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AIBU?

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Original poster

to breastfeed 15mo in public?

138 replies

Schwanengesang · 16/02/2018 03:01

In the past week, I've been on holiday with DS at an overcrowded, too-popular tourist holiday destination, and in my own town (University oritentation week, full of students).

In that time while feeding DS out and about (nothing on display, any exposed boob completely covered by DS' head, but also not wearing a breastfeeding shawl) I have had:

(1) a grandfather tell me I should cover up when breastfeeding in front of his grandkids

(2) a grandmother say I shouldn't be breastfeeding when they can walk and talk

(3) a woman of grandmotherly age tell me I'll rot DS' teeth and he should be drinking real milk out of a bottle (I presume "real milk" comes from cows...)

(4) a child laugh and point, then try to push our pram into the lake, while adoring parents looked on and laughed as the child tipped the pram over down the bank

(5) another child decide to come up and try to push DS out of the way, as in batting at his head and climbing on my lap, in order to feed, while parents laughed and took photos and then told me their child had more right to be breastfeeding than mine because mine was too old

(6) a man come up and film me while his wife stood there giggling with her hand over her mouth

(7) a pair of young women walk by saying "OMG that's disgusting. It's like 5 years old" "God, why would anyone do that?" ("It" being DS)

(8) a group of young men say "oh shit that's so gross" "OMG she's going to have the saggiest tits ever" and pretend to vomit, while their friend made melon-holding hand gestures emphasizing the apparently saggy tits

Until the past week I'd been fairly good at ignoring any unwanted attention, giving a baleful eye to anyone who dared look affronted. But I didn't reckon with tourist season/ uni students and DS being a pretty big 15 months.

Is breastfeeding a toddler in public really that unusual?

OP posts:
RadioGaGoo · 16/02/2018 06:58

Jojobjob. I needed that. Thank you Flowers

Rumpledfaceskin · 16/02/2018 06:58

Mmmm, so this is in NZ or U.K.? I’m confused. 15 months is not old to still be feeding but most would be having a fair bit of solid food by then. I’ve fed pretty much and where you can possibly think of and no one even noticed, if I did get comments they were nice. Once I went into an Italian restaurant and bought a cup of tea with the clear purpose of feeding as it was pissing down outside and the waiters(all young men) despite being really busy pulled me up a chair and told me to get comfy and the tea was on the house. So lovely.

Lovesagin · 16/02/2018 06:58

Gosh op that's a lot of very weird stuff to have happened in one week. I bf for nearly 2 years and never even had a sideways glance off anyone.

Mari50 · 16/02/2018 07:02

I BF for well over two years, not a comment or a second look from anyone other than exP’s mum who felt the need to explain to me how selfish bf was.

HarveyKietelRabbit · 16/02/2018 07:02

New Zealand has much, much higher rates of BF than the UK too..

Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 07:04

I BF for well over two years, not a comment or a second look from anyone other than exP’s mum who felt the need to explain to me how selfish bf was.

But I bet she did that from day 1, honestly some people are just mad!

namechange2222 · 16/02/2018 07:05

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fluffonthesideboard · 16/02/2018 07:07

Food does not become more important than milk until about 18 months, so a 15 month old should have plenty of feeds still. Studies have shown that humans do not normally self wean before 2 if they have access to the breast. Many 1 year olds in this country may have mothers in full time work so may have cut down milk feeds. Milk is the most important part of a babys diet until 1. Babys do not need food until 1!

Mammyloveswine · 16/02/2018 07:07

I dont know whether the thread is real or not... i breastfed my first until 18 months but never really in public after about 14 months. This was only because he didn't want to feed then. However, breastfeeding is about more than simply "feeding", as pps say its about comfort so that will be why the op naturally fed her baby more than usual esp being in a busy tourist destination. I suspect her son was quite overwhelmed and tired. Im.also sure that he had plenty of food and water too... the ignorance surrounding breastfeeding never fails to make me sad and makes me realise how normal breastfed behaviour tends to be misunderstood. Many a time I've had to jusyify why my own children feed/fed "so often" and explain that yes i am quite confident that i have enough milk....Hmm

Bakedappleflavour · 16/02/2018 07:08

Shock wow, how amazing that this all happened to you op.

sirlee66 · 16/02/2018 07:13

It's the mother's choice to BF any aged child so I'd never say anything or stare! How awful for you, OP!

BF after a year is not a choice I would make but completely accept it's a choice someone else will.

LynetteScavo · 16/02/2018 07:19

You must have been doing an awful lot of feeding to get this many comments.

And why didn't you get the pram off the wild child who wanted to push it into the river?

BeHappyMummy · 16/02/2018 07:21

No problem what so ever. Your DS is not too old.

I still fee DD in public aged 2 (25 months) of she wants it and haven't even had as much as a glare.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 16/02/2018 07:21

Feed your toddler whichever way you wish, but don't do it for attention seeking purposes which, by the sher number of 'incidents' you have been doing.

This ^^

BF I can understand in the early months but after they turn one and start toddling it does seem more about mum and less about the child.

GrasswillbeGreener · 16/02/2018 07:23

I note you say your child is a pretty big 15 months - this will be just the first of many experiences coloured by people thinking your child is a lot older than they really are.

My mother had to take me back to the UK when her parents were ill, and I had just turned 1. I was walking but obviously unstable still. At one point on the plane I bumped into a 2 yr old who was smaller than me, and whose father apparently berated me for not being more careful; and of course was rather disbelieving when my age was pointed out. Age/size incidents when I was older included carrying of birth certificate in order to not pay child fares on the bus (age 3), and on starting school someone pointing us in the direction of the primary section (year 3 and up).

Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 07:24

BF I can understand in the early months but after they turn one and start toddling it does seem more about mum and less about the child.

I could not disagree more with you! IMO that's utter rubbish.

Let mother and child decide between them, it's not more for mother if it's making child happy, how could it be.

Odd attitude.

Snowbelled · 16/02/2018 07:25

Finding it very hard to believe. I BF til 18 months and in total for 3.5 years and never got a single negative comment.

Pingu49 · 16/02/2018 07:25

Parents laughed and watched while their
Child tipped your child's pram down a bank towards a lake? Hmm

I'm finding all of these incidents VERY hard to believe. Are you sure you're not being paranoid about people watching?

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/02/2018 07:26

Babys do not need food until 1!. Bloody hell fluff I’d not have survived until 1 😳. I soldiered on for 2 weeks when dd hit about 5 months. The health visitor took one look at me and told me to feed dd food at 5.5 months. Now. So I gave her a little food that day.

As for breastfeeding in public. I did it mostly in the car or comfy chairs in breast feeding rooms. I have chronic pain so needed comfort. I definitely also think it’s fine to bf in public.

eeanne · 16/02/2018 07:41

BF I can understand in the early months but after they turn one and start toddling it does seem more about mum and less about the child

WTF does this mean?

ZZZZ1111 · 16/02/2018 07:42

Yellow clearly you haven't got any experience bf an older baby/toddler. Your comment will sound absolutely ridiculous to anyone who is!

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 16/02/2018 07:43

Why not express your milk? If all this really did happen

jessei · 16/02/2018 07:44

I still breastfeed my twins in public who are a similar age to your baby. I've yet to encounter any negativity on a scale like this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/02/2018 07:44

Why should op express her milk? I think a 15 month old would spot the difference. Feeding a toddler isn’t the same as feeding a 6 week old.

WhiteWalkersWife · 16/02/2018 07:47

Thats very unlucky op. What was your reaction?

Ive never been commented in public except by friends who thought id better give it up as dc got teeth. Forgetting babies can be born with them and have at 3 months if not. Then told if they can ask for it then its wrong. I pointed out dc couldnt talk yet...

These people were stuck on the idea of boobs as sexual only. Mine were multitaskers.