Does your school do this?

[Tantrumschmantrum]

Was chatting with a parent the other day who was expressing their concern about thier DCs behaviour at school. They were saying how the school had phoned them as lets call them 'Kim' had been naughty and had been mean to other children and had even hit another child. Then I saw some smiley face stickers on Kims top which Kim apparently got for being good. Kim also got star of the week very recently.

I've not had any calls about bad behaviour from my DC lets call them Pat. Pat rarely has smiley face stickers and hasn't had star of the week.

The private nursery Pat goes to are always telling me Pat is a very helpful kind child. Why then is Pat not getting stickers and certificates? I'm told by teacher friend that this sort of thing happens a lot and is just to give children such as Kim incentives to be good, but children like Pat who are already behaving don't get rewarded. AIBU or is this a bit crap?!

Our school uses both positive and negative reinforcement. Mine is pretty good. She does get moody from time to time and upset if friends are mean to her, but behaviourally I would say she's one of the ones they really have no concerns with. She comes home with stickers all the time for being helpful and has been star of the week maybe 2 times since the start of the year (there's 11 of them, so I imagine they vaguely rotate it through to an extent). She's gotten a few other mentions in assembly for various other things. It's nice and she likes it. She cares less about the awards and merits, as they don't mean much to her, but she likes the stickers. There are some kids in her class who have some behavioural issues and I don't know exactly what they do with them, but I would imagine they do get praised and noticed when they do have a really good day or week and I suspect the teachers probably do make a fuss of it. I think different things work for different children and some may respond to that. I know mine likes it and I suspect there are some kids in her class who may be a bit more challenging who like it too (in these cases, because I know the families, I expect they don't get a lot of that at home). But it's not going to work with all of them and different teachers may do it differently. So I imagine they try lots of different things and I wouldn't overthink it.

For my class I have ‘Wow!’ moments. These are tiny cards that I carry everywhere and hand out for all kinds of things...great work, kindness, doing the right thing etc. In fact I gave one to a little girl recently who is a model student and the reason I wrote was ‘just for being you’ and I told her, in front of the class, that whenever I look at her she is always doing what she is supposed to be doing. Wriggly kids get them for sitting nicely. Boisterous kids get them for walking sensibly. Once you get a card your name goes in a box and a lucky dip draw takes place on Friday to win Star of the Week. The more Wow cards you’ve had the more chance of winning (although the ‘random’ draw is secretly helped to ensure everyone wins at least once)

The kids who are never (well, rarely) a PITA and are doing their level best academically get a special award, doled out half termly, with more pomp and circumstance than the usual round of carrots. I also make sure to tell them on a regular basis that they're great and that good behaviour is its own reward. Ain't perfect, but it does even the scales a bit.

I'm a TA and I work in a school where there are absolutely no rewards. I much prefer it. I think it's far more effective when you say to a child on the spot 'well done for doing this' or 'I'm proud of you doing that'. I also support a child with challenging behaviour and the behaviour support team told us to put in place a reward system. That only worked for the first couple of months. It seemed like water off a ducks back whether or not he got a reward but he always likes it when we tell his parents at pick up time if he has done something well. Unfortunately mum's response depends on what mood she is in that day .