to expect MIL to feed ds only what I leave out for him?

[mildredpierce]

MIL is looking after ds (8 mo) for a day a week whilst I work, which is great for us all; they enjoy the time spent together & I get peace of mind at work. However, she's always been of the 'I know best' brigade, which mostly isn't an issue, as we have fairly similar views on bringing up kids. I leave food for him so she hasn't got too much to do, but she's always giving him things I don't want him to have - she gave him weetabix the other day with his fruit & porridge. I know it doesn't sound like much but she has no idea what a balanced diet consists of, and I'm worried that one day I'll come home & she'll have fed him chocolate or stuffed him with biscuits before tea. Also, if she can't respect what I want him to eat, will this disregard spread into other areas? So, am I unreasonable to be so bloody annoyed?

I think you're being unreasonable.

If you work, I believe there has to be some element of compromise to fit in with the carer. Weetabix should be a fairly straightforward thing to deal with.

NewGirl- don't you mean madewithoatsinsteadofweetabix? lol

Grandparents (and mils) just can't win, can they?

should have had my ex mother in law who used to throw away all the lovingly prepared home cooked meals, send back the tub and take ds to mcdonalds (only found this out later).

who once tried to charge us £18 tax fare after she decided to visit him in hospital (and i DID tell her where to shove that, ex p could have picked them up if a mile on the bus was too much)

who would take him to doctors on an almost weekly basis, without my prior knowledge, or consent when there was bugger all wrong with him.

who told me i was evil for taking him dummy away when he was 3.

who told me he was allergic to this that and the other when it was actually all lies.

the first time i needed anti depressants was when i crossed paths with that woman!

ahhh happy times...

I don't understand the point that there is a principle at stake. What principle? That even when oone isn't there, one's wishes must be obeyed to the letter? That there can be no leeway? No slight difference just because people are different? So that a Weetabix becomes a sign of a lack of respect? I don't get the principle argument at all.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Think yourself lucky you have a mum to help you and spoil your ds. What I wouldn't give to have my mum back to help with my children and feed them half a ton of sweets as soon as my back was turned

mildred, it is your first child - I was precious with dd as well. When it gets to no.2, you will be feeding him/her choc yourself if it gave you a moment's peace. Give your MIL a break!

Sorry, just realised it was your MIL not your mum , and very sorry if you are in same boat as me and have lost your mum. Still think you are being a bit unreasonable though.

well, i kind of see where you are coming from. My son is 5 months at the moment but when he was just 3 months old MIL AND my sister in law gave him strawberry ice cream at a party, i obviously told them not to, but they still kept doing it, saying "oh it will be good for his gums". It wasn't much ice cream but it really annoyed me because i told them that he was way to young and it would probably upset his stomach. I mean c'mon do they have a brain. It ended up that I had to leave the party. After that, a few weeks later my son fell very ill, i found out that they used to feed him a different formula milk rather than the one i gave him, when they looked after my son. So he was getting two different formula milks at the same time. Now they only see my son when myself or my partner are there because they cant be trusted.
At the end of the day they should respect how you choose to bring up your own child but at the same time, you cant be so rigid all the time with the food that you give your child. Perhaps they are unaware of how you feel about the issue, and because they might think its not a big deal think its ok to do what they are doing. Have you asked her why she gave him something different rather then what you left? Maybe your child didn't want to eat what you had left him and she didn't want him to go hungry and didn't want you to think that she was being a bad grandma, however why give him porridge and weetabix at the same time?.Clearly you are not stupid and are trying to be a good mum, you know whats best for your child and you should know when people are undermining you, like in my situation. In my opinion you should try and communicate with your in-laws and find out why, make your views clear, and question them about what is going on with your child when they l;ook after him at the end of the day you have a right to know because he is your child.

Ness

What does dd and ds mean (sorry i am new)

Hi there & welcome, DS- dear/darling son, DD- dear/darling daughter. See the acronym list at the top of page for help. You soon get used to it! x

Nessie, it's just a mumsnet thing, I asked the same question. DD = dear daughter, DS dear son, etc etc etc. Don't know who started it or why but there you go

yes i found it, i couldnt see it for looking durrhhhhhh ha ha

rachmumof2 - exactly poster could write that down for mil so she knows exactly what to get

omg sum1 report me for i have sinned ...... i fed my dd weetabix for breakfast this morning

seriously tho i wud just forget bout it n leave ur mil 2 it n just be grateful for the help she gives u

i dont have any problem with my mother or mil feedin the kids chocolate sweets bicuits or ice cream as they dont c my kids often cos of the distance we live from them so i know its only a treat n the kids know they wont b gettin them regularly

everything aloha said

Nessie, when I joined I thought everyone's children on MN had initials beginning with d. I did think there must be so many little Davids and Davinas running around the UK!