm · 16/02/2018 03:30

Jesus this is awful. Where on earth do you live?

Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 03:31

Thanks flop Smile that's what I want to hear. I probably should've put this on the " what's pissing you off today" thread....

OP posts:
Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 03:32

cheers lovelystar. Try Queenstown in peak tourist season...

OP posts:
OkPedro · 16/02/2018 03:40

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DanaScully83 · 16/02/2018 03:40

This happened in NZ! I'm so srry for your experience that's absolutely disgusting and no you are certainly not BU. I've actually found people in NZ to be so much more supportive of BF than in the UK. Please please ignore them and continue to feed in public. Normalising BF is the best thing we can all do. I've been lucky to have several women approach me in public and tell me I'm doing a great job. When I was back in London visiting family in November I felt very uncomfortable feeding in public - whilst no-one said anything to me I got stared at a lot and was aware of several people talking about me very loudly!

OkPedro · 16/02/2018 03:44

dana everything the op said has happened in NZ?

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 16/02/2018 03:53

That’s some very strange behaviour from the tourists! And it all happened to you in one week Shock!

Yanbu at all to feed your 15mo in public.

Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 03:54

Dana I agree with you that in general NZ is very supportive. I think that I happen to have hit two very unrepresentative bits of NZ, each at their most extreme, in the same week. And most of the first 6 were clearly international tourists (though the last 2 were clearly locals).

OP posts:
OkPedro · 16/02/2018 04:00

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Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 04:03

OkPedro, can you clarify why you think I would bother posting this if it hadn't happened?

I've had a shit week somewhere incredibly beautiful that is spoiled by being crowded like Piccadilly Circus at rush hour. I then get home to studentville with the o-week teen alcohol circus in full swing. I am pissed off with the feeling that the world has an opinion on me breastfeeding, given that previous interactions have been mostly positive or clearly from nutjobs.

OP posts:
DanaScully83 · 16/02/2018 04:06

OKPedro no idea what your problem is.You've clearly got some issues that I hope you can work through.An entirely natural process makes you feel sick?!? I agree that this all sounds very unbelieveable - which to my mind is a good thing. It shows that most people are incrediby accepting of this completely natural process.

lovelystar · 16/02/2018 04:10

I could be just being naive about things I guess Sad I've been working myself up over the opposite, due to give birth any day and so stressed about people judging me for not BF. Seems whatever you do these days it's always the wrong way!

Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 04:15

Lovelystar don't worry it'll be fine. You may get opinions if you spend 5 days straight out all day, somewhere incredibly crowded, when your baby is walking, talking, wriggling during feeds and trying to talk to passersby. Generally feeding has been fine and uneventful til now.

OP posts:
OkPedro · 16/02/2018 04:16

Dana and Schwan you're the same person aren't you?

I said the thought of ME bf made ME feel sick
I don't think bf is sick!

And schwan why does anyone start a thread?? Yours is attention seeking
Obvs

DanaScully83 · 16/02/2018 04:16

lovelystar this isn't discussion about BF vs formula feeding. There are enough of those and my own personal view is that fed is best. I say that having exclusively breastfed for 6 months and I am now mixed feeding in preparation for returning to work That's what has worked for me but it is a personal decison and there is no right or wrong. I hope whatever you decide you are not judged. This is an example of someone facing abuse for conducting an entirely natural process in public - which no-one should have to tolerate. I also worry that it is the fear or receiving negative comments whilst feeding in public that deters some women from BF.

sobeyondthehills · 16/02/2018 04:17

I have no idea of the news in New Zealand but its difficult to prove

Absofrigginlootly · 16/02/2018 04:23

We'll 5&6 are illegal aren't they?!! You should report these wankers/perverts to the police!

The term "Extended BF" pisses me off.... it's just "breastfeeding". Extended implies feeding beyond "the norm"..... we are mammals. We are supposed to breastfeed our young for 2-3-4-5 years.

I BF my DD for 3 years. Nothing sick about it.

HarveyKietelRabbit · 16/02/2018 04:23

That is a hell of a lot of incidents in a few days.

sobeyondthehills · 16/02/2018 04:28

Just to check in a week you had 1.1 comments or you had 2 of those comments in 1 day?

Or maybe? No? You couldn't be?

Only1scoop · 16/02/2018 04:47

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lovelystar · 16/02/2018 05:00

@Dana I know that's not what it's about, mainly just expressing my surprise at what OP has gone through

PositiveVibes18 · 16/02/2018 06:11

I'm pro BF

But why wouldn't you give him proper food in public if he's hungry? He's 15MO then BF him at home where you are not going to get rude comments.